


Bred In Captivity

by Anonymous



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: A Retta-Angel sat on my shoulder crooning 'treat yo-self' the entire time I was writing this, Accidental Force Bonds, Aliens Made Them Do It, Angst with a Happy Ending, Belligerently Asexual POV Character, But only a little and short-term, Clone Troopers Speak Mando'a (Star Wars), Consent given under duress, Explicit smut really isn't all that smutty, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Forced Pregnancy, I took out all the fun and added trauma. whoops, Imprisonment, It's really self-indulgent I'm not even sorry, M/M, Mandalorian Clone Troopers (Star Wars), Mando'a Language (Star Wars), Non-Consensual Drug Use, POV Female Character, POV First Person, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Threesome, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sex Pollen, That's Not How The Force Works, The Author is here for fun not serious business, Unethical Scientific Experiments, We start with angst and whump but eventually move onto fluff, breeding and pregnancy kink, creative interpretation of Mando'a grammar, i carved up canon for juicy bits and blatantly ignored everything else
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:14:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 52,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26939464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: I woke up in a glass cage, part of a scientific experiment, expected to breed with a man I had never met. He promised that rescue was coming. I had to believe him. We just had to hope that rescue came before it was too late.---Mind the Tags, y'all. Check the warnings.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker & Original Female Character, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 142
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a fun little, "let's just have fun with an idea and see where it goes" sort of story, and it's got a little out of hand. So I wrote some smut, and then I took out all the fun parts of smut and added trauma instead. Then I decided to turn it into a real story and tossed it into a fandom and here we are.
> 
> There's a plot in here somewhere, I promise. Can guarantee things will probably become delightfully tropey in the future. But also, I'm gonna enjoy soaking in an angst and whump bath for a little bit.
> 
> Mind the tags for content warnings. The Explicit rating (and most of the tags) really will only apply to the first couple chapters, after that we'll go back to probably an M or T rating for content. If you've got questions and/or need something screened before reading, feel free to ask. I tagged everything I could think of, but there's always something I might have missed.
> 
> Oh, I almost forgot, I wanna explain the relationship tags. Anakin and Obi-Wan are together sexually/romantically, POV character wants none of that. She is, however, not opposed to getting in on some platonic cuddles from the other two at the same time, so long as nobody catches feels for her or expects her to reciprotace. It might be a little complicated, but hopefully it'll make sense as it plays out.

I woke up with a sour taste in my mouth and a headache drumming behind my eyes. My body was slow to respond, my brain groggy and confused, it took me a moment to realize the drumming wasn’t just in my head. Somebody was pounding on my front door, some asshole neighbor, or annoying kid.

 _I better go see what they want so they can leave me to nurse my hangover in peace_ , I thought with groggy malice. I rolled over and cracked an eye open to check the time. I sat up like a bolt, my head spun in protest, but that was the least of my problems.

This wasn’t my room, this wasn’t my bed, my home! I didn’t recognize anything.

I found the source of the hammering, a man, tall, muscular, reddish hair. His back was to me so I couldn’t see much else, but he was beating his fist against a wide glass window; not angrily like he was trying to break it, but as if he were testing it for weakness.

"Where am I?"

The man stopped his pounding and whipped around to face me. He was older than me by a few years, somewhere in his thirties, he had a well-groomed beard, and a slight lightening at his temples that would probably be gray in a few more years. He looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place him.

"You're awake! Are you hurt?" His accent was crisp, core-world, Coruscanti I thought. He took a couple steps toward me, but stopped short, pressing his hands against a glass partition.

“No, I’m not hurt.” Other than a hangover from hell, but I didn’t think that was worth sharing.

I was in a small room, a cage made of glass windows and smooth, white tile floors. My bed was made of molded white plastic, slightly off center of the room, with a thin mattress and thinner sheets. Behind me was a solid wall, built from the same wide tiles as the floor and ceiling. It held a toilet, a sink, a shower, and little depressions in the wall that served as shelves for a scattering of little bottles. It was all open, there was no partition or screen to hide behind. The man’s cell was identical, and a glass wall divided the cage into even halves. Beyond the glass walls of the cell was nothing but more plain white tiled walls and floors in every visible direction; no windows, no doors, just emptiness.

My clothes were gone. I had been dressed in a long grey tunic that fell almost to my knees. It was loose, shapeless, thin. I was barefoot too. I shivered, but not from cold, the cage was at comfortably warm temperature. The man was dressed the same as I was.

My legs felt weak as I got up and staggered to the man. I had to use the partition for support as pins and needles prickled painfully in my legs. "Where am I? What’s happening?"

"I don't know." The man admitted. "I woke up same as you, no memory of getting here. Last I remember… I was following a suspected spy."

"I was on my way home from work," I say quietly. It had been payday and I had the next day off, so I had splurged on a nice bottle of tequila to celebrate my free time. I remembered the liquor store, but I couldn’t remember getting home. I hadn’t even gotten to taste the expensive tequila. "Can we get out?"

He shook his head. "Everything's bolted down, and I can't break the glass. Nobody has come by, but someone had to put us in these cages."

"What do you think they want?"

"I don’t now. But hopefully we won't be around long enough to find out. I know my friends will be looking for me. Rescue will be coming."

I felt a flutter of hope in my chest. If his friends were good people, they would probably take me with them when they came for the man. I knew nobody would be looking for me. My disappearance would probably be noted by two people, and even then, they would find it an inconvenience not a tragedy. My boss would curse me for not showing up for work, then waste five whole minutes dredging up a replacement. My landlord would be irritated about the missed rent payment due next week, and make up for it by selling all my belongings and renting my apartment to the next desperate soul who needed a cheap roof over their head. Nobody else would miss me, nobody else would notice. I had no friends, no family, not even a pet or houseplant to miss my care.

“Did they chip you too?” the man asked.

"What?"

He turned and pointed to something dark on the back of his neck, a few inches wide, imbedded into his skin. My hand flew to the back of my neck, and I felt something cool and metallic beneath my fingers. I gave it an experimental pull, and it clung painfully to my raw skin.

"Yes," I lifted my hair to show him. "What do you think they are?"

"Trackers, bioreaders, maybe even something that could hurt or control us." He turned his head and muttered, "Something is coming."

We both rushed to the front of the cells, our captors had finally made an appearance. They weren’t human, or even remotely humanoid, and not a species I could begin to recognize. They were almost insectoid, with shiny black carapaces, and they carried themselves on a writhing mass of green-brown tentacles. The closest I could compare them to were the little isopods that I used to pry up from under rocks as a child, but these ones were huge, bigger than me, probably bigger than the man too, and he had at least six inches of height on me.

Four of them stopped in front of our cell, carrying datapads in their tentacles. I couldn’t identify a face, or a mouth, or any kind of sight organs, but by the way my skin crawled I knew they were observing us. They made a hissing, clicking noise, which must have been their speech, because one of the datapads began translating in stilted, mechanical tones.

" _You have been selected for scientific study_."

"We didn't consent to this!" The man barked back.

" _Of course you wouldn't. Such knowledge would taint the purity of the study_."

"What are you studying?" I asked.

" _Human behavior in captivity. Human reaction to stimuli. Human reproduction._ "

I looked at the man. He looked just as confused, disgusted, "You can't force us to-"

" _We can. And we will_." One of the creatures lifted a tentacle, and pressed it against their datapad. Incredible pain shot through me, traveling up and down my spine, freezing me and burning me.

"Stop! Stop it!"

The pain disappeared as fast as it came. I was on the floor, tears streaming down my cheeks, gasping for breath, dull pain aching in my hands and knees. I had no memory of falling. The man was facing me, pressed against the glass in an attempt to reach me. I sat up shakily, but didn’t feel strong enough to stand. The back of my neck ached around the chip.

" _If pain and punishment are not motivation enough, we have chemical means to attain our goals._ "

I didn’t know what they meant by ‘chemical means,’ but I wasn’t sure I wanted to be drugged. I glanced at the man and the aliens. Then again, being forced to have sex with someone I didn’t even know, being forced to breed for a science experiment… maybe drugs would help.

The man looked no happier at the prospect than I did.

Maybe the aliens would take some time, waiting until we were were in good health before forcing us. If they were scientists, they would be clinical about this. I knew my cycle, and I knew I was about to start my period soon. It wasn’t something I really tracked, but I knew I wouldn’t be ovulating for a couple more weeks after that. That would be almost a month away. Maybe rescue would come before then.

"And what if we refuse? What if we can withstand the pain and torture?" The man demanded.

" _Unsuitable subjects will be replaced_."

My mouth went dry. I didn’t think being replaced meant they were going to send me home with an apology and a participation trophy.

" _We will give you time to acquaint._ " The aliens left through a door out of view from the cage.

As soon as they were gone, the man sank to the floor. "Are you hurt?"

"No, the pain faded quickly. Hurt like hell at the time though." I rubbed at the chip in my neck, that still ached, and touching it didn’t help.

"You really think they'll make us..."

"Probably. Otherwise, why take a man and a woman?" I shot him a look. "I presume you're cis? Got all the equipment they need for the male half of this equation. These aliens probably did their homework."

The man scoffed. "Not enough. I'm in a rather committed relationship, and don't take this the wrong way, but you're not really my type."

I half-smiled tightly. "Wrong gender, huh?" He bobbed his head to the side; I took that as an affirmation. "That's okay. You're not really my type either. Nobody is... I don't exactly have a type." I sighed heavily. "You think this is just an experiment for them? Or do you think someone is getting their kicks off this?"

"Let's hope just the first. They’ll be more likely to keep things controlled, if they really are scientists.”

I smiled grimly and half-laughed, "If I'm making porn, I expect to be paid for it."

That raised a small twitch at the corner of his mouth, an almost smile.

"I just realized I don't know your name.”

He told me his, I told him mine. _Obi-Wan Kenobi_ , I didn’t recognize the name, other than it felt vaguely familiar, like someone I knew as a child. He didn’t believe we had ever crossed paths before, but he explained why he was familiar. He was a Jedi, a General in the Republic Army, and got mentioned quite often in the news holos.

Technically speaking, he was my enemy; I was a Separatist. Or, more accurately, I lived on a Separatist world – I was too poor to get involved in galactic politics. It never mattered much to me who was in charge, so long as I got paid for my work, kept a roof over my head, and food in my belly. Politics were for people with privilege.

Obi-Wan didn’t seem like a bloodthirsty warlord, or a child-stealing cultist. I wasn’t surprised; I never really bought into the propaganda anyway.

Well, warlord or conscripted officer, it didn’t matter one way or the other. He was still going to have to rape me, or I him. Collectively, we would both be raped by the aliens forcing us to their demands. The thought alone made me sick.

I had never been interested in sex or sexual relationships. I never wanted children, and people weren’t really interested in a romantic relationship if it meant I didn’t want to kiss them or let them get their dick wet. I hadn’t really dated anyone since I was a teenager, and even then I barely kissed the guy. Hell, I was still a virgin. I hadn’t been a problem, it was never an issue. I never really needed or wanted the touch of another.

I looked Obi-Wan over. He was handsome enough, thought that didn’t really check any boxes for me. It certainly didn’t help the fact that eventually we were going to be forced upon each other against both our wills.

"It's not right, what they'll make us do." 

He looked over at me, concern clear on his face. "No, it's not. We can try to resist. I'm not sure how long we could last though."

I did not have a high tolerance for pain. If they tried to torture me with that shock from the chip again, I’d give in after two seconds.

"They said they wanted to study us in captivity, and our behavior. Maybe they wouldn't force it."

"We can hope, but I won't hold my breath. There were three things they wanted to study. I don't know many scientists who would be happy with only two thirds of their study proceeding, not if they can force the issue. And they said they had chemical means."

"What do you think those are?"

He shrugged. "Drugs, aphrodisiacs, synthesized hormones. Any number of things."

We paused as one of the aliens returned, presumably from a door we could not see from our cage. " _As you are capable of understanding, we will explain the parameters of our study_." It read from its datapad. " _The female is being treated with fertility hormones, the male virility. You will mate during the peak ovulation days, on regular intervals. This will continue until fertilization occurs and viable pregnancy can be observed. We do not wish to harm you, we do not wish to kill you, but your compliance will be required, and if necessary, punishment will be administered. Do you understand?_ "

We both replied “yes.” Their demands are simple, if monstrous.

" _The female is already at peak ovulation. We require you to mate today_."

I blanched. "No, that can't be right, I know my cycle. I just-"

" _You have lost time, female_ ," the alien informed me. " _We kept you in stasis while we transported you and prepared you for the experiment. You are ovulating and fertile._ "

"Oh." I shuddered.

" _We understand it may take time and discussion before you are ready to mate. You will be given it. But if you fail to initiate copulation, or if you refuse, we will use chemical means to stimulate you. You are being observed._ " And again, the alien disappeared, but to a different door I still couldn’t see.

With a smooth whir, the glass partition between my cell and the man’s lowered into the floor, exposing us. Neither of us moved. we were still sitting on the floor, just a few feet from each other. I wasn’t going to be the first one to make a move.

Tears come to my eyes. "I can't do this. I don't want to. I don't want to be pregnant. I don't want to rape you, or be raped." I buried my face in my hands.

I heard movement, shifting, a body settled next to me and a warm hand fell on my shoulder. "Then we will refuse."

"But I don't want to die. I don't want them to hurt me or you. A-and I don't want to be forced into it. Being drugged, or whatever, would be even worse."

"I don't want that either," he admitted. "I'd like to stay in control of myself, my body, my mind, at least however much I can." He sighed. "Maybe we can fool them. Make it look like we've... mated. They can't possibly see every angle, every detail. It could buy us some time."

"How long do you think it will take for your rescue to find us?"

He frowned and shook his. "I don't know. I don’t know where in the galaxy we are. I don’t recognize these people; we may be out in Wild Space."

I swallowed a huge lump in my throat. "Should we just get it over with then?" With a morbid, rueful laugh, I admitted, "I am completely inexperienced in this department. This isn’t exactly how I imagined it would if I ever decided I did want to have sex."

The man matched my rueful smile. "It's been a while since I've been with a woman, but I think I remember the important parts."

I didn’t relax. "Would it help to think about your partner?"

"No," he breathed a laugh, "I don't think thinking of him will help right now. He would not take this situation nearly as well.”

"At least you have someone looking for you."

"You don't?"

"No. I won't even be missed."

He frowned, his hand gripped my shoulder. At least he didn't apologize. Too many people feel the need to pity me for my solitary life. There was no need to; I chose to live that way. If I wanted friends or lovers, I would seek them out.

"This won't get any easier the longer we wait." I reasoned grimly. I looked him dead in the eye. I noticed they were blue. "Are you okay with this?"

"As much as I can be. You?"

"Yeah." I nodded, the knot in my stomach tightened with the lie. I would never truly be okay with it, but of the options presented to us, this one seems the least terrible. Alcohol would help, but if the purpose of this study was to get pregnant, they probably wanted to keep me sober. I say as much, not keeping the bitterness from my voice, “These aliens could at least buy a girl a drink first.”

He hummed in the back of his throat, agreeing with me. "I'll see if they left us anything helpful." He stood up and investigated the scattering of bottles on the shelves of his bathroom area. I sat gingerly on the edge of my bed.

The tunic they dressed me in covered me well enough, but I was naked underneath, no underwear, no bra. I suspected Obi-Wan was in the same situation. No-fuss, easy access; we wouldn’t even have to be naked if we didn’t want to.

"At least they saw fit to provide us with lube. That will help."

I nodded stiffly. Lube was going to be a must, because absolutely nothing about this situation was going to get me anywhere past bone-dry. But I wasn’t exactly the active player in this experiment at the moment. The aliens had mentioned they were treating him with something, probably hormones to make sure he could perform adequately. Even still, I knew enough about male anatomy to know they usually needed a little encouragement.

"Do you want me naked? Will that help?"

"I think we might both be more comfortable staying dressed."

I had to agree. Keeping this as impersonal as possible would probably make this easier. "What should I do?"

"Lie down, get comfortable. I... have some preparation to do." He then paused. "Do... do you want this to be good for you? I will have to finish. Do you want the same?"

"No. I just want this over with. Be quick, but... be gentle."

He nodded and turned his back to me. I arranged myself on the bed, lifting my tunic exposing my lower half. I threw my hands over my eyes and tried to keep calm. Fear and anticipation had made me so tense, I didn’t think I could enjoy this, even if I were inclined to like sex.

I reminded myself, this was for survival, this was the lesser of evils, it didn’t make me hate it less, but it helped that I could tell my cellmate hated it too.

"I'm going to have to touch you," his voice was gentle, barely covering the tension.

"Do whatever you need."

His hands were warm and gentle as they slowly pried my legs apart, I hadn’t even realized how tightly I had been clenching my thighs together. He maneuvered my legs into a better position, knees bent, legs wide; a familiar position from my gynecological exams. The clinical familiarity helped. He narrated quietly what he was doing every step of the way, waiting for my consent before moving forward.

I gasped when he slid a lube-coated finger into me. I knew it was coming, I tried not to tense up, but I know he took notice. He was tense too.

"This might hurt if you aren't prepared."

"I don't care. Just do it."

Beneath the shield of my hands, I screwed my eyes shut tight. I don’t need to see the reluctance and hesitance in his face to know it’s there.

"Okay, be ready."

Something much bigger than a finger entered me. I couldn’t help but whine at the sudden pressure and pain of my unprepared body accommodating to him. Tears prickled in my eyes. He froze.

"You're hurt."

"You said it would. I can manage. I just need a moment."

"Match my breathing, it will help you relax."

I focused on him, on the steady and even count of his breathing. In and out, slow and steady. It helped, it gave me something else to think about, and at that moment, I would take any available distraction. When I felt ready for him to continue, I told him. I felt the weight of his hands settle on either side of me, but not touching me.

"Tell me if you need me to stop."

Slowly, gently, he slid out and then back into me. After a minute, my body realized what was happening, I relaxed more, it began to feel good. I had my own toys to play with – I was ace, not dead – but I tended to favor ones that focused on my clit rather than dildos. This felt familiar, and entirely different. I stayed focused on his breathing, matching it as it picked up tempo. It became almost a game, a song, I thought absurdly; the rhythm of our bodies rocking together, the tempo of breath, the drumming of our hearts.

Then the tempo was interrupted. He withdrew from me quickly and something warm spilled across my stomach. He had finished outside of me. I knew that wasn’t an entirely reliable way to not get pregnant, but I hoped it was be enough, and it could fool our captors long enough.

He muttered an apology, still not moving from above me. He wiped a cloth over my stomach, cleaning up his cum as discretely as possible. I didn’t move, didn’t uncover my eyes until the weight was gone from the bed.

“Do you think it worked?” I asked, sitting up and scooting away from the wet spot on my sheets.

His back was to me, cleaning himself up. "I hope so."

I had an answer a second later, when he suddenly seized and fell to his knees. I realized with a pit in my stomach that his chip just zapped him, like mine did earlier.

An alien’s voice came through an unseen speaker. " _Next time, you will copulate properly, or there will be consequences_."

I rushed to his side to help him to his feet. He shook his head vehemently, still on his knees. “I can't, I won't force you to..."

My lip trembled, I wanted to cry again, but I pushed the tears back. They wouldn’t give us a choice. If this was the worst it could get, then I could learn to deal with it. And it would only be for a few days every four weeks. Other times there would be no reason for the aliens to force us to do anything untoward. He didn’t seem to take any comfort in my grim logic.

It was not a problem we could solve right then, not while everything was still so raw. I felt dirty and my skin crawled. "I think I'd like a shower."

We both looked to our respective ‘fresher areas; there were no partitions, no curtains, no privacy. I felt suddenly shy about my body, even if just a few minutes ago, Obi-Wan had been familiar with my most intimate area. Fucking as a science experiment was one thing, showering in plain view of each other was another.

"I'll turn my back, and you turn yours," he offered as compromise.

"I think that's the best we can do." I had the feeling he wasn’t the type to be sneaking peaks while my back was turned.

We separated, and he crossed back to his side of the cell. As soon as he cleared the divide, the glass partition rose. We both frowned at the sturdy pane of glass. Would they keep us separated unless they wanted the two of us to mate? At the moment I wasn’t sure if I preferred the forced separation or not.

Shampoo and soap had been provided, as well as towels and a washcloth. No razors, I noted, or scissors; nothing sharp to groom and tame hair with, nor to hurt myself with. The water got plenty warm, but I couldn't stop from getting goosebumps, so exposed and open like this. I washed quickly, resolutely keeping my eyes trained on the wall in front of me, and with nothing else available, I slipped the tunic back on. By the time I got to towel drying my hair, Obi-Wan was already done. He sat on his bed, legs crossed, hands resting on his knees, eyes closed. It looked like he was meditating. I didn’t bother him. He had as much to process about all this as I had.

The bed was the only available place to sit, but I couldn’t bring myself to sit there. The sheets were rumpled and there was still a wet spot. I didn’t know if I would ever be able to sleep soundly in that bed, it was soiled now, tainted, not a place of rest. I settled onto the floor, resting my back against the plastic foot of the bed, closed my eyes, and let my thoughts wander.

An unknown amount of time later, I heard a whirring. My heart sank as I looked at the glass partition, but it remained in place. I turned to the one solid wall in my cell. A panel had opened up revealing a plastic tray. I looked over to the other side of the cell, an identical panel had opened up in Obi-Wan’s wall. He stirred from his meditation as the translated alien voice spoke again, " _You will consume the sustenance, or you will be punished_."

I pushed myself to my feet and gathered my tray. It was nutritional paste; rations, a complete meal in a cup, but flavorless and unappetizing. I was familiar enough with food of this type; we ate it when traders and shipments didn’t make it back home. I always hated it, but food was food and I didn’t want to risk being punished for turning my nose up. There was also a cup of clear, clean water.

These aliens understood human basic needs a little too well. I was beginning to harbor the suspicion that Obi-Wan and I were not the first humans they had put in this cage for their experiments.

"Believe it or not, I have actually had worse." Obi-Wan said with a falsely bright note in his voice as he settled onto the floor next to the partition with his identical tray.

I sat across from him and picked up my spoon. "Me too."

The paste has a blandly sweet taste. I thought it was supposed to be vanilla flavored, but developed by someone who had never truly tasted it and had only heard descriptions. We ate in silence for a couple minutes.

"I don't want to do that again," Obi-Wan said quietly.

"I don't either, but I don't think we have much of a choice." I didn’t meet his eyes and instead focused on stirring my bowl of food. The paste became pastier and it did nothing to help it appear more appetizing.

He lowered his voice even more, "We could refuse. See what exactly they'll do to us. Maybe they're bluffing. Maybe they will simply observe us."

"And maybe they'll force us to do something even worse to each other. Or maybe they'll hurt us, torture us, starve us, kill us."

"We must be in agreement about the next steps. I don't want to force you into anything."

"I'm already forced into something I don't want to be in." I drew a deep breath and considered the options. "These aliens, they're scientists. Surely they would understand if we tried to run an experiment. Next time, we'll do nothing. Let's stay in our corners and be good boys and girls."

Obi-wan cracked a smile, "Let's see what they do with that."

I finished my meal and placed the tray and bowl back in the still-open panel in the wall. I gave the panel a cursory inspection, I saw no seams, no breaks where I might be able to pry my nails into and break my way out. I didn’t really expect there to be one. I kept the water cup, since they had not provided anything else for us to drink from.

We waited and waited, nothing happened, nothing changed. I wondered aloud what time it was and whether the meal we just ate was supposed to be breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

"I guess we'll have to wait and see." His eyes went up to the ceiling.

The lights of the room made the white tiles look almost sky blue. I hoped they came with a night mode, I didn't do well sleeping in anything but total darkness.

More time passed. I got bored and restless. I took to pacing around my cell, inspecting every inch for the slightest flaw, an uneven tile that I could pry loose, something in the ceiling I might reach standing on my bed. There was nothing. The bed could not be moved from the floor, and I couldn’t wrench any of the ‘fresher hardware off the walls. I kept pacing, I could get in two dozen paces around the perimeter. Obi-wan had settled back in to meditate after finishing his food. If my pacing and attempts at destroying my half of the cell bothered him, he didn’t tell me to stop.

Eventually I grew tired and sat back on the floor net to my bed. Obi-wan watched me, frowning. "If it bothers you this much, next time we can use my bed."

I hugged my knees tightly. "I don't think that will make things any better."

"You need to be able to sleep somewhere."

I swallowed and glanced to the bed. "Maybe if I only use it for sleeping and... well, it might not be so bad. How long do you think it’s been?"

"About four hours."

"Do you think they'll make us try again today?"

"Most likely, yes."

As if on cue, the glass partition dropped. We shared a look, a nod of agreement, fell silent and didn't move.

After several minutes, a voice crackled over the speakers. " _You have five minutes to initiate copulation, or we will administer chemical measures._ "

Neither of us responded to that. I counted silently in my head, somewhere around 300, a hissing sound reached my ears. I looked up to see a mist of some kind being sprayed down from the ceiling. It settled on my skin like a warm dew, sweet smelling, sickeningly so. Some fell on my lips; it tasted just as sweet and horrible.

My heart hammered in my chest. Was this their drug? Their ‘chemical means’? What would it to do me?

A heat began pooling in my belly, gnawing at me like hunger. Lust and spontaneous arousal was not something I experienced often, but I knew it when I felt it. The heat traveled south. I was still sore from my previous session; the last thing I wanted was anything touching me down there again. But as time passed, and the dew dried sticky on my skin, the soreness faded, and I longed for any kind of touch. I squeezed my thighs together tightly, trying to ignore the feeling of my growing arousal. Behind me, I heard Obi-Wan clear his throat, shifting uncomfortably.

I snuck a glance over to him. His back was to me and he was still trying to meditate. Even I could tell he was failing.

Energy surged through me, I couldn’t sit still a moment longer. I leapt to my feet and began pacing, twenty-four steps in a circle, taking care of stay on my half of the cell. I recited our simple plan in my head: stay in my corner, be a good girl.

I was hot, burning up, sweating like I was running full sprint rather than walking briskly. I feel smothered, and sticky. I eyed my shower. The water ran cold, it would help. It would probably feel blissful.

I looked at Obi-Wan. He was flushed, pacing, looking just as uncomfortable and bothered as I was.

"I have to cool off. I have to shower. Don't look."

Why was I panting now? Why did the cell feel so much smaller? My nethers were burning with desire. My tunic felt like it was made from heavy wool, hot and clingy. I peeled it off quickly, no longer caring for modesty or privacy. I turned the water on as cold as it would go and stepped under the stream. There was a little relief, but not enough. I whined in frustration. This was torture, but I knew I could handle it.

This was what they wanted. They wanted me to break down, to give in. I was stronger than this, than them.

As the cold water flowed over me, my hand traveled south. I thought I might be able to satisfy myself discretely. I was so damn sensitive, surely it would only take a minute. My fingers brushed my clit, an electric shock of pleasure stuck through me. Then, with a yelp, another shock hit me from the chip in my neck. It was short, not strong enough to bring me to my knees, but the message was clear. I could not touch myself.

I noticed a smell in the room, not entirely unpleasant; it was heady, musky, intoxicating. It was me, but not entirely, I smelled similar, but different. I turned to find a source. Obi-Wan had taken my cue and stepped under his own cold shower. I couldn’t explain how, but the scent was coming from him, and the water was only making it worse. I buried my face in the cold water stream and stifle a cry of frustration. I was stronger than this. Better than this.

The cold shower irritated me; I turned it off with another low cry of frustration. It had done nothing to help ease my suffering and the water drumming on my skin only tortured it. It was stimulating, but not enough. I couldn’t bear the thought of using the towel to dry myself, warm myself even further, and the thought of putting my tunic back on didn’t even cross my mind. I felt a warm wetness between my legs, and I knew it wasn’t from the shower. I could smell it. I ran a finger through my own slick, just to be certain.

I flinched at a touch on my shoulder, and spun around to come face to face with Obi-Wan. His eyes were empty, hungry, feral. I knew exactly what he wanted and I wanted it just as much, just as badly. I threw myself against him, crashing my mouth into his. I could feel his throbbing erection pressed against me, and I wanted nothing more than to feel it inside me again.

The need dominated my brain, I became single-focused on one thing. I was certain that if his cock was not inside me in the next minute, I would surely die. We staggered together away from the shower, I briefly thought about making it to a bed, but we didn’t make it that far. We tumbled to the floor, too preoccupied to care about bumps or bruises. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him close. I had no more words, I needed no words. He slid inside me and filled me with pleasure.

I may have been a virgin before today, but I wasn’t naïve. I had consumed plenty of smut and pleasured myself when the mood struck. I knew what was happening. This wasn’t the emotionless sex we had shared before. And this certainly wasn’t making love. I was being fucked, plain and simple. Raw and animalistic. I didn’t want it any other way.

My first orgasm hit me like a freight train, but Obi-Wan didn’t stop. He couldn’t, he wan’t done, but my pleasure only seemed to motivate him. I was well on my way to my second orgasm when he came inside me. For a moment, I was disappointed, my lust had not been sated, I wasn’t ready for it to end, but he didn’t soften inside me. In fact, he seemed to grow harder. He barely broke pace, still thrusting deep inside me, rutting me hard against the floor.

I didn’t want it to ever stop. I wanted him to go on and on until he filled me with his seed, until my belly ripened and rounded with child, and I wanted it to happen again and again until my childbearing years were spent. If the remainder of my life was to be spent, breeding and birthing, I would die happy. A near endless stream of orgasms washed over me, crashing into me like slow waves on a beach, until I lost all sense of space and time. Nothing else in the galaxy mattered to me except the continuing fucking marathon.

I lost track of time. I lost count of how many times I came or he came. I became an over-sensitive mess of nerves, where even the slightest touch seemed to tip me over the edge, and I was not being touched _slightly_. I loved it and hated it. I wanted it to stop and never end. Our energy was endless, and I thought I might die this way. At some point, I blacked out.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in bed, there were arms around me and the press of a warm body against my naked back. My whole body hurt, every muscle ached, though my vagina felt particularly abused. It took a moment for the wrongness of it all to register, and when it did, I leapt from the bed. I felt something cool and wet ooze from between my legs. The memory of what happened, of what I did, of what I had become hit me suddenly. My stomach lurched and I had to run to my toilet before I vomited.

I was shaking, trembling, what happened last night… it wasn’t me. I wasn’t in control of anything I did once that dew settled onto my skin. I was conscious of my actions, but I couldn’t control myself. I had never lost control like that, not even while blind drunk. With that dew… the memory made me retch all over again. I suppressed a sob and curled up tight around the toilet. I couldn’t go through that again. I would rather have that cold, impassive sex every day for the rest of my life than go through that ever again.

"Are you hurt?" Obi-Wan's voice was low and husky. He stood at the now raised partition with a sheet wrapped around his waist. He was clearly scared, horrified at what we went through.

My whole body ached, but I didn’t blame him for that. He wasn’t in any more control than I was. I shook my head. “No, not hurt… not really.”

"I'm sorry, I don't know what... I couldn't-"

"I know. I couldn't either. I don't blame you."

"I... I'd never..." he went pale and then greenish. I watched him run for his own toilet, but turned my head so he could retch in privacy.

I found my strength again and moved to the shower. Fluids had dried all over me, sticky and itchy. All I wanted to do is wash off as much of the mist’s effects as possible. I turned the water up as hot as I could stand it, and then I turned it a little hotter and got to scrubbing. There was not an inconsiderable amount of cum still inside me, I pressed out what I could and took particular care in cleaning myself. In the back of my mind, I worried that I would never feel clean enough, but when my skin was red and my fingers wrinkled, I turned off the shower, toweled myself dry, and dressed again.

The aliens had provided a clean tunic, waiting folded on my bed. I felt uneasy, wondering when they had entered the cells to clean up my old clothes and soiled sheets. Sometime while we were passed out in Obi-Wan’s bed, I guessed. A meal was waiting in the wall panel. The same bland paste, but this time with a bottle of some sort of juice to drink. I settled down with my back against the partition. A couple minutes later, I felt the glass tremble as another body settled against it.

"We can't do that again," Obi-Wan said heavily. "I can't live with myself if I allow them to control me like that. I can't let them control you like that."

"No," I agree. "Anything would be better than that."

"I'm sorry. I don't know how else to resist, to avoid their wishes."

"You said rescue was coming. We just have to play along until it does. Anything we do... it's for survival. I can't hold it against you." I chewed my lip before admitting, "If we are lucky, we'll only have to go through this a couple times. If that’s any kind of luck to hope for."

Obi-Wan was silent for a long time. "I'm not supposed to father children. It's not allowed for a Jedi."

I smirked, feeling a dark streak of amusement. "My sexual preferences pretty much assured I'd never have kids either. Hard to have kids when you don't want to have sex." An idea struck me. "You think they picked us on purpose? I'm ace as hell and you prefer men."

"I would not put it past them."

"How did they get a Jedi anyway? Are you supposed to have powers or something?"

I didn’t need to see Obi-Wan's wry smile, I could hear it in his voice. "Even we are not infallible. And these aliens... they're not a species I recognize."

“You have a better gauge of that than I do. I spent my whole life on a human colony; we rarely saw anything more exotic than a twi'lek."

"Safe to say, I don't think we are the first set of humans they have studied."

"No, they seem to know what they're doing with us."

The aliens reappeared again outside the glass cage, all four of them again. We both shot to our feet, defensive, and on my part, frightened.

" _You have recovered, you have witnessed what we can make you do. Will there be further resistance?_ "

"No," we replied.

" _The female is fertile for a couple more days. When the partition drops, you will copulate. Any further resistance and refusal will result in the mist being administered. Do you understand?_ "

We do. We both do.

The aliens departed. The partition dropped.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes in the cage, prisoners get to know each other, and new developments arise. A successful experiment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna try for weekly chapter updates on Friday or Saturdays, but I'm not gonna make any promises.
> 
> Additional Content Warnings for this chapter: Depression, Despair, Vomiting, Blood, Medical Trauma, Discussions of miscarriages and infertility.

It surprised me how quickly I adapted to life in captivity. The cell cycled through a day-night cycle, with the ceiling lights shifting from the colors of sunrise to a day-blue sky to sunset and then ten hours of darkness. The aliens at least knew to maintain our circadian rhythm, and to keep us healthy and mentally stimulated. A couple days of good behavior brought us gifts of multifunction datapads. They had a handful of old books loaded up, some basic puzzle games, a blank notepad – which we used to start tallying days – and even a little stylus and drawing function. They designated an exercise time daily when a floor panel slid away to reveal a treadmill and was available for use for a few hours. They fed us three times daily, the same nutritional paste with a rotating selection of water, juice, or tea. Obi-Wan hated the cold tea they served us. Everything we needed the aliens gave us through the meal panels; clean sheets and tunics, fresh bottles of soap and lube. We rarely saw the aliens, most of their communication came over the speakers.

Even the sex became routine. Every four hours they had us mate; they even forced us awake during the night cycle to do so. We agreed that keeping things clinical and impassionate would wear on us psychologically more than either of us could afford, and neither of us wanted to experience that mist ever again. We tried to make the best of a bad situation – if they were going to force us to fuck each other, it could at least be good for us. My body got used to the regular abuse it was put under, I began to enjoy it easier, though we still used lube liberally – I wasn’t enjoying it or anticipating it _that_ much.

We figured either the food had to be drugged, or the chips in our necks were responsible for keeping whatever hormonal treatments they claimed we were under dosed regularly. The aliens were making things easier for us – I tried reminding myself, best of a bad situation. I was adaptable. I had always been good at adjusting to change.

Rescue would be coming, Obi-Wan told me.

The promise of rescue got me through that first handful of days in the cage more than anything else.

We noticed the first day the partition didn’t drop as scheduled.

"Guess this means I'm done ovulating," I concluded grimly. "Three weeks until we have to do it again." Or maybe never, but I doubted I would be so lucky. I was not a lucky person.

The aliens did not drop the partition once during my non-fertile days. I got used to the lack of privacy faster than I thought I would in regards to showering and using the toilet, though we both did what we could to offer what privacy we could afford. I walked a lot on the treadmill when it was present in my cell to burn off the nervous energy. Obi-Wan did more intense exercises than me; he was clearly used to a more active lifestyle and didn’t want to waste away in this cell. He also spent a lot of time meditating. He explained it helped strengthen his connection to the Force, a connection, he was distressed to admit, he barely felt. I assumed the aliens had something to do with that. At this point in my life I was blaming everything on them.

Obi-Wan tried to teach me how to meditate. It didn’t go very well. We were two weeks through my non-fertile time. I should have been starting my period soon, and I was anxious to know if it would even show up.

Otherwise we spent a lot of our time talking, sitting opposite of each other with the partition between us. He had a lot more to talk about than I did; his life was much more interesting.

I had been born _en route_ to the colony I had spent my entire life in. My parents were both miners, hoping to get rich pulling precious metals from the planet’s rocky crust. My mom had died in a mining accident when I was twelve, and my dad passed when I was eighteen from black lung. I decided not to try and earn my living in the mines, having watched them both claim my parents’ lives. At sixteen, I got a job washing dishes in the mining corps commissary, and until the aliens abducted me, I still worked it. The pay was shit compared to the miners, but I didn’t have to worry about cave-ins or long term exposure killing me ten years down the line, so I thought it was a fair trade off.

I liked Obi-Wan’s stories. Life as a Jedi sounded more exciting than a dishwasher’s. He had been to so many places, met so many people. He talked a lot about Anakin, his former apprentice, his comrade-in-arms, usually the reason he got dragged into so many interesting situations. And he talked about Ahsoka, Anakin’s apprentice, how she was shaping up to be a fine Jedi. He talked about the clones, men I had been told to fear, as they were heartless killers, but Obi-Wan spoke of them fondly; his commander Cody, Waxer, and Boil, Rex, Jesse, and Echo.

I discovered that he had an incredible singing voice, though he blushed furiously and denied it when I brought it up. Turnabout was fair though, when he pestered me into admitting that I liked to paint and draw. The datapads we had been given had a sketch function, but I couldn’t produce anything of real quality. I liked landscapes, and there was nothing visible from our cell to get even remotely close to inspiring me to pick up the stylus. I tried drawing home once or twice, the mineral-rich mountains – looking like a painting in their own right – and the deep ocean and jewel-sand beaches, the boxy spread of our pre-fab cityscape, but it hurt too much to get very far. A few times though, Obi-Wan allowed me to make him the subject of some rough sketches. I wasn’t very good at people, but the practice was better than nothing.

We talked about the food we missed, and the first thing we would eat upon being rescued. I was torn between getting my hands on another bottle of that expensive tequila I never got to drink, and a whole basked of ripe, juicy jogan fruit. Obi-Wan knew he would probably go back to military rations, but first chance he got, he was going to visit his favorite noodle shop on Coruscant, or maybe enjoy a steak Togrutan style; warm and bloody.

We lamented together our overgrown hair, and the lack of ability to shave. We talked about the things we missed; sunshine, fresh air, swimming in the ocean, his lover, his friends, a change of scenery. We talked about favorite books and holos and songs. We talked about what we would do first once we were home free. Anything that would help us remember there was more to the world than our glass prison.

I was dismayed to wake up one morning to blood on my sheets and cramps in my belly. I was happy too. At least this meant I hadn’t gotten pregnant because of the mist. The aliens provided me with products to maintain my period and manage my pain – no medication, but a hot water bottle was better than nothing. Even still, I spent most of the week curled up in my bed. I had never had cramps this bad before, I blamed the aliens again.

My empty womb earned us a personal visit from the aliens. They were not disappointed to see my period; they simply informed me that they would be increasing my dose of fertility drugs.

Obi-Wan tried to keep me entertained and distracted from the pain. He once mentioned, trying to be helpful, that the endorphins produced from exercise were supposed to help lessen pain. I told him to see how much he felt like a brisk run with five vibroblades stuck in his gut. He wasn’t _wrong_ , per se, back home I used to exercise past cramp pain all the time, but here it was different. Here it was worse. He did not mention exercise again while my uterus was in protest of being baby-free.

_Fucking_ _uterus_. Whose side was it on anyway?

Time passed and I entered my fertile period again. We faced another five days of sex every four hours. I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to be successful or not. Three weeks of isolation had made me realize how much I missed physical contact with another living being. It didn’t even have to be sexual contact, just the casual touches of shaking someone’s hand or brushing against their shoulder, or knowing, that if I asked, I could receive a hug. When I got pregnant, would the aliens leave the partition up constantly? Would I have to face months of isolation together with Obi-Wan?

I could tell the first time we were allowed back together that he missed touching also, probably more than I did. He spoke of his partner often, though never by name, from what I gathered, he was rather physically affectionate, prone to hugs and casual touches. When he put his arms around me, I could almost feel his desperation for it.

It’s not human to go so long without physical contact. We are, ancestrally, pack creatures. Even introverts like myself still need contact once in a while. Jedi, naturally enhanced empaths, needed it even more.

We reached an agreement to take advantage of the time we were given together. It wasn’t really foreplay or aftercare, but we didn’t rush off to shower after the prescribed mating sessions. The beds were wide enough for us to lie side by side, touching shoulders. Sometimes we talked, sometimes we said nothing. It’s hard to strike up casual conversation with the person who was just forced to mate with you. We didn’t part until the aliens inform us they were raising the partition, then we crossed back to whichever side belonged to us, and we waited.

More time passed, we were separated again, my period came again, heavier and more painful than the time before. The aliens increased my dosage again. That time around, I felt different in the days between my period and fertile time.

All the energy in my body was gone. I felt nothing but a deep apathy and despair. The slightest provocation, small sad thought, or tiny irritation was enough to bring me to tears. I couldn’t explain it. Was it depression? Was it the captivity? Was it the fertility drugs?

In the end it didn’t matter what the cause was. It was there and it wasn’t going away. There were days I went to bed at the beginning of the night cycle and didn’t wake until the next afternoon. There were days when I could barely muster the energy to get up from bed for meals. There were even times when the aliens had to motivate me with a quick shock from the chip in the back of my neck to partake in the next meal as I had skipped or slept through too many to be acceptable.

Obi-Wan tried to comfort me, keep my spirits up, but more often than not his words felt empty and impotent. I could see captivity was wearing on him as well. It had been three months and there was no sign of rescue. It had been three months of fertility drugs, and I still hadn’t gotten pregnant. I began to fear that maybe I was infertile. I wondered how much longer these aliens would wait before disposing of me for a more favorable test subject.

I whispered my fears to Obi-Wan after one of our last breeding sessions of the month. His face was grim but he reassured me rescue was coming. We would be found and taken away from this place.

I tried to believe him.

More often than not, I cried myself to sleep. Obi-Wan winced at my tears, as if my anguish physically pained him. Maybe it did, he had tried explaining the Force to me, and how it should be for him. How he was receptive to my feelings and emotions, beyond normal human empathy, and how strong emotions could have physical consequences for a Jedi. But he also explained how the Force felt so distant to him in this cell, how it was weak, how he felt cut off. He should have been able to free us, to break the glass of our cage and fight his way bare handed through our captors and gotten us away before they could have done anything to us. It wasn’t just my body the aliens were messing with, it was his too. I really fucking hated those aliens.

Then one day, everything changed.

Obi-Wan wouldn’t look directly at me, wouldn’t meet my eye for the entire morning. I didn’t feel quite right, but I hadn’t felt quite right for over a month now. Sleep did little to restore my energy, though I got as much of it as possible. I also had no appetite, though Obi-Wan insisted I had to try and eat lunch. He knew as well as I did that the aliens didn’t like it when I skipped two meals in a row.

I pulled myself from bed, gathering my top sheet around my shoulders. I had a chill and my joints ached, almost like I had a fever. But I had been quarantined for three months, I couldn’t have picked up a cold. Slowly and stiffly, I gathered my bowl of paste, my spoon, and cup of tea. I settled down with a low groan next to Obi-Wan on his side of the partition. Maybe my body was punishing me for not moving much over the last month, maybe I should make an effort to try to move more. Or maybe I could just stay immobile forever on my bed until the aliens dragged me away to dispose of me.

"Have you kept track of the days?"

"No," I admitted quietly. I had slept through more days than I cared to admit over the last couple weeks. Most of my waking hours now happened at night, while Obi-Wan slept, and I stared blankly at the dark ceiling. I had stopped marking days on my datapad shortly after my last period. Adding up the days somehow felt like counting down to my inevitable death in this cage.

"I have. It's already been four weeks."

I froze. A whole month had passed? "That can't be right."

"You are two weeks late. They have not dropped the partition. I think they know too." He sighed and lowered his voice. We had discovered there was a limit to the sensitivity of the alien's listening devices. "I can sense it, the life in you. It’s strong for me to feel it like this."

My mouth ran dry. I lost my appetite. "What do we do?"

He looked grim. "Hope for the best."

A few hours later, the aliens came for me. They entered my half of the cell, slipped a blindfold over my eyes, and carried me away. I was petrified with fear. I could hear Obi-wan shouting after them as they carried me away, beating uselessly on the glass partition.

They poked me, prodded me, drew blood, and did who knew what else. They never removed my blindfold, but they put a lot of focus on my abdomen. They didn’t bother translating as they examined me. I knew nothing until they lifted me up again and deposited me back in my cell.

" _Experimentation has resulted in successful fertilization and implantation. Phase two will begin. The human gestation takes approximately two hundred and eighty days; you have approximately two hundred and fifty remaining_."

My legs went weak, folding beneath me as I leaned against the partition for support. I curled up tight on the floor of my cage. All I could see for the future was being stuck here locked in this cage, a lab animal for these creatures to observe. What would they do with the baby? Would I have to raise it? Would they take it from me and force me into another pregnancy as soon as my body was able?

Something touched me again and I flinched away, smacking at the tentacles, but they persisted. It took me a moment to realize they were hands, and there were arms around me. Obi-Wan had me in his arms, pulled me into his lap, and hugged me tight. He whispered apologies and assurances that I don’t think either of us really believed. I wrapped my arms around him, buried my face in his shoulder and wept.

The partition stayed down for the majority of the day now. We were still separated at night and during meals, but the aliens did not demand we mate while the partition was down, so I assumed this meant they had judged that we did not pose a threat to the integrity of their scientific study. The thought crossed my mind more than once to hurt myself and try to induce a miscarriage, but I couldn’t do it, and I couldn’t ask Obi-wan to. He kept insisting that rescue was coming. I tried to believe him. If we could be free then this baby would be mine. It was unwanted and unplanned, but still mine. And I didn’t know what the aliens would to do me if I miscarried. They could torture me or outright kill me. For now, being pregnant was preferable; at least it meant we no longer had to keep fucking each other.

I adapted poorly to the changes my body went through. I was still drained of energy, though now I had a solid reason for why, and morning sickness took me with a vengeance. Hardly a day went by when I wasn’t vomiting at least twice. Ironically, my mental health seemed to improve. As my hormones changed I felt less crushed by despair and I wasn’t so quick to cry without provocation.

How long that would last, I didn’t know. There was a reason pregnant women were notoriously hormonal and moody, and judging by my experiences thus far I was probably going to have a hell of a time with that down the road.

Obi-Wan did what he could to care for me. He made sure I managed to keep down at least some food every day. He made me get up and take walks on the treadmill, citing again that exercise and endorphins would help me feel better, and as I was not immobilized by pain, I did it. He was right, but I never told him. And every time the baby decided I wasn’t allowed to keep whatever was in my stomach, he was at my side, holding my hair, rubbing my back, and fetching me a cup of water after.

I was grateful for his presence, for his help, for his caring. And even though part of me wanted to blame him for my pregnancy-induced misery, I never did. I couldn’t really. It wasn’t his fault any more than it was mine. If I ever got out of here, I was going to try and murder any alien I came across on my way out. I didn’t know if they had necks, but I would find them and wring them.

I entered a new routine of cell life. Every three days the aliens came and took me, always blindfolded, for tests and examinations. They never hurt me, it was clear they wanted to keep me whole and healthy, but they never explained anything to me either. They never told me if my child was healthy, or if I was doing well, hell if I hadn’t started keeping track of the days again, I wouldn’t have known how far along I was.

Otherwise, life went on in the cage. We did what we could to pass the time. Every day I made another mark on the page of the datapad I had set aside to count the days. I often wondered if it was an exercise in futility.

I began to notice a little swell in my belly near the end of eight weeks, and it only grew bigger week by week. “This can’t be normal,” I fussed, “Should I be showing already?”

The time in the cage and my strictly controlled diet meant I had thinned some over the last several months, but I hadn’t lost that much weight. It shouldn’t be this visible yet.

Slowly, Obi-Wan reached out and put his hand over the bump. His palm was warm, fingers splayed wide. He liked touching me, touching his child. There was something he could sense, even with his Force powers crippled, that comforted him, excited him. He could sense the life in me, feel it more than I could for the time being. I let him touch me when he needed to, though he always went slowly, giving me plenty of time to say no.

"All I can feel is a strong life force," he murmured. "That has to be a good sign." His thumb moved, unconsciously, gently stroking across my belly. I could imagine him doing the same while cradling a newborn, brushing his thumb gently across their cheeks, behind their ears, along their little fists. If he hadn't been a Jedi, he would have been a good father.

Unfortunately, neither Obi-Wan nor I had any frame of reference for what was normal with a pregnancy, or how soon my bump was supposed to show. My tunic still hid it well; it couldn’t be noticed unless I pressed the fabric tight around it, so maybe it was normal. Most people didn’t go around stark naked during their first few months of pregnancy, so clothes probably hid a lot. The aliens seemed pleased, so I took it as a good sign. I assumed they wanted me to produce healthy offspring. Of course, they never answered any of our questions, so I couldn’t be entirely certain what they wanted.

I was entering my twelfth week, when something disrupted the normal silence of our surroundings. In the last six months we had been imprisoned, we hadn’t heard even the slightest ambient sound beyond our glass walls. This new sound I didn’t recognize, it was distant and cacophonous.

"Blasters," Obi-Wan identified.

"Rescue?" The word felt foreign on my tongue. It had been well over a month since either of us had said the word.

"I believe so."

We jumped to our feet just as a small explosion blasted open one of the doors to our isolated prison. Obi-Wan pushed me behind him protectively; we still hadn’t seen who was wielding the blasters and storming the lab. There was an inhuman screech. One of the aliens burst into the room from another hidden door, wielding a weapon of some kind, howling in rage. It charged at someone I couldn’t see. There was a flash and a hum and a thud. The alien fell to the floor, cut unevenly in two.

A man stepped into view, he was wearing dark colored clothes and carried a glowing blue laser sword. Another Jedi, his weapon gave him away. He was followed by a handful of men I had only seen in holos, clones.

“Anakin!”

I recognized the name, Obi-Wan’s former apprentice, his best friend.

Despite the clear worry on the younger man’s face, he still raised an eyebrow and looked over our prison. "I see you have been keeping cozy over the last six months."

I winced at the joking tone of his voice. Would he still laugh when he knew what the two of us had gone through? Anakin’s eyes fell on me, standing half-shielded behind Obi-Wan, gripping his arm tightly. I felt like his icy blue eyes could see right through me. He frowned, furrowed his brow, and then raised his weapon and slashed at the glass wall.

It shattered and fell in a sheet of diamond-like shards, crashing to the floor in a deafening wave. I flinched, expecting at least a few shards to fly past us and cut into my bare skin, but I felt nothing. Anakin waved his hand, clearing a path through the broken glass without actually touching it. We took our very first steps past the perimeter of our cell.

The first thing Anakin did was pull Obi-Wan into a tight hug. A clone with blue eye-shaped marks painted on his helmet helped me down from the cage and lifted me clear of the broken glass.

"Let's get out of here," Anakin said, keeping an arm around Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan didn’t pull away, but he reached back to take my hand, keeping me close as well.

"Do you know how far into Wild Space we had to go to find you? Do you know how long you’ve been gone? The Council actually had to replace you with a substitute. What are you wearing? What the hell is that thing on your neck?" Anakin talked almost nonstop the entire time we were shepherded out of the vast scientific complex. Clones surrounded us in a protective circle, and I could see more of them pushing into the complex with their guns at the ready, though I saw no more of the aliens. We hurried onto a waiting gunship and it ferried us up into space.

The quick change in altitude and then gravity upset my already delicate stomach. I did my best to keep the bile down, but there was no stopping it. I clapped my hands tightly over my mouth in a vain attempt to catch the vomit, but I still end up emptying my stomach partially onto Anakin’s boots. My face burned with embarrassment, I heard muttered comments and exclamations. But Obi-Wan was at my side, the same he had been every time I had been sick over the last two months, he held my hair out of my face and rubbed my back. Someone produced a bucket and I finished retching up the last of my breakfast into it. I felt something twinge in my stomach as the spasms faded, a quick, painful pop. But the pain faded fast, and I forgot about it almost as quickly as I had noticed it.

"Sorry," Anakin muttered, handing over a rag for me to clean my hands and then a bottle of water to rinse my mouth. "That transition is rough if you're not used to it. Didn't think to warn you."

He was at least nice enough to not complain about the vomit on his boots. I cleaned myself up as best as I could, and sat a couple minutes longer with the bucket. I knew better by now to assume that vomiting once meant the end of it. When I felt safe and my stomach as settled as it was going to get, I tried standing up. The gunship lurched and tilted beneath me. I felt suddenly light headed. Was this a pregnancy thing, or a being in space thing?

Arms were around me, lowering me down to sit back on the floor. “Head between your knees,” Obi-Wan instructed gently, with a firm push on my shoulders. “Breathe normally.”

I did as instructed, closing my eyes against the spinning floor beneath my feet. Instinctively, I sought out Obi-Wan’s breathing pattern and tried to match it.

"Is she alright?" A voice asked above my head.

"Not particularly, no."

“I’ll call ahead to sick bay, tell them to expect you.”

I didn’t open my eyes until I felt the ship stop moving. As Obi-Wan and Anakin helped me to my feet, I staggered and lurched unsteadily. My legs could barely support me.

“Don’t try to walk. Let me help.”

My head was spinning too much for me to protest. Obi-Wan put his arms around me and lifted me into a bridal carry. I rested my head against his shoulder. I didn’t care where he took me now. I felt cold, my body was shaking, I couldn’t figure out why.

Obi-Wan took off quickly. Anakin kept pace at his side, watching me, concern clear on his face. “She doesn’t look too good. A little motion sickness wouldn’t make her that pale.”

“It’s not just motion sickness,” Obi-Wan confirmed. “I think she’s going into shock.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

My stomach started to hurt, sharp, deep pains in my belly. “Something’s wrong,” I whimpered.

“I know,” Obi-Wan said back. “You’ll be better soon.”

I thought vaguely, that today was a third day; I was supposed to be examined by the aliens this afternoon. Was I miscarrying? Were the aliens dosing me with something essential to keep the baby alive? Was missing that going to hurt me or the baby?

I was losing touch with reality; drifting in and out like I was caught between dreaming and waking. I was carried into a brightly lit, busy room, both Anakin and Obi-Wan were barking orders. I blinked. I was on a table; several identical faces hovered over me, one called for the surgical droid. I blinked. Someone was placing a mask over my mouth. Obi-Wan stood over me, assuring me that everything would be alright. I closed my eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how you're liking the story! And, while I won't make any promises, I'm not opposed to suggestions for fun or indulgent things to slip into the story down the road. Because, sure, it's my self-indulgent fic, but that doesn't mean it can't be fun for everyone.  
> Also, what are your thought on our MC? I've kinda deliberately kept her descriptions very limited so everyone can kinda paint their own picture of her, but would you rather know what she looked like? And what her name is? I don't usually write first person pov, so this is all a bit of an experiment for me. ~~And as a fic writer of a certain age I'm always low key terrified of creating an "my name is Ebony Dementia Raven Way Black" OC~~


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we enter a new state of reality and avoid some uncomfortable conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA in which the Author realizes a little too late the downside of writing from a limited character POV. Important private conversations end up becoming less private. Oh well, challenges are always fun!

When I opened my eyes again everything was quiet. I felt floaty, almost drunk, but as I blinked myself awake I began to feel more grounded. There was no more pain in my belly. I wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or not. I tried to look, but there as a thick blanket pulled up to my shoulders, and my body didn’t seem to be as awake as my brain. I was lying in a medical bed, partially reclined, but mostly upright. There was noise beside me, and I turned my head. There was a man dressed in white working at a computer console at my bedside, a clone, I realized slowly.

He took notice of me. “She wakes.” He half-smiled and continued before I could open my mouth. “Don’t worry, you’re okay now. You’re safe. Sit tight, I’ll get the generals and explain everything.”

I couldn’t move even if I wanted to. And who were these generals? I didn’t want to talk to anyone else until I saw Obi-Wan again. I heard a quick set of footsteps approaching. I turned my head to meet them. It wasn’t Obi-Wan, but Anakin standing at my bedside. _Right_ , I remembered belatedly, _Jedi were generals._

"Hi, we haven't properly met. I'm Anakin Skywalker." He didn’t offer his hand to shake, but at least he was smiling.

“I’m Kenna.” I felt my cheeks warm. "I remember you. I puked on your shoes."

He laughed, "Not the worst things those boots have stepped through."

"I'm still sorry."

"You were half-way to bleeding to death. I won't hold it against you."

What did he mean ‘bleeding to death’? That made no sense, I hadn’t been cut. "Where's Obi-Wan?"

Anakin's smile fell. "He'll be along soon. You’ve been out for a few hours. He went to get cleaned up."

I didn’t like the look on Anakin’s face. It was guarded and jealous, it scared me. Did he know yet what Obi-Wan and I went through? Or did he just not like the protective way Obi-Wan hovered over me during our escape from the cage. I didn’t have to stretch my imagination much to realize the romantic partner Obi-Wan never mentioned by name, and the best friend Anakin Skywalker were one in the same.

I didn’t have the strength to fight with a jealous lover.

I was saved from any uncomfortable questions by the return of the clone and Obi-Wan. He had changed clothes, dressed in similar styled robes to Anakin, though his were lighter brown, and he’d shaved and trimmed his hair and beard. He looked like he did when we were first stuck in the cage together. He rushed to my side, putting a warm, comforting hand on my shoulder.

“How do you feel?"

"Fine, I guess. No pain." I looked between the Jedi and the medic. Anakin had crossed his arms tightly, staring at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan was looking to the medic, who was looking at me. "What happened?"

The clone explained. "Bleeding in your abdomen, a weak blood vessel, a congenital defect. It could have gone at any time. Your illness on the transport may have strained it enough to burst. You're lucky you were already on the way here. Ten, fifteen minutes later and it would have been a different story."

I swallowed dryly and asked in a tight whisper. "Did it hurt the baby?"

I sensed a sudden increase in tension between the Jedi. They stared at each other, locked in a silent argument.

The clone hardly seemed phased at the intense staring contest. He cleared his throat and continued. “As best we can tell, no, the baby seems fine. But our equipment isn’t really calibrated for that kind of thing. The med droids said you checked out, but without proper scans we can’t be certain. Heartbeat is strong, and your internal bleeding didn’t reach that area. We have the request for the database updates sent out, but it will take time for the data packets to be delivered. We took the liberty of removing that chip on your neck while you were under. You shouldn’t have any lasting effects, but it may leave a scar.”

“That’s fine,” I said, “I can hide a scar.” I noticed that Obi-Wan also had a bandage over the back of his neck where his chip used to be.

The clone paused, checking something on his datapad. His eyes slid between me and the Jedi, and he seemed a little hesitant to continue. “It was pretty deeply embedded; your body had healed around it. Were you also in that prison for the last six months?”

“Yes”

“And do you know how long you’ve been pregnant?”

“Twelve weeks.”

Something snapped in the air above me, not physically, but it was like the static crackle of lightning in a thundercloud. Anakin uttered one sharp, bitter, “Wow.” Then he turned on his heel and stalked off.

Obi-Wan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Ask your last question, Kix.”

The clone looked reluctant to do so, but did. “General Kenobi, are you the father?”

“Yes.”

"You didn't tell him?" I asked Obi-Wan. "You didn't tell him what they did?"

"We have translators working on decrypting the scientists’ files. When all the information is ready, then I will tell him."

"I don't think he can wait that long."

"I don't think he'll believe me without it."

The clone cleared his throat again. "Care to let us in on the secret?"

"Not yet." Obi-Wan turned back to me laying a hand on my shoulder. "Rest, they want to keep you under observation for a little while longer. Then we'll find you permanent quarters."

"Permanent?"

"We're deep in Wild Space, no established hyperspace lanes. It'll take a couple months for us to get back into settled space."

"Wild Space," I echoed, "That's a very far way to go to pick up a couple of stray humans."

"Yes," Obi-Wan smiled ruefully, but fondly. "Anakin has a habit of bending rules and ignoring orders to his benefit. He will have quite some explaining to do when we return to Republic space."

"And what will happen to me? To the baby?"

"I don't know yet. But we have time to figure it out." He squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. "I have to go. If you need anything, Kix will be here." He gestured to the clone.

He left, I was sorry to see him go. Kix stepped forward to take his place at my side. “Your surgery was quick, easily repaired. You’ll be sore for a few days, but we have pain medication you can take. We just want to watch you for a few more hours before we release you. Can I get you anything?”

I wanted a time machine and a magic wand to make it so the last six months never happened, but I figured that was a little out of the clone’s purview. Instead, I wanted a very strong drink, but I think even a clone would know that alcohol and pregnancy don’t mix. "No, I'm just tired."

"Rest then. I'll be nearby if you need me."

I closed my eyes and listened to the background noise of the sick bay. The cage was so silent, soundproofed I assumed, or just isolated. It was strange, but comforting to be somewhere with ambient noise again. I was exhausted, body, mind, and soul; I’m sure there was still some anesthesia working through my system. As I drifted off again, an uneasy feeling settled over me, this one unfortunately familiar. It was obvious that Anakin did not particularly like me right now; him at least I understood. But I was afraid his feelings would be echoed in the clones and whoever else was on board this ship. It was going to be a rough few months getting back to the Republic if I was the outsider on the ship the entire time. At least I had one friend… I hoped.

When I woke up, sick bay was quieter and I felt a little better, more grounded and less drug-haze-dreamy. I saw two people waiting near my bed, talking to each other in low tones; the clone medic, Kix, and a young togruta. Ahsoka, I assumed, Anakin’s apprentice learner; Obi-Wan had mentioned her quite often.

I was warm and cozy beneath the thick blanket, and a little reluctant to move. And then I felt some discomfort that I hadn’t felt last time, pain in my belly, but it was a dull ache. Beneath the blanket, I reached for the point of pain and bandages scraped beneath my fingers. That must have been where they cut into me for the surgery.

Kix and the togruta noticed my stirrings.

"Does it hurt?" The medic asked without preamble. "I'll get you something for the pain."

I tried to tell him it wasn’t so bad, but when I tried to sit up straight the pain became unbearably sharp, taking my breath away for a moment. I laid back against, frozen with pain until he administered something via hypo. The pain faded a couple seconds later and I was able to sit up on my own again.

“Try to take it easy,” Kix ordered gently. “It’s going to take a few days to heal. And it’s going to hurt, so don’t forget you have pain medication.”

“Oh, that won’t be a problem,” I said with a strained smile. “I don’t do well with pain. I’m a certified wimp.”

Kix scoffed a laugh, “Finally, a patient with some sense. That shot’ll probably hold you for a few hours, but I’ll send some pills to your quarters.” His tone then turned serious, ordering. “If they don’t help, or you think anything else might be wrong, either get your ass to a medic or get a medic to you. Get it?”

“Got it.”

“Good.” He turned to the togruta, “Commander?”

“Your orders are noted, Kix.”

He nodded sharply and left, promising to have my pain meds delivered to my room.

The togruta took a moment to introduce herself, I had identified her correctly. "Master Obi-Wan asked me to bring you to your quarters, if you want to go. Kix and the surgical droid say you're clear, and it'll be more comfortable, and quiet."

"I'd like that." I thrilled at the prospect of an entirely private room. Someplace I could close everyone out and have real solitude and privacy again.

I realize as Ahsoka helped me off the medical bed that my clothes had been changed. I was no longer in that stupid gray tunic. It had been traded for a pair of soft black pants and a plain white shirt, both several sizes too large for me, but the pants had a drawstring that kept them snug against my hips.

Men's clothing, probably meant to fit the clones, but I relished the sheer enjoyment of wearing pants again. And socks! My feet have been slipped into a large pair of black socks with rubber grips on the bottom. The fact that somebody else, some stranger, had seen me naked, stripped me of my clothes, and replaced them with new ones didn’t bother me nearly as much as it would have six months ago.

"We're working on getting you some better fitting clothes soon," Ahsoka commented as she led me out of sick bay. “We didn’t realize there would be anyone else imprisoned with Master Obi-Wan, and we don’t really keep women’s clothes lying around. Well… except for mine, but I don’t think we’re the same size.”

No, we weren’t, I agreed. Ahsoka had to still be pretty young, and her clothes looked to be a little too tailored to accommodate my thirty-year-old hips and bust. Never mind that I was going to need something much less form-fitting in the coming months anyway.

As we walked, Ahsoka talked about the ship we were on – Republic Star Destroyer _Resolute_ , Anakin’s flagship, and her home for the last couple years.

I had never been on a battleship before. Hell, I hadn’t really been on any ship before, and to be on a huge, functioning battleship was enough to make my mouth dry with wonder. The identical corridors felt like a maze, but Ahsoka led me confidently, gently guiding me with a hand resting on my arm. It felt like a light, comforting gesture, but I was certain that if I stumbled or weakened, she would be ready to support me. Jedi reflexes were fast; Obi-Wan had certainly proven that when sudden bouts of nausea hit me back in the cage.

"Here we are!" Ahsoka announced brightly, stopping before an unmarked door that was completely identical to every other door up and down the corridor. A pit formed in my stomach, and I thought, _I’ll never be able to leave this room, I’ll never find my way back._

Ahsoka led me inside. The room was a little small, brightly lit, and freshly cleaned by the smell of it. There was a single bunk set into an alcove in the wall, a tiny metal desk and chair, and best of all, my own personal ‘fresher. It was cramped, with a sink, toilet and sonic shower squeezed into a closet, but it had walls and a door that closed. It was perfect.

"My room is next door, and Master Obi-Wan's and Anakin’s rooms are across the hallway." Ahsoka explained, "We'll be close if you need anything."

I checked out the bed. The mattress was thin, but soft, a lot like the mattress on my bed in the cage. The sheets were nicer, though, and the blanket thicker. I expected I would need that; the ship was a lot colder than the balmy temperature the aliens kept the cage at.

I only realized Ahsoka asked me a question when I caught her expectant stare. “I’m sorry, what?”

"Can I get you anything?" She seemed unperturbed repeating herself, as if she was used to talking to an easily distracted person.

I shook my head. I thought that I would have wanted to shut myself up in my own room for a little bit and just enjoy the solitude for a while, but I found myself feeling energetic, excited. “Do you have anywhere else you need to be?”

“No, not really.”

“Would you mind showing me around some more? It’s been so long since I’ve been able to stretch my legs.”

She grinned, showing sharp canines. “Sure!”

We stepped back out into the hallway and she led me off down the corridor. “I’ll show you the observation deck. There’s not much to see no, while we’re in hyperspace, but it’s a nice place. I like to meditate there.”

“I’d give anything to look out a window again,” I said with a wistful sigh. “It’s incredible the things you miss when you spend six months in a cage.”

"You've been through a lot, huh?" Her words were carefully measured, probing but I couldn’t blame her for her curiosity.

I slowed my steps a little, looking the girl over. "Did you see anything down there?"

"Not where they found you, my team found the archives."

"And did you read any of those?" Ahsoka was still young. I didn’t know how much she might understand about what happened in that cage, and I wasn’t going to go into detail. If her mentor wanted to explain it, that was Anakin’s prerogative.

"I was asked not to assist with translating the files. They gave it to droids to handle."

I nodded. How tightly under wraps were the Jedi planning on keeping this? Was it only a matter of time before the situation was explained? Or would they slap a gag order over it and let us go on our merry way once we reached Republic Space?

“Then I’m not the one to ask about it. Not yet,” I told Ahsoka, though I felt like she was dying to know everything. “Tell me about your side of the story. I heard it took the whole six months to find us.”

Disappointed, but still eager to share, Ahsoka launched into her story of their intrepid hunt for Obi-Wan in the deep wilds of space. It included fighting bounty hunters and pirates, and calling in a favor from a Chiss with a stick up his ass and a delightfully unpronouncable name, and several weeks of interminable boredom as they navigated through Wild Space. She glossed over a few incidents that made the weeks of interminable boredom sound less boring and more death-defying, but I didn’t interrupt.

"We didn't know they had taken anybody else, we thought they took him because of the war or Jedi business, because he was important. Is that why they took you too?"

“No, I don’t know why they took me, other than maybe because I was convenient. Maybe because they knew I wouldn’t be missed.”

Ahsoka frowned, but didn’t press the subject. “The observation deck’s just up ahead.”

We both slowed to a stop just outside the open doorway. There were people in the room having a rather heated conversation.

“Anakin, it’s not what it looks like!”

“Oh I’m sorry, I must misunderstand basic biology. You’re telling me the person you spent six months locked up in a cage with is pregnant with your baby, _not_ because you got bored and slept with her?”

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“Is it really? I don’t see why it’s so fucking hard to explain, or why you insist on stalling and waiting for the translations to come through.”

“Because I don’t think you’ll believe me without proof.”

“Try me.”

I grabbed Ahsoka by the arm and dragged her away from the room as quickly and quietly as I could manage. “Let’s go.”

She followed quietly until we were well clear of the observation deck. “Wait,” she said, pulling us to a stop. “Was that true?”

“Which part?”

“About the baby?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh... But Jedi aren’t supposed to-“

“So I’ve been told. That doesn’t change anything, though.”

We started walking again back to my room. I was suddenly very tired, and very much wanted to hide away from the world. We barely talked the rest of the way, other than Ahsoka giving directions. We parted at my door. I thanked her for the tour and closed the door behind me.

I looked over my little room again. The promised pain medications had been delivered and were waiting on my desk. I was still feeling fine from the shot, so I left them there and sat heavily in the desk chair.

My body was so tired, my soul was exhausted. I hadn’t felt this bad since before I conceived, since my body was flooded with drugs and hormones and who knew what else. I wanted to crawl into bed and pretend I didn’t exist for a few hours, but there was something else I wanted to take care of first.

I went to the ‘fresher, and scraped a modicum of joy out of the fact that I could close the door behind me. I felt gross, in desperate need of a shower and toothbrushing. The shower was sonic, and, as such, things like soap and shampoo were unnecessary. I understood that in theory, the soundwaves blasted off all of the dirt, grime, and oils better and more gently than soap and water would, but I found the experience lacking. I liked the feeling of water on my skin. Not having to dry my hair was an added benefit, though. The sink, at least, produced a good stream of water, so I was able to wash my face and brush my teeth.

Properly cleaned, I took the first look at myself in the mirror that I’d had in six months. My hair had grown quite a bit and was in need of a trim. My face was thinner, as was my body, except for the little roundness between my hips. My hazel-gray eyes were… gaunt. I recognized the expression staring back at me. The empty-eyed resignation of a miner who knew they were dying, but would keep returning to the mines every day to make sure their family was fed.

Six months of imprisonment and torture would give any person that look. Hopefully the Jedi could direct me to a good therapist when we got back to civilization.

The shower helped me feel a little more human, but I was still tired. It had only been about an hour between leaving sick bay and now, but what else could I do. Given all I had been through, I don’t think my mind or body knew what else to do but shut down. I was recovering from surgery, and pregnant, and dealing with everything else. Right now if my body wanted sleep, I would sleep. Alone. In my own, private room. That thought was enough to make me almost smile.

I crawled into bed and took a minute to arrange the covers around me and settle into a comfortable position. A terrifying thought took root in my mind as I stared into the darkness of my room.

This felt like a dream, broken bits of time separated by hours of unconsciousness. Rescue by Jedi was almost too good to be true. Maybe I had imagined this whole rescue. Maybe the blood vessel burst in my gut and the aliens took me and healed me, but I hadn’t been taken back to the cage. Maybe this was all a drug-induced hallucination.

Tears crawled from my eyes as I squeezed them shut and pulled the blanket up over my head. I didn’t want this to be a dream, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was. From day one, I had a feeling I would die in that cage.

I woke up back in the cage, the midday lights were on, the ceiling a blue mockery of the sky. I was naked on my bed. My belly hurt, but there were no bandages, no surgical scars. The little swell in my abdomen was gone.

The alien voice crackled over the speakers. " _Your gestation proved nonviable. You are entering your fertile period. You will begin mating again._ "

My heart lurched painfully. The baby didn’t survive, I had lost my child. And I had to start all over again now. It had been three months since they had last forced us together. I couldn’t do it! Not again and again until they decided I was no good as a test subject. But what choice did I have? If I refused, they would just use that mist again, and I couldn’t bear the thought of being so out of control like that again.

"No!" I flinched as Obi-Wan shouted. He had never raised his voice like that. "I won't! Give her some time for pity's sake!"

The partition had not dropped yet. This was the first time either of us had refused since our first day, since the mist. I wanted to tell him to stop fighting, it was okay, I would be okay, but the words stuck in my throat. I wasn’t sure if I heard the hiss or imagined it as that damned mist descended upon Obi-Wan, and only Obi-Wan.

Was this something new? Were they not misting me because I wasn’t vocally protesting? Or were they punishing me for failing?

It would be worse this time; Obi-Wan under the influence of the mist and myself stone cold sober. It would be terrible for the both of us. The partition was still up. I could see the mist taking effect. Obi-Wan had retreated to the farthest possible corner of his cell, but I could see him slowly slipping away. There was less of him in his face, in his eyes, less control, less humanity. The animalistic demeanor set in, my heart ramped up fearfully. He began pacing, throwing himself back and forth along the partition, he was practically drooling over me. With a soft, mechanical whir, the partition dropped. I froze in fear, I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. My mouth opened, I felt my vocal chords move, but I heard nothing. He threw himself at me, tackled me and pinned me to the bed. I squeezed my eyes shut.

Someone grabbed my arms, shaking me and calling my name. I opened my eyes and saw a face looming over me. My limbs unfroze, my instincts kicked in, I struck out and pushed away. The hands released me and the body stepped away. I backed into a solid wall, and in my panic lurched forward and fell off the bed. My knees and my body screamed in pain as I crashed against the cold metal floor. Gray metal, not white tile. My brain struggled to put the right pieces together, figure out what was dream and what was reality. The hands came back around my shoulders; the body came close to me.

They were not Obi-Wan’s hands, once of them was covered by a black glove.

"I'm sorry, you were screaming in your sleep."

I reached up and gripped the ungloved hand on my left shoulder, it was warm and solid. "You're real." I said, mostly to assure myself. Every moment that passed, I became more cognizant. The hand belonged to a face, which solidified into an identity. Anakin.

"You're real. This is real." I gasped, slowly catching my breath. My heart rate began to slow. I sat on the floor, still too shaken to try standing. Anakin sat beside me. I didn’t let go of his wrist, the pulse beneath my fingers assured me of reality.

"You're not _there_ ," he assured me quietly. "You're on board the _Resolute_. That place is a hundred lightyears behind you."

I curled up tight, drawing my legs to my chest. My abdomen hurt, but the pain helped me remember what was real. I could feel the bandage scratch against my skin, the pull of tape, the press of the little swell against my thighs. I still had the baby.

Anakin shifted, scooting a little closet to me. He cleared his throat gently and said, with a wiggle of his fingers, "You're cutting off circulation."

I muttered an apology and forced my fingers to release their vice grip. My heart pounded at the lack of contact. A sudden strike of fear told me that without human contact I would wake up again and cycle through this reality and nightmares of the cage until I couldn’t remember which was which. Wordlessly, Anakin offered his other hand, his gloved hand. I took it and something much harder than flesh and bone supported my hand.

"A prosthetic," he explained, "can't cut off circulation in this one."

A silence fell between us. I was glad it was Anakin who woke me, not Obi-Wan. After my nightmare, I wasn’t sure if I could have trusted him, trusted his reality. Anakin’s was a face I had never seen, a person I couldn’t imagine. If he was around I was certain of reality. My stomach clenched painfully at the memory of my dream. The details were already fading, but I would probably never fully forget the worst parts – they were, after all, events I had lived over and over again.

"They really messed you up in that cage, huh?"

“Did he tell you what they did to us?"

"Yeah."

That was enough. He didn’t ask questions. He didn’t demand answers.

I leaned against his side. He put an arm around my shoulders. I could hear his heart beating; I matched the rhythm of his breath. I felt the need to apologize to him, but I didn’t think he would let me.

We stayed like that for a long time, not speaking, hardly moving. I wondered how Anakin knew to wake me from my nightmare. It occurred to me that he had probably been watching me sleep. I thought this would unnerve me, but I found it strangely comforting. I had been a long time since somebody else cared about me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost missed that weekend deadline, but Sundays still count. Also, for a head's up, I know I'm not going to have the next chapter up next weekend because Halloween, and other projects I need to focus on next week. So I'll see you again in two!  
> Also, also, y'all are so nice <3 Thank you for the encouragement last chapter! (Honestly, there are still times when I'm so amazed anyone is reading this because I thought it would be a little too niche and self-indulgent, but apparently not)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added a couple new tags, jsyk, but they can mostly be summed up with "Canon timeline, events, and deaths? I don't know her." and "playing fast and loose with non-canon mandalorian stuff" *finger guns*
> 
> Also, sorry for the delay. I was fully expecting this chapter to be ready by last weekend, but I don't think anyone was expecting Nov 1 - Nov 7 to be truly _that_ insane and yeah... I wrote nothing that week.

I adjusted to the ship much in the same way I adjusted to life in the cell – with nowhere else to go, there really wasn’t any other choice but to adapt. Granted the Jedi ship was a _vast_ improvement from the cell. I even figured out how to navigate the maze-like corridors. I learned the logic of the floorplans, and grew somewhat confident about the route between my room and sick bay or the mess hall. And in the case I got a little turned around, there was usually somebody there to point me in the right direction. The Jedi made no effort to disguise the fact they were keeping an eye on me, and on the rare occasions they weren’t around to guide me, the clones were everywhere. I was beginning to learn to identify clones by the marks they chose to identify themselves, but it wasn’t easy. I had always been bad with names and their identical faces didn’t help.

It felt so strange to not see Obi-Wan every moment of every day, to not have him somewhere in my eye line at all time. His absence comforted me, reminding me that I was free of the cell, and it distressed me, I had gotten so used to him being there. He wasn’t avoiding me, and I wasn’t avoiding him. He was just slipping back into the routine of being a Jedi and General aboard an active warship. He had missed so much during our captivity; battles, casualties, wins and losses. There were things I couldn’t know about the military workings of the warship, things I didn’t want to know anyway. I wanted no part of the war; I just wanted to go home. If I even could anymore.

It took a couple days for the data collected from the aliens to be translated by the droids, but when they did, Obi-Wan, Anakin, and I sat down to comb through it. There hadn’t been any other captives in the complex, though there were facilities for that; the other cages had been empty. There were records that confirmed our suspicions that we had not been the first pair of humans they had collected and experimented on. Almost a hundred years’ worth of data had been recorded, various experiments on humans, learning everything these aliens could know about us, and fortunately, not just experiments on reproduction. We didn’t know where they could have gotten such a steady source of humans to experiment on. Scans showed there wasn’t a human population on the alien’s planet. And they were too distant from charted space to make harvesting from Republic planets viable. Maybe that was why their experiments had become less frequent, less numerous over the last few decades.

“Well, if we can say anything about those creatures, they were very thorough,” Anakin grumbled, scanning lazily over a datapad in his hands.

I hummed in agreement. I was paging through my own datapad, notes gathered during a study run several decades ago. Every minute detail of the test subject’s behavior in the cage was noted. It made for very boring reading. I suspected the notes on our captivity had been just as boring to observe, and I hoped, with a stab of ire, that whoever had been watching us had been bored out of their mind while doing so.

“Ah, this looks familiar,” Obi-Wan said with mild interest. “I believe this is their study parameters for our captivity.” He scanned the document, a stormy look on his face grew darker as he read. Then he slammed the datapad down on the table, hiding the screen.

I startled and felt a sudden flash of anger in my chest mixed with morbid curiosity. “Let me see.” I reached for the datapad.

He pulled it out of my reach. “No. You don’t want to read this.”

I frowned at him, irritated. “How bad can it be? We lived the damn experiment.”

“Trust me. You don’t want to know.”

I felt sick, disgusted, angry and protective. I stood up and tried to make a grab for the datapad again. Anakin plucked it from Obi-Wan’s hands.

“C’mon, it can’t be that bad, can it?” the younger Jedi asked.

“Anakin, don’t!” Obi-Wan made a grab, but he wasn’t fast enough to take the datapad back.

Anakin’s face went stormy as he read. “Shit,” he hissed.

I was able to grab the datapad, but he did not let it go.

“Don’t keep this from me!” I snapped. “You have no right! I was in that fucking cage too.”

“All right,” Obi-wan placed a hand on my wrist, stilling my tug-of-war. “You’re right, you have the right to know, but I really think you won’t want to. You have enough to deal with without _that_ weighing on your mind.”

“What is it?”

“It’s what they were going to do to the baby.”

I felt like someone had slipped an ice cube down my back. A dozen worst-case scenarios jumped into my brain, because it had to be the worst possible thing for it to shake the Jedi so badly.

“Is it really that bad?”

“Monstrous,” Anakin muttered.

I let go of the datapad. I had enough nightmares to contend with. I didn’t need what would have been my child’s inevitable future joining the mix.

Obi-Wan took back the offending datapad and gathered up the others. “I think the best course of action would be to encrypt the data and send it to the Temple. Lock it up and send it off so it can’t be read again until… until the wounds are a little less raw.”

That sounded like a good plan. If the data remained within reach I would probably ruin my day and my delicately recovering mental health by prying into something I could do without. If it was gone, at least the temptation would go with it, though that probably wouldn’t stop me from guessing what terrible thing the aliens had planned for me and the baby.

“A couple more days, we should be back in a spot that let us get a weak communication signal,” Anakin suggested. “We can send it out then, and get that medical database upgrade, provided master Tapal’s fleet hasn’t moved very far.”

It was an acceptable plan. I suddenly felt very tired, empty and emotionally drained. I heaved a long sigh, suddenly wanting to be anywhere but here. I moved to the door. “I’m gonna go do… I dunno, something."

“Kenna.”

I stopped in the doorway, looking over my shoulder. Obi-Wan had moved to follow me. “Are you feeling okay?”

I shrugged. Physically, I was almost completely recovered from my surgery a few days ago, and settling back into a normal daily rhythm, and even my persistent nausea was kept at bay most of the time. Mentally… that varied by the hour. I didn’t see the point in lying to Obi-Wan; he was probably more keyed into my emotions now than ever in the cage. “Eh, not really but…” I shrugged again. “I’m either going to go take a nap or find a distraction, so…”

He let me go reluctantly. I pointedly avoided catching Anakin’s eyes, but felt the cold weight of his stare anyway. The silence between the three of us was almost oppressive, and I was happy to hear the door close behind my back. I started walking towards my room, not really feeling like a nap, but coming up blank on anything else that might provide a suitable distraction.

I had just reached my bedroom door when I heard somebody call my name, and Ahsoka jogged up to me with two clones in tow. Jesse and Hardcase, I thought. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

I held back a sigh and turned to the young togruta. “Did Obi-Wan send you after me?”

“What? No. Why? Should he have?”

“No not really. What do you need?”

“I was thinking, if you have nothing else going on, that you might like to help us dispose of some defective grenades.”

I blinked at her, not entirely sure I heard her right. “I’m sorry, what?”

One of the clones, Jesse I was certain, stepped in, “We found a few pallets of defective ordinances that need to be disposed of properly.”

“And by ‘disposed of’ you mean…”

“We’re gonna shove them out the airlock and blow them up in space.”

Ahsoka grinned devilishly. “You in? It’ll be fun.”

I considered it for half a second, shrugged and said, “Sure. What the hell, let’s blow some shit up.”

We went down to one of the hangar bays where there was a small gathering of clones, and about half a dozen pallets filled with crates of what I assumed were the defective explosives. They were loading up the last few crates, handling them with familiar care. Growing up in a mining colony, you learned to treat all explosives as if they might go off – I suspected clones had been trained similarly.

One clone seemed to be in charge – Rex, more recognizable with his blonde hair than his brothers – and he turned to face our arrival with only the slightest hint of disapproval on his face. “You know this isn’t supposed to be a spectator event.”

“Who says we’re spectators,” Ahsoka chimed in with a grin, looping her arm around mine. “We’re active participants.”

Rex breathed a laugh and hid an eye roll by consulting his datapad. “Whatever you say, Commander.”

As final preparations were made, Ahsoka explained. Each pallet of crated has a remotely detonated bomb inside, and once the pallets were safely out in space and away from the ship, they would be set off, and _Boom!_ No more defective grenades.

The loaded pallets were pushed into the airlock. We gathered around a wide bay window. From there I could see the pallets of crates shoot out into the vacuum of space, propelled far away from the ship. Rex tracked the distance on his datapad, and when they were into the safe zone, he handed the detonator over to Ahsoka. “Commander, you won first go at it.”

Ahsoka grinned and pressed the button. Outside the window I saw one of the crates explode into a bright starburst of gold, white and blue flame, before dissipating quickly. Like fireworks, though I couldn’t hear or feel the explosion. It still gave me a thrill. Blowing shit up was always fun.

The other crates went in succession, I picked up that there had been some kind of lottery or betting pool that had gone on prior to this, granting different people the right to blow up their own pallet of grenades.

I blinked in surprise when the detonator was offered to me.

“Last one’s yours, _ik’aad’buir_ ,” Hardcase offered.

I thought he was joking, but he insisted. I took the detonator and scanned the debris field for the last crate of explosives. It was little more than a small gray spot against the black emptiness, but once I had my eye on it, I put my thumb down on the detonator. A smile turned on my lips as I watched the small gray spot turn into a starburst of white and blue and gold. I tracked a particularly brilliant piece of shrapnel as it flew away like a shooting star.

The starburst faded from existence, but my smile stayed on. The explosions reminded me of warm summer nights watching fireworks on the beach… and significantly less legal but infinitely more fun explosions from my youth.

I handed back the detonator, and Ahsoka quickly sidled up to me, throwing her arm around my shoulders. “Told you it would be fun.”

“Blowing shit up is always fun.” I laughed and reciprocated her side hug. “Not that I’m encouraging you to blow up anything else, but let me tell you about the ‘ _fireworks shows’_ my friends would put on when we were your age.”

I wasn’t entirely sure how, but Ahsoka managed to keep pulling stories of growing up on a mining colony out of me for most of the afternoon. By the time we joined the other Jedi for dinner, I was telling her about the winter swims my colony put on – endurance challenges, we all chipped in the entrance fee and whoever lasted longest swimming in the frigid ocean won the pot. I participated every year, but I never won, I could only ever last a couple minutes in the icy water before my teeth were chattering and my fingers were going blue. But it was a perfectly good excuse to take a day off work and spend the remainder of the day curled up warm and cozy at home.

By that point, Anakin had heard enough to be _deeply_ affronted that I, or anyone else, would voluntarily choose to swim in frigid ocean waters. Not for all the credits in the Republic, he insisted vehemently, would he ever volunteer for something like that.

Obi-Wan informed me, in an entirely unsubtle undertone, that Anakin was from a dessert planet, and as such, detested all things cold and wet.

“And sandy,” Ahsoka chimed in.

That earned her a not entirely playful shove from Anakin, which set the two of them off into a fit of master-padawan bickering that I was quickly learning was normal for the two of them.

“I guess that means a trip to the beach is off the table when you get me home,” I joked. But after the laughter a heavy thought settled into my heart again, and I felt a deep longing for home again.

Before I could sink too deeply into my homesickness, I felt a hand on my back. “You’ll get home again,” Obi-Wan muttered to me. “I promise.”

I flashed him a grateful smile.

Across the table, Anakin and Ahsoka continued arguing. They had moved onto antagonizing each other over various disastrous landings they had been subjected to at the hands of the other’s flying skills. Along with Obi-Wan, I breathed a laugh, shook my head, and waited for them to run out of steam.

After dinner, the Jedi went off to do Jedi things, and I was left to my own devices again. I returned to my room to grab something. I had been given another basic-function recreational datapad, sketch pad and everything included, but I hadn’t really been in much of a mood to try anything since getting back on the ship. But now… maybe I could get something out. I was holding the image of the grenade starbursts in my mind. They had painted a pretty picture. I made my way to the observation deck – it had some comfortable benches, and while we weren’t in hyperspace the view was pretty nice.

I slowed to a stop again as I approached the open doorway.

I heard voices in the observation deck, low and thrumming with energy, emotion. Anakin and Obi-Wan were having a discussion, and I had a feeling I didn't want to interrupt. They really needed to find a better place to hold private conversations.

I was going to turn around and leave them to privacy, but I heard my name. I froze and strained my ears to listen.

“… looked pretty cozy at dinner. And earlier today…”

“What are you trying to ask, Anakin?”

“Do you love her?"

"No."

"Liar."

"Not like that, Anakin." He explained quickly. "You don't go through what we went through without forming some kind of bond. The fact that she's carrying my... my child strengthens that. But I care for her like a friend or a sister. It's complicated. People don't often father a child with someone they don't love, don't have some sort of feelings for, and stick around." Then Obi-Wan's voice grew mildly reproachful. "It's not like you don't have your own baggage to return to."

Anakin grew defensive. "Padmé and I never had children."

"You were still married. You can't tell me you don't have some kind of feelings for her still, even if you're no longer together romantically. By the time we get back to Coruscant you wouldn’t have seen her for over a year. How would you feel if you discovered she had your child?"

Anakin was quiet for a long minute. I could hear his boots drumming across the floor, a steady, even tempo beat.

"Would you go back to her?" Obi-Wan prompted gently.

"No. Padmé and I ... we're over. There would be nothing to go back to, even for a child. We are better, healthier apart."

"And I believe you. I love you, Anakin. Do you think I would leave you for someone who doesn't even want a relationship like that? Would I do that to you? Or to her?"

Anakin's drumming footsteps stopped. "No, I know you wouldn't."

"We are friends, complicated as it is after our shared experiences, still just friends. There was never anything romantic or even sexual between the two of us. I feel for her, but any affection is platonic."

I felt a rush of relief. Even thought I was almost certain of it, a part of me feared that our captivity might have forged a different kind of bond in Obi-Wan than I felt. That was the last thing I wanted. A friendship, sure, some kind of co-parent relationship with our baby, most likely, but a relationship… no thanks.

Anakin though… he confused me. One minute he was acting protective, friendly, or helpful, and the next he was regarding me with thinly veiled jealousy. This whole situation was difficult to come to terms with. On the surface I knew he understood, but clearly he was still grappling with his jealousy and possessiveness. I couldn’t really blame him; Obi-Wan had been stolen from him for six months, and when he did get him back, I came along as did the baby. Everything was complicated.

Maybe I needed to have a talk with Anakin too.

As it turned out, Anakin beat me to the chase the next morning. I had _finally_ found the observation deck empty, and after a night of mostly restful sleep, I still felt inspired to do a little sketching. We were back in hyperspace, so there wasn’t anything to see outside, but I was getting a good warm up doodling starbursts and fireworks on a blank page.

I caught movement in the corner of my eye, and looked up to see the reflection of someone tall standing in the open doorway on one of the windows. I said nothing, but I stopped drawing.

Having been caught lurking in the doorway, Anakin stepped fully into the room but not over to me.

I set aside my datapad and spun around on the bench to face him. He had something hidden behind his back. “Can I help you?”

“You drawing?”

I shrugged. “Doodling. Just warm ups.”

He nodded, “Obi-Wan mentioned that you liked to paint, and well… here.” He produced from behind his back a much larger datapad. I recognized the model, it was meant for artists, a much larger screen, a more sensitive stylus, more advanced design tools. I had had one similar to it back home; though by this point I was certain it had been pawned by my landlord.

“Thank you…?” I took the datapad. It wasn’t the latest model, but still relatively new.

Anakin scratched at the back of his head. “I thought it would get more use from you than it has from me.”

I fixed him with a curious look. “You draw?”

His cheeks went a little pink, but he nodded. “Haven’t done much since the war, but…”

I found the file folders on the datapad screen, Anakin hadn’t moved his works to an external datachip, but I still asked before opening the files. “Can I see?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Anakin was much better at drawing people than I was. He had a handful of sketched landscapes, architecture, even animals and droids, but most of his pieces were drawings of people; clones, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, other people of varying races and species. But is favorite subject seemed to be a human woman I didn’t recognize. She was very pretty, delicately featured, long curly hair.

“These are all wonderful,” I told him. And then, because I couldn’t help but pry, I pointed to a particularly detailed drawing of the curly-haired woman in a soft, flowing gown. “You draw her a lot. Is that Padmé?”

He stiffened and asked quickly, defensively. “Who told you about Padmé?”

I put just a little tease into my voice when I said, “You and Obi-Wan really need to find a better place to have private conversations. Anyone could walk in on you here in the observation deck.”

He sighed, and looked more than a little chagrined. “You overheard us talking last night?”

“Yeah, and it wasn’t the first time. It’s how Ahsoka found out about the baby.”

Anakin sighed again. “I thought she took that news a little too well.” He finally dropped into the seat beside me. “Sorry if you… overheard anything that might have sounded a bit…”

“Anything I heard I don’t think warrants an apology. You’re allowed to be just as confused and mixed up as the rest of us.”

Anakin muttered something unintelligible under his breath.

I made sure he was meeting my eyes before saying, “Does it help to hear from my own mouth that I’m ace as hell?” Anakin half shrugged, but looked more open. I continued with a small smile. “I really don’t want anything from Obi-Wan, not in the way most people do. Though, he did promise to give me back massages when the baby gets bigger. So I want him for that. And he does give really good hugs.”

That coaxed an almost smile to Anakin’s face. “You’re not wrong there.” His smile faded and he went silent for a long moment.

Feeling bold, and not entirely closed off from conversation, I nudged him and asked, “So who is Padmé? She’s obviously special, you drew her a lot.”

He drew a long breath and began to explain, “Padmé is my ex-wife…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mando'a translation:  
> ik'aad = baby  
> buir = parent, mother/father  
> ik'aad'buir = baby mamma
> 
> See you next week!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resolute stops someplace they can receive transmissions from the Republic, Kenna and Obi-Wan speak to the Jedi Council.

“Try drinking some of this. The mint and ginger should help settle your stomach.”

I mumbled some thanks and gave the aromatic tea a cautious sip. It tasted fine and the smell didn’t immediately make me want to vomit, so that was a marked improvement from everything else I had tried this morning. I took a few more sips before closing my eyes and resting my head back against the cool wall of my bed alcove.

“Has the medicine Kix gave you kicked in yet?” Obi-Wan laid a warm hand across my clammy forehead. My head pulsed and pounded beneath his touch in sharp migraine waves. I must have winced, because he withdrew his hand quickly.

“Not yet, but he said it might take a while.” Despite talking in a low whisper, my voice still hurt my head. I was in a special kind of misery, with my morning sickness flaring up after a pretty decent week, a migraine, and the stress of knowing what was coming later all mixing together into one particularly potent soup of torture. Med bay had been quick to dispense the medications that would eliminate most of my problems, but it would take at least an hour to go fully into effect. So until then, I was trying to pretend I didn’t exist in my dark room, while also being tended to by one doting Jedi who wouldn't abandon me to my misery.

Any other day, I could have gone back to bed and slept through my migraine. Today I could not. I had to be a functioning human being soon.

I winced as my bedroom door slid open, the normally unnoticeable grinding noise drilling directly into my brain. Soft footsteps pounded in my ears, the gentle clicking of her lightsaber on her belt sounded like clashing boulders.

“I brought the icepack,” Ahsoka whispered. She may as well have shouted.

“Thank you, Ahsoka. Any word from Anakin?”

“Still searching for a signal, but he said he would come get you when we connected. How’re you feeling, Kenna?”

I cracked an eye open and managed to lift my mouth into a half smile. “Death would be a relief.”

She frowned at me.

“That’s normal for a migraine,” Obi-Wan explained, handing me the icepack.

“Sure is.” The icepack was a cold gel in a soft, cloth-lined casing. I pressed it over my forehead and pounding eyes, and sighed in relief as the cool gel molded to the shape of my face and pushed the splitting pain away a little.

Despite my covered and closed eyes, I knew Ahsoka winced before she said, “I hope I never get one.”

“Lucky for you, togrutas aren’t as susceptible to them as humans are. Go let Anakin know we’ll be here, and to send for us when the coms connect.”

“Yes, Master.” Ahsoka’s steps pounded away, my door ground open and closed and set my teeth on edge, and then the room was almost silent again.

“Does the cold pack help?”

“A little bit, yeah.” The stabbing pain in my head was beginning to dull, but it was still miserable.

“I have one more trick to try, if you feel up to it. Will touch help or hurt?”

“It might help.” Touch had never been one of my migraine sensitivities before. “Wouldn’t hurt to try.”

“Let me sit behind you.”

We took a moment to arrange on my bed, until he was leaning against the wall, and I was between his legs. It had felt a little strange, but more comforting to be close like this. In the week since our rescue we hadn’t really touched more than hands on shoulders. I bowed my head, holding the icepack to my eyes as his thumbs pressed firmly into the back of my neck. He massaged at the base of my skull and pulled the tension down the back of my neck. It felt nice, I wasn’t sure if it made a difference to my migraine, but it made me feel better. His movements were sure and practiced. Clearly he had done this before.

“You get a lot of migraines?” I asked.

“Sometimes. Anakin gets them quite frequently. He has since he was a child. Acupressure with a little Force assistance always helped him.”

We fell into silence as he continued the head and neck massage. He gave particular attention to certain points on my neck, shoulders, my face, applying steady pressure for long moments. He even pinched and massaged the flesh between my thumbs and first fingers for a solid minute. By the time he was giving my temples a gentle massage, my migraine had soothed down to a dull ache and low pounding behind my eyes, and I was mostly relaxed, leaning back against his chest.

“Better?” he whispered.

“Manageable now. Thank you.” I moved to sit up and let him go free, but he grabbed my shoulder and held me still.

“You can relax, lie still for a few more minutes. Let the medicine keep working.”

He didn’t have to tell me twice. If this was where he wanted to stay, I wouldn’t argue. I matched my breathing to the steady rise and fall of his chest against my back. I relaxed further and drifted quietly in comfort, trying to ignore any pressing thought or feeling that might ruin the moment. Of course, not thinking about my problems was like not thinking about pink banthas.

“You are nervous about the call,” Obi-Wan observed.

I breathed deeply and released it in a long sigh. “I don’t want to have to tell them. I don’t want to have to go through it again.”

“I know. If I could make it so, you wouldn’t have to, but the Council needs your statement. You only have to go through it once more.”

Just once more. I could go through it once more.

Obi-Wan’s hand had unconsciously slipped around my waist, beneath my shirt, and his thumb was caressing the little swell in my belly. It was getting _less_ little with every passing day. Our child was growing fast, six more months and they would be here. I put my hand beside his.

“Does the baby still feel strong?”

“Stronger every day.”

“Kix said the medical database packet was coming through today. They can get the med bay equipment updated and calibrated overnight. I’m supposed to get scanned tomorrow afternoon.”

Tomorrow, finally, I would be able to see our baby, see if they were healthy, if they were strong, like Obi-Wan said they were. I didn’t doubt him when he said so, but I wanted proof for myself. I couldn’t sense what he did.

“Do you want me to be there?”

“Sure. If you want to. I imagine you want to see the baby as much as I do.”

“I do.” His hand increased pressure on my abdomen, holding us ever so slightly tighter. “I’m so afraid they _did_ something.”

“We’ll see tomorrow.”

I wanted to assure him that nothing was wrong, but I couldn’t say that for certain. I hadn’t pestered him for information on whatever terrible thing the aliens had planned for the baby. Over the last few days, I had convinced myself it was best to not know, to put the thought out of my mind. But it was impossible not to worry, not to imagine something terrible. The aliens had taken me into a lab every three days for two months, I never saw what they did to me, and they never explained anything. Maybe they were just checking my health; maybe they were doing something much worse.

We couldn’t know anything until tomorrow.

We lapsed into silence. Worry and nerves churned in my gut, but it was nothing to compare to my earlier nausea, and my migraine was now a barely noticeable pressure behind my eyes. Obi-Wan checked my forehead again.

“You’re feeling better. Not so clammy.”

“Yeah, I am.”

“You should finish your tea. You need to stay hydrated.”

I sat up and we separated on the bed. I swung my legs over the edge and grabbed my half-drunk tea. It was cold, but still tasted fine. Without asking him to, Obi-Wan filled my empty teacup with water from the ‘fresher sink. He passed off the water and said quietly, “Anakin’s on his way.”

Just a moment later, there was a knock on my door before Anakin stepped in. He gave me a sympathetic smile. “Your brain done melting?”

“For the most part. Is it time?”

“Yeah. Council’s waiting.”

I gulped down my cup of water and stood up, smoothing down what I could of my clothes. There had been no luck finding anything that fit me better on the ship, so I was still in the oversized scrub pants and t-shirts meant for clones recovering in med bay. It was impossible to not look rumpled in these clothes. At least I had been able to fashion a sort-of bra by making chest binding strips from a sacrificed shirt – not exactly comfortable, but better than nothing. And Ahsoka and I wore almost the same shoe size, so I didn’t have to wander around everywhere barefoot or in socks. Still, it would be nice to have my own clothes again, and not have to wear only borrowed clothes.

I followed Obi-Wan and Anakin to a room I had not been to before. There wasn’t much in the room, a holotable dominated the middle of the room, there was a bank of control panels along one wall, manned by a couple clones, there was one empty seat, and projected around the center table, in flickering blue, must have been the Jedi Council. I had never seen so many diverse species gathered together; a few I recognized – togruta, nautolan, human – and many more I didn’t. We joined the semicircle of holograms and the person directly across from us spoke. He was very small, very old, he held a cane and had long pointed ears.

“Master Kenobi, overjoyed we are to see you alive and well.” His voice was soft, croaky, though I couldn’t be certain that was because of the long distance our com signal had to go or his natural timber.

Obi-Wan bowed to the little old Jedi. “Master Yoda, I must say I am glad to see you as well, to know we are coming home.”

“Missed you have been.” He turned his eyes to me. “Your companion, you should introduce.”

Obi-Wan gestured me to his side and introduced me to the Jedi Council. There were more names than I could keep track of in too quick of succession. A human man, bald and dark skinned, appeared to be the speaker of the Council, Grandmaster Mace Windu. He took charge of the conversation after introductions, addressing me directly.

“We have been somewhat briefed on what transpired during your captivity, but we still would like your personal statement. We understand it will be difficult to relive the trauma, and we do apologize for it.”

“I understand.” I clasped my hands in front of me, nervously twisting my fingers.

“We also ask that you each give your statements individually and privately.”

I looked over to the Obi-Wan. Had he expected this? I had nothing to hide from him; we had survived that damn cage together. Did he have something to hide from me? Or was this just how things normally went?

Obi-Wan gave me the slightest nod, and I felt his hand on the small of my back. He didn’t seem worried. “Go first, Kenna.”

I took the empty seat within the circle. The Jedi left the room. I looked over my shoulder to the clones still working the controls. They made no indication that they were paying any attention to us, but that didn’t mean they weren’t.

“They have been sworn to confidentiality,” another Jedi said gently, the togruta, I couldn’t remember her name, “but if you wish, they can leave too.”

“No, it’s okay.” I drew a shaking breath and forced my gaze back to the circle of holograms.

Mace Windu prompted, “The more detail you can give us, the more complete our records can be, but only feel obligated to share as many details as you feel comfortable. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re giving this statement of your own free will?”

“Yes.”

“Start at the beginning.”

I told them everything; being kidnapped, kept in stasis, locked in the cage, the alien’s plans to experiment on us, their demands and coercions. I didn’t slip into any explicit detail, I figured that didn’t need sharing, but I knew my words were blunt enough to get the point across so they could fill in the blanks. I told them about the control chips, how they could hurt us, the fertility drugs, that they forced us to follow their experiment. I talked about the isolation, the boredom, the food and clothing and datapads and the way the aliens _knew_ how to keep humans healthy and happy locked up in cages. That we weren’t the first they had taken for experiments. Then my mouth went dry, and I told them that the aliens had succeeded, I was pregnant.

The Jedi let me speak until I ran out of thoughts, they didn’t interrupt, they didn’t ask for clarification. But when I finally slowed to a stop, they had questions. Some of them, I didn’t have the answer to; others prompted memories I had almost buried. Then they asked the question I had been dreading, what I had intentionally skimmed over.

"How did they force you to comply to the experiment?"

I swallowed, and moistened my lips, and tried to figure out how to explain it without sending myself off into a panic attack. My head hurt again, an echo of my migraine. My heart was beating madly in my chest and I could feel a cold sweat on my forehead. I was still having nightmares every night of going back to that cage, being exposed to that mist. Images were quick to flash to my mind and I had to try and remember what had been real and what was just a creation of my nightmare.

“There was a mist… some kind of drug they could administer to us. I-it took away our ability to think, to reason, to say no, to do anything but act. It was a complete loss of control. We tried to fight it, but…” My voice shook. I drew a deep breath and clenched my hands into tight fists. My nails dug into my palms and the sharp pain helped me stay grounded. I took another breath and continued. “A little bit of that mist… and we did _exactly_ what they wanted us to. They used it on us once, and we couldn’t stand the thought of them using the drug again. We did what we had to to survive.”

I prayed they wouldn’t need any more detail than that. I didn’t think I could do it.

There was a sober silence for a long moment. I couldn’t meet anybody’s eyes so I fixed my gaze on my hands in my lap. After what felt like a lifetime, but what was probably only a few heavy seconds, Mace Windu spoke again. “Thank you for your statement. We understand it is not easy to speak of what happened to you. Before we let you go, we have just a couple more questions.”

“Okay.”

“Do you have any accusations you wish to level against Master Kenobi?”

“What?”

Accusations? Like a crime? What could he have done to me? Oh… he could have raped me. He could have coerced me into telling a fabricated story. There was no doubt that we had both been kidnapped by the aliens and kept together in a cage, but until the Jedi had the alien’s data, there was no proof that they had forced us to mate for an experiment. For all they knew, he could have forced himself upon me, or I him, or we had just gotten bored and fucked each other because we were locked in a cage and were making up a story now because Jedi weren’t supposed to have children.

I didn’t really think they doubted me, but I realized they had to ask out of formality. Leave no bases uncovered.

“No, I have no accusations.”

“Have you any accusations or complaints about Knight Skywalker, Padawan Tano, or any of the clones?”

“No. They’ve been… very kind. Very understanding.”

“Do you feel safe on board the _Resolute_ and in the company of the ship’s crew and command?”

“Yes.”

Windu nodded. “Thank you again, for your statement. You may go. Please send in Master Kenobi.”

My legs trembled a little as I got up. I felt oddly blank, empty after spilling everything. I walked to the door of the com room and stepped into the bright hallway. Obi-Wan was on his feet, waiting for me.

“Your turn.” I jerked my head back to the open door.

He clasped my shoulder silently as he passed me. Then the door closed behind him and he was gone.

“Everything okay?”

I started and turned to face Anakin. I had almost forgotten he was here with us. “Y-yeah, I guess.” I let out a shaky, breathy laugh, and then I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks. “Fuck.” I wiped at my face, but that didn’t seem to dry my cheeks, in fact, they felt wetter.

I moved to wipe again, but Anakin moved quicker, grabbing my wrists gently. “Don’t do that, you’re bleeding.”

“What?”

I looked down at my hands, confused. My nails had cut little crescent-shaped marks into my palms, and there was blood welling up from them, and dripping down my hands.

“Fuck.” I said again, staring at my shaking hands. Sharp, hot pain bloomed in my palms and more tears welled up in my eyes to match it. “Ow, fuck.”

“Okay, you sit down, and I’ll get you patched up.” Anakin steered me towards the wall opposite the com room, shallow benches had been carved into the wall at regular intervals. They were just long enough for two to sit comfortably. He gently pushed me down to sit and produced a tiny first aid kit from a pouch on his belt.

“Where’d you get that?” I asked as he pulled out a couple gauze pads and pressed them down over my palms.

“Old habit. Mechanics are prone to cuts and burns, so I’ve always kept one on me. Easier and faster than taking a trip to med bay every time I needed a little bandage. This’ll sting.” He pulled a tiny spray bottle of antiseptic from the kit and sprizted a couple pumps over my palms. I flinched slightly at the burn of the medicated spray, but a second later, Anakin was gently pressing cool bandages over my palms. I could smell the bacta infused in them. The pain in my hands faded almost instantly.

“Sit tight and I’ll get something for your face.”

He got up and hurried off down the hall. I tried very hard to not touch the wet, itchy spots on my cheek. A minute later, he was back with a damp cloth. He passed it over, and I wiped my face where I felt the blood was and then the rest of my face. The cool cloth felt nice on my eyes, which still burned a little with unshed tears.

“Missed a spot.”

I wiped one last time at the spot on my cheek where he indicated.

“Got it.” He smiled weakly. “Need anything else?”

I chuckled wetly and said, “A fifth of Rodian tequila.”

"You can't have that."

“I know. But it’s nice to dream.”

We fell into silence and stared at the closed door across from us. It had only been a few minutes, and I knew it was going to take Obi-Wan just as long if not longer to give his statement.

“I know it doesn’t even come close to comparing, but I hate watching the two of you go through this. You both have so much… _pain_.”

I turned my head to look at him. “It’s never easy watching a loved one suffer; whether you can sense it in the Force or not.”

He looked to me, momentarily perplexed. “ _You’re_ not supposed to be the one comforting me right now. Not after going through all of that again.”

I bumped his shoulder playfully with mine. “Well somebody has to, and you’re not exactly giving out the hugs right now, are you?”

He laughed mirthlessly, but put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a side hug. “Better?”

“Sure. I could still go for that drink, though.”

“Yeah, couldn’t we all.”

Silence for a few more minutes. We didn’t move, Anakin kept his arm around me, and marginally I did begin to feel a little better. Maybe it was because I had given my statement, and it was all off my chest now. I wouldn’t have to speak of it again. I could put the worst of it behind me.

“Where’s Ahsoka?” I figured she would have been here, bringing her special padawan-sunshine and optimism to help lift moods after all of this and her absence was a little surprising.

“I sent her off on a mission. She’s scouting the planet below us. Scans came back really garbled and we think there might be a settlement down there, but we couldn’t tell for certain. So she went down with a squad of troopers to check.”

“Sounds exciting.”

Anakin shrugged. “At the very least, we’ll know if the planet is habitable and worth making a short stop here. Everyone could use a chance to get some fresh air and stretch their legs. We didn’t exactly get a lot of chances to rest while we were looking for Obi-Wan.”

“Fresh air sounds incredible.” I hadn’t gotten any fresh air in over six months either. And now that a visit down to the planet below was on the table, I very suddenly wanted to get down there.

“We’ll have to see what the scouts bring back. See if we’re lucky.”

I laughed dryly. “Don’t bring up luck around me. I am a _decidedly unlucky_ individual.”

“Obi-Wan would say that Jedi make their own luck.”

“Yeah, well that was before he met me.”

“Well, you can’t be entirely unlucky,” Anakin reasoned. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have been stuck with Obi-Wan, and you wouldn’t be here.”

I laughed again, shaking my head. “I suppose that’s one kind of optimistic spin to put on things. Didn’t expect to hear it from you, though.”

“What can I say? I’m full of surprises.”

We lapsed once again into silence, but less oppressive than before. And we watched and waited for the com room doors to open again and deliver Obi-Wan back to us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was actually going to be the first part of the next chapter, but then I added a bit more to the beginning, drawing more than a little from personal experience and wish fulfillment because I wish I had someone to bring me tea and give me massages when I get knocked flat on my ass from a migraine. (and also miracle space drugs that make a migraine go all the way away in an hour)
> 
> See you next week!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter brought to you by the fact that I didn't get to go swimming at all this past summer and I really missed it. Also sponsored by ponchos, because it can't be a Star Wars fic without someone wearing a poncho.
> 
> Also, friendly reminder, if there are any fun/tropey/cute things you'd like to see in the story, I'm open to suggestions. I've got plenty of stuff planned, but just because it's my self-indulgent fic doesn't mean it can't be fun for all you readers.

Ahsoka and the scouting party returned to the ship with good news. The blue and green planet we were orbiting was habitable, inhabited, and even better, they were friendly to interstellar travelers. They were open and welcoming to us and the clones. We could all get some much needed fresh air. They had goods and food to sell and trade, and I personally thrilled at the prospect of eating something fresh that wasn’t nutritional paste or military rations.

And the inhabitants were human – or remarkably close to human – which meant I would be able to get my hands on some properly fitting clothes of my own.

I went down with the Jedi to meet with the leaders of the city. The planet, despite being fairly habitable to most species, was sparsely populated, with only one major city and a collecting of outlying settlements around it. As we descended in a drop ship, I watched the green-ish landmass below us differentiate into low plains, and rocky mountains, and verdant forests.

We were expected, as our drop ship landed in the heart of the city and a small committee of people greeted us. They were, as far as I could tell human. The mayor stepped forward and welcomed the Jedi, and as they led us on a tour, they gave us a brief history lesson.

The people of the planet, it turned out, were more than friendly to interstellar travelers. They were settlers themselves. Almost two hundred years ago they had been a colonist group sent off in a ship to explore and settle wild space. Their ancestors had found this planet. They had been fortunate enough to find someplace habitable just as the ship reached the last of its fuel reserves. But they only realized after landing that there was something strange in the atmosphere that weakened any communication signals they were equipped to send out. That wasn’t much of a problem for them, as they had set out to settle on a new planet, but lack of communications meant they couldn’t contact the Republic again and let them know where they had landed. So they built their city out of the bones of the ship and settled in.

We stood up on a wide observation platform that offered a breathtaking view of the city, the wide lake that bordered it to the north, and the forests and mountains beyond the lake. It reminded me so much of home. I thought I was going to cry. A light, fresh breeze carried on it the scents of wet earth and cool rock, fresh water, and growing things. The forests still looked a little sparse in places; the green of the trees looked new, the temperature was warm, but not hot, and the breeze carried a little bit of chill down from the snowcapped mountains. It was springtime, I was sure of it.

“You know,” the mayor marked with mild interest, "Our original expedition had a Jedi among their ranks."

Obi-Wan nodded. "I believe at that time it wasn't uncommon for a Jedi to choose to accompany colonist groups."

Anakin cast a curious look to Obi-Wan. "What for?"

"Protection, negotiation, reconnaissance. They could identify force sensitivity in newly discovered people and relay that information to the Order, or nurture future generations of force sensitives born to the colonists. Sometimes it was just the Knight’s choice to travel with colonists."

The mayor nodded. "Ours was a pantoran. He never found another force sensitive amongst our children, but he was instrumental in establishing our home and ensuring our safety for generations to come." They scanned our group once again, and I didn’t miss the way their eyes lingered on me, my oversized and mismatched clothes. "What brings three Jedi and their warship so deep into wild space? Surely you weren't sent to look for us."

"No, we were on a rescue mission." Anakin explained neutrally. "Two of our own were abducted by an alien species."

The mayor's eyes went sharp and then sorrowful. "These aliens, did they walk on tentacles, have black shells?"

"Yes."

The mayor sighed sharply. "They have long plagued our planet. We reached an agreement with their governing body decades ago that they could not abduct us, but... there were fringe groups who thought their studies were above the law or sentient rights. I'm sorry to hear they have expanded their reach, we thought our planet was their only source of test subjects."

"Well, this fringe group won't be taking anyone else," Anakin said firmly.

I thought I had kept my face blank, keeping my eyes fixed on the view over the balcony edge, but I still felt the heavy gaze of the natives on me.

"I will inform their leadership of this new development." The mayor said neutrally, and then they changed the subject. “Come, I’m sure you are eager to explore the city, and find what provisions you would like to stock up on.”

We left the balcony and followed the mayor through the government building. The mayor was happy to talk about their planet, the way they had grown and adapted to galactic isolation. Nobody mentioned the aliens again. Nobody asked any more questions.

Obi-Wan and Anakin were introduced to the city’s treasurer, and while they spoke with the man, the mayor pulled me aside. Their eyes were soft sympathy.

"Am I correct in my assumption that you were one of the abducted?"

"Yes, I was one."

"Their government really does care about sentient rights. They criminalized the fringe groups. Your statement would be good evidence."

My heart clenched, I felt a shiver of fear run up my spine. I couldn't go through that again, I couldn't tell another person, not in the same day. I rubbed my hands together, and felt the bandages chafe against my palms. "The Jedi have my statement recorded. You can ask them for it."

I stepped away from the mayor, excusing myself quickly. I knew they weren't trying to be rude, they were trying to help, but I didn't want to give them the opportunity to ask questions.

Our group split up, the Jedi went to broker their trades; Ahsoka and I were tasked with finding me a real wardrobe. Our guide around the city was an older woman, somewhere in her sixties. The city was easily walkable, and the weather was absolutely beautiful. I didn’t mind having to walk to the shop where she thought I could get most, if not all of my clothes.

When she asked where in the store I wanted to shop, I shyly asked for the maternity section. Normal clothes fit me now, but I was going to need something much roomier in the future, and I doubted we would be making many other stops like this on our way back to Coruscant.

Her eyes lit up in genuine delight. "You're expecting a baby?"

"Yeah, in another six months."

"Oh, how wonderful. A baby is such a blessing."

Ahsoka and I said nothing to contradict her. It was refreshing to spend time with someone who didn’t know the baby was more of a problem than a blessing. For the next hour, she helped me pick out clothes and wardrobe essentials. My guide had three grown children of her own, and a couple of grandchildren. She was a font of practical information, particularly when it came to getting through a pregnancy comfortably.

“You’re going to want sturdy, supportive shoes, your ankles are going to twist and roll like it’s their job as your joints loosen – don’t want to take a fall. Nursing bras are quite comfortable, and you’ll probably favor soft sports bras as well. Underwires are hell when your breasts get sensitive. Always go for comfort, you’ll hate yourself for dressing for fashion when you enter than third trimester. You’re growing a whole human being, that’s hard enough work, and anyone who says otherwise can stuff it. You’ve got a good moisturizer? You’re gonna want it. Stretched skin gets so itchy.”

I liked our guide.

When we had collected enough clothes to last me the next couple months on board the ship, I changed immediately into one of my newly purchased outfits. It felt particularly nice to have my own underwear and a real sports bra on again, as well as properly fitting pants, and a top that wasn’t an oversized white t-shirt or gray tunic.

“You almost look like a new person!” Ahsoka cheered when I exited the dressing room.

“I feel like a new person.” I passed over the bag I had slipped her borrowed shoes into. “Thanks for the loan.”

“Any time!” She looped her arm through mine and led me out the front of the store. “Master Obi-Wan and Anakin commed, they said they would meet us in the market for lunch. If you’re up for it.”

My body suddenly remembered that I hadn’t eaten anything yet today, and my stomach rolled with hunger at the mention of lunch. I turned to our guide, “Anything you recommend?”

“Oh that depends on what you want. Market’s got plenty to give, depending on what you’re hungry for. All sorts of street vendors and little shops.” She led the way down the street, and a few blocks through the city until we came into a much busier part of town.

The noise and smell hit me all at once in a wonderful cacophony. It reminded me even more strongly of home. Street vendors hawked their wares, groups shopping together chattered, I faintly heard music, and I smelled all sorts of things cooking. We wound through the crowd until we stepped into a little square with a large fountain in the center. Our Jedi were waiting at the fountain.

“I see your mission was successful,” Obi-Wan noted, nodding at my new clothes and the shopping bags in my hand.

“Yes, was yours?”

“It was. I’m sure you won’t be the only one happy to know we will have fresh produce available onboard for the next couple weeks.”

“It’s great, really,” Anakin cut in, “but fresh fruit on the ship isn’t going to help us now, I’m starving.” He turned to our guide. “What’s good around here?”

She smiled and said again, “That depends on what you want.”

I caught a whiff of something on the spring breeze. It smelled of fish, spices, hot oil, and fried dough. It smelled incredible and my stomach growled and it was all I wanted.

“What about seafood?” Obi-Wan asked. “I imagine you catch plenty of fresh fish from the lake.”

“That we do. I know just the place.” Our guide led us off into the market, until we came to the stall that was selling whatever incredible scent I had caught. They seemed to have a menu that consisted entirely of deep fried seafood; battered fillets of fish, breaded fritters, crab cakes, and little shellfish that were battered and fried whole. All pulled fresh from the lake this morning.

We ordered some of everything. I was in absolute bliss.

As we sat around a little table near the food stall, I heard Anakin mutter to Obi-Wan in an undertone, “Since when do you voluntarily eat fish?”

“I like seafood on occasion,” Obi-Wan said airily. “And this happened to be one of those occasions. When it’s done properly.”

“So beer battered and deep fried then?”

“At least it’s killed and cooked, Mister Live-insects-are-a-meal.”

By the time we finished our lunch, there was a noticeable clone presence in the market. They were coming planet side in shifts, getting a couple hours of fresh air before rotating back to the ship so their brothers could get a turn. Even with a carved down crew manning the star destroyer, a couple hours per man was all that could be afforded. We were all trying to squeeze in as much shore leave as possible in one afternoon. Once night fell over this side of the planet, we would have to be on our way towards Coruscant once again. The sooner we got back to the Republic, the better.

Our group probably had the most time to kill, so at our guide’s suggestion, she took us to the north end of the city, where the large lake that kept the city fed and watered lay. The market stretched almost to the edge of the city and the lake’s edge. We perused the stalls casually, taking our time, commenting on the different wares being offered. Then we followed our guide, taking a walking path away from the docks, and down to the lake shore. It was lined with trees and buildings and I couldn’t get a good look at the lake until we were let out directly onto the shore.

I gasped in delight. It was a truly beautiful view.

The lake stretched out before me. Its cobalt waters lapped gently against a pebble beach. The shore was rocky, lined with dark green evergreens and new-green shrubs. Occasionally the shoreline opened up to more rocky beaches and giant slate colored boulders. Here and there, little spits of dock stretched out into the water, some had boats tethered to them, and scattered across the lake were other boats, some anchored for fishing, others puttering along slowly. I didn’t see anyone in the water, though given the season I didn’t think it was out of place.

A fresh breeze blew in over the lake, carrying the cool scent of the water and the sharp tang of tree sap. My body ached to swim, to feel the gentle caress of water, the subtle support as I floated. I wanted to test my tired limbs and dive deep until my lungs burned and my ears pounded.

"Is it safe to swim?"

My guide raised her eyebrows, "Sure, but it's cold this time of year. Won’t be comfortable for another month or so."

I didn't care. I thought I would die if I didn't get a chance to swim. I had missed it so much in my captivity. There was something inexplicably primal stirring in me. I was the child of a seaside colony. Sea water was in my blood. I was swimming before I was walking, and I had never gone so long away from the water. I dipped my hand into the water; it was cool, but not unbearable. I had swum in colder, and this wasn’t going to give me hypothermia from a short swim.

I sat on a nearby boulder, already pulling my new boots and socks off.

Anakin looked at me like I had grown two heads. "Wait, you're actually going in there?"

"I have to. Haven't been swimming in ages."

"There's a diving rock just down the shore?" Our guide offered helpfully, pointing to a wide, flat boulder that jutted out over the water.

I pulled my shirt off, and shimmied out of my pants, folding them on the rock. I was left in my newly purchased undergarments, suddenly grateful I had gotten a sport-styled bra and dark underwear.

"You're crazy," Anakin muttered, he turned to Obi-Wan, "Tell her she's crazy."

Obi-Wan shrugged, "A little cold water won't hurt her."

The sunlight was warm on my exposed skin, but the breeze was cool enough to raise goosebumps across my body. This would be a brisk swim, but I needed it so badly. It would be worth it. I ran for the diving rock and climbed carefully to the top. The drop was about eight feet, and I could see the water below was clear and deep. I looked back to the others and waved a lazy salute. Then I took a few steps back and made a running dive off the rock. I launched myself up an out, bending my body into a jackknife before straightening out and entering the water with a splash.

The water was _cold_. Even though I knew what to expect, it still shocked me, locking my muscles and forcing the breath from my lungs for a brief moment. It wasn't the coldest water I'd been in, but I knew only the most vigorous swim wouldn't make it more tolerable, and I wasn't in shape for a vigorous swim. Despite the cold, the dive was incredible, I love being underwater, weightless and enveloped in near-silence, only my bubbles for company. I let myself sink until my lungs began to burn, which wasn't long, and I kicked for the surface. My head broke and I took a deep breath of cool air, fresh air. It felt so good to breath air that hadn't been recycled and filtered a thousand times. Water streamed down my face, I could taste the lake water, and smell it lingering on my skin. It was organic and mineral; tasting faintly of silt and rot and fish. It wasn't a clean or pleasant taste, I certainly wouldn't drink the lake water, but the fact that it was unfiltered, and not quadruple distilled for purity made it even sweeter.

"Look out below!"

I turned just in time to see Ahsoka take a flying leap from the diving rock. She went higher and farther than I did, tucking into a flip before curling into a ball to splash into the water. I shaded my eyes as water rained down over my head. She surfaced with a little yelp, "Oooh, that's colder than I thought it would be."

I swam over to her with a few smooth strokes. "A little brisk, huh?"

"Worth it, Skyguy bet me five I wouldn't dive in."

"Technically speaking, that wasn't a dive."

" _Ossik_ , you're right.”

She swam back for the diving rock, I followed but didn't climb out for another go off the rock, as cool as it was, I knew once I got out of the water I wasn't getting back in. I treaded water and goaded Ahsoka on. I could see her shivering up on the rock as she considered her dive. I heard Anakin called to her, "Don't mess it up this time, Snips!"

"I'll show him a dive," Ahsoka muttered, flashing me a mischievous grin. She took a few steps back and started from a run. She jumped even higher in the air than her first jump, and pulled a number of twists and flips in midair before straightening out into a perfect line. She barely made a splash as she entered the lake.

"How's that for a dive!" She called back upon surfacing.

Anakin waved her off.

Ahsoka floated over to me, "It feels warmer once you get back in."

"Yeah, but it won't be for long." My body had acclimated to the water, I was no longer covered in goosebumps, and my muscled had warmed with the movement, but I knew that wouldn't last much longer. I submerged again to see how deep the diving hole went. The water was a little murky, but as far as I could see the diving rock was just over a deep hole, natural or man-made I couldn’t tell, but the bottom fell so deeply down I couldn’t see it.

Ten minutes or so in the water was all I could stand. My teeth were beginning to chatter. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for an empty afternoon and a warm ocean. "I'm going out."

"Yeah, probably a good idea."

We swam along the shore to where the Jedi were waiting. The lake floor came up quickly beneath our feet once we cleared the area around the diving rock, and we used each other for support as we navigated over the slippery bottom.

"How's the water?" Obi-Wan asked dryly as we stepped onto the pebbly beach.

"Brisk." I wrung out my hair. The air felt much colder now, despite the warm sunshine, and I was shivering. I wicked the water off my skin as best as I could in hopes of drying faster. Ahsoka has found a better way of warming up, by chasing an unhappy Anakin around the beach in attempts to give him a hug.

Something warm and soft was draped over my shoulders as I tried rubbing some warmth into my arms.

"Feel better?" Obi-Wan asked quietly.

I pulled his robe around me tightly, grateful for the dry warmth. "Yes. I needed that so much."

Farther down the beach, a great cry of dismay rose up as Ahsoka managed to tackle Anakin and he had to catch an armful of wet togruta.

I waited as long as I could manage and got as dry as possible before slipping back into my clothes. My underwear was still a little damp, but I didn’t think Obi-Wan would want his damp robe back any time soon, and it would cover any wet spots of mine. The rock I had left my clothes on was sitting in direct sunlight and it had warmed my clothes wonderfully.

I stared out over the lake as we waited for Ahsoka to get her leggings back on over her slightly damp legs. I felt a sudden stab of homesickness, worse than any of the pangs I had felt in the cage. I missed my home, the mines, my ocean, and the people there.

I drank up the view of the lake, taking in every detail I could. It would make for a very pretty painting. I could have stayed there forever. This little city was nice, as were the people, surely there was some way I could settle in here and make a life for myself. Except this planet was far too close to those aliens to ever let me feel secure here, and I wasn’t certain either of the Jedi would be particularly happy if I stayed here with the baby. I already had a home, and someday I knew I would return to it. It might take a little longer than I hoped, with the baby complicating things, but I couldn’t wait to see my own familiar shoreline once again.

“We should head back to the city center,” Obi-Wan suggested once Ahsoka was fully dressed. “There is just a little more business we have to attend to before we depart, and it’s already midafternoon.”

He wasn’t wrong, but I was sorry to leave. We parted from our guide as we reached the edge of the market again. We knew our way back to the city, and she had done more than enough to help us throughout the day. I took particular care to thank her for all her advice.

As we wandered back through the crowded market, I noticed a distinct chill in the air that I hadn’t noticed before, particularly in the shadows. I had no doubt it was because my hair and clothes were still damp, but it made me realize something. “Fuck,” I hissed, trying to not draw attention, but I did anyway.

“What?” Obi-Wan asked.

“I should have bought a jacket or something. I forgot the ship gets cold.”

“You know, that would probably be something useful to have,” Anakin added amenably. “Space is cold.”

“I saw a vendor that looked like they had jackets and stuff a few stalls back,” Ahsoka pitched her thumb over her shoulder.

So we backtracked, and unfortunately did not find a jacket saleswoman, but a poncho saleswoman. They were lovely things, hand-crocheted from yarn spun by local artisans who sheared the cloud-soft wool from native creatures, and dyed them with natural materials. Ahsoka insisted on picking out a poncho for me. She chose a deep, berry-purple poncho with accent stripes along the edge in sky blue, spring green, and snow white. It was thick, and warm, and softer than anything I’d ever felt before in my life.

A poncho was far superior to a jacket, I decided as I cozied up in the warm woolen garment, because there was no chance it wouldn’t fit as the baby grew, and also it was like walking around draped in a blanket all the time. _Jackets could suck it_ , I thought smugly, _ponchos for life_.

We got back to the government building just as the sun started dipping towards the horizon. The Jedi finished up whatever business they had remaining with the mayor, and then we were back on the dropship and heading back to the _Resolute_. Despite the rough start this morning, with the migraine and morning sickness, and the stressful call to the Jedi Council, overall it was a good day. I reflected on the last several hours warmly, feeling a contented fatigue settle into my limbs as I sat. Then my body made it less good, as I, once again, proved I could not handle the change in altitude and gravity going up from a planet. At least this time, we had the forethought to grab the bucket before I puked on anybody’s shoes… and I didn’t burst a blood vessel in my gut this time. So that was, as Anakin so helpfully pointed out, an improvement from last time.

We got back to the ship, and I was more than ready to drag my exhausted, mildly-miserable body back to my room for a nap, or maybe just an early bedtime, but we were greeted in the hangar by one particular clone medic. Kix had good news, at least. The medical database upgrade had arrived. They would install it and recalibrate the med bay equipment tonight. And then tomorrow afternoon I could finally get a proper scan. I'd finally see the baby.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The med bay scanners have been upgraded and Kenna and Obi-Wan get their first look at the baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional content warnings: medical procedures, needles, medical jargon.

_Obi-Wan and Kix were waiting for me in med bay and we wasted no time getting me under the scanner. While we waited for the images to compile, Obi-Wan gave my hand a reassuring squeeze._

_“Nervous?” he asked._

_“A little, and excited.”_

_“Me too.” He squeezed my hand again._

_I turned my eyes to Kix just in time to see the clone’s face brighten. “There we go, the scans are coming up now.” All of a sudden, his smile fell, his expression turned dark. “Oh no,” he said softly._

_“What’s wrong?” We demanded in unison._

_Kix swallowed nervously. “It’s… not pretty. Brace yourselves.” Hesitantly, excruciatingly slowly, he turned the scan towards us._

_Whatever was on the screen wasn’t human. It wasn’t even close! It was long and thin, twisted and coiled around itself. There was what looked like armored plates forming, and something was writhing all around it._

_Tentacles, I realized… they were tentacles. I wasn’t pregnant with a baby. It was one of them!_

“NO!”

I sat bolt upright in bed, my heart pounding and my palms sweaty. I scrambled for the light and it illuminated the dark of my cozy little room. I swore fluently and rubbed my hands across my face. I was still in bed. I hadn’t gone to med bay yet. I had been dreaming.

I ran my hand across my abdomen and looked down at my little belly. I couldn’t help but whisper, “You better be human in there.”

It was too-damn-early to be awake, but I knew after that nightmare I wasn’t going to get back to sleep. I showered and dressed and decided it was as good a time as any to go hunt down some breakfast. I was ravenous after sleeping through dinner last night.

The hot meal wasn’t ready yet, but the mess always kept something available for anyone to grab if they needed a bite, and there was always a steady supply of hot caf. I grabbed a bagel and a bowl of some kind of fresh fruit from the chiller – it must have been some of the produce we imported from the planet yesterday. I didn’t recognize it on sight, but I hoped it would be good. Then I filled a cup to the brim with caf and staked out a claim at one of the empty tables.

I slowly ate my bagel and sipped my caf and sampled the fruit around a great many yawns. It really was too-damn-early, I was the only one in the mess. The fruit was tasty, at least. It had the texture and juiciness of melon, but with a bitter-sour-sweet flavor of citrus. I quite liked it, though the flavor clashed terribly with caf.

I let my mind drift into a half-aware stupor while I picked slowly at my bowl of fruit, and only realized that I was no longer alone in the mess when another body sat across from me.

“You’re up early.”

“So are you.”

Obi-Wan had nothing but a steaming cup of caf before him. He pulled the sugar across the table from where it had been left some ten feet away and tipped some into his cup. “Trouble sleeping?”

“Rough dreams.”

“More spiders?” He asked with a small, teasing smile.

I smiled weakly back. “Does it look like I punched myself in the nose?”

I occasionally suffer from sleep paralysis, except instead of the normal ghosts or demons or whatever other people see, my brain usually conjures images of large spiders crawling into my bed and onto my face. This little piece of personal information I unwillingly shared with Obi-Wan when I woke up one night punching myself in the face to get the imaginary spiders off, and he had to explain several times until my sleep and fear addled brain caught up that there couldn’t be a spider in my bed because we were stuck in a hermetically sealed cage.

Not my best moment. Though I would trade a month’s worth of spider nightmares to stop the other nightmares I was still having on an almost nightly basis.

I nudged his foot under the table. “Care to share what’s got you up so early?” Obi-Wan was an early riser, but even this was bordering on too-damn-early for him.

“Same as you I suspect.”

I breathed a nervous laugh. “What, you also dreamed the baby was actually one of those aliens and not human at all?”

Obi-Wan paused with his cup of caf halfway to his mouth. “Actually, yes, something like that.”

“Huh, imagine that.” I looked down at my fruit bowl, putting far more care into picking my next bite than the task required. “Guess we’ll have to wait until this afternoon to know for sure.”

A heavy silence fell over us for a very long minute. Obi-Wan drank his caf. I ate my fruit.

He broke the silence, nodding to my half-eaten bowl of fruit “Is that any good? I didn’t try any last night. The troopers seemed to like it though.”

I nodded and shrugged. “Yeah, it’s pretty good. I like it.” I slid the bowl towards him. “Help yourself, this is more than I can finish anyways.”

We said little else, sitting in a more comfortable silence while we shared the bowl of fruit. By the time we finished, more life was stirring on the ship and a handful of clones were slowly trickling in for their own breakfast, and it was a slightly more respectable hour to be awake.

“I should get going,” Obi-Wan said, draining the last of his second cup of caf.

“Busy day?”

“Yes. A lot of information came in with the data packet yesterday that I have to handle.”

“Must be rough,” I commented idly, taking a luxuriously slow sip of my second cup of caf, “having to be constructive and useful all day. I’m sure there’s a mountain of datawork waiting for you.”

“Yes, it’s not as if I was in the middle of something important when I got abducted.”

“Those aliens really were very inconsiderate of your busy social calendar.”

“They really were.” Obi-Wan cracked a small smile. Then he stood up and collected the dirty dishes. “I’ll see you later, Kenna.”

“See ya.”

He left. I slowly finished my caf, trying to figure out what exactly I would do with myself today to keep busy until my appointment. It would be an exercise in self-control to not show up in med bay first thing and hover around anxiously until the scanners were calibrated properly. Because I knew in the back of my mind, if I was there as soon as the scanners were ready, I wouldn’t wait until my appointment.

But I couldn’t do that to Obi-Wan. He wanted to be there to see our child for the first time. As busy as he was today, I knew he would make it for the appointment. I figured the least I could do was wait until then as well.

Med bay was quiet when I stepped in. A few clone medics milling around with the medical droids, but nobody injured. Kix was waiting, and he led me back to a private room where the freshly recalibrated scanner sat waiting.

“General Kenobi messaged me, he said he’s running a few minutes behind, but we can start without him. The scan’ll take a few minutes anyway.” He patted the scanner bed. “Hop on up and lie down. How’d your migraine go yesterday?”

“Fine after I took the medicine. Took a little while to kick in.” I hopped onto the scanner and once I was settled the bed slid into the tube. There was a very slight hum as the scanner activated.

“Good. Any other problems since yesterday?”

“No.” In fact after my little impromptu swim yesterday I had felt better than I had all week.

“Good.” Kix asked a few other questions while the scan ran. When it was done the bed slid out from the scanner tube. I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed.

Obi-Wan wasn’t here yet.

“Should we wait?” I asked.

“It’ll take a minute for the scan results to compile. In the meantime, I’ve got datapads for you and General Kenobi. All the important medical information and such.” He passed one over to me. “Give it a read; let me know if you have any questions or concerns.”

I noticed he still had two datapads in his hands. “Is one of those for Anakin?”

Kix shrugged, “I figured it would be easier for him to have his own rather than stealing General Kenobi’s.”

I half laughed, “Yeah, that’s probably good planning.” I was beginning to doubt there would be any keeping anything about the pregnancy from Anakin. Not that I wanted to, he was Obi-Wan’s lover, and beginning to get as invested in this pregnancy almost as much as Obi-Wan.

We waited another quiet minute for Obi-Wan. He was now ten minutes late. I knew he wanted to see the baby, and I was certain he wanted to be there when we got the first scan, but if he was held up with something, who knew how much longer he would take. I didn’t think I could stand waiting much longer.

The computer pinged softly, the scan data was ready. I glanced at the back of the screen, it was facing away from me and I couldn’t see anything.

“We’ll give him another minute,” Kix suggested, “If he’s not here by then – hold on..." he caught a glance at the scanner and his brow immediately creased with confusion.

My heart ramped up immediately. Nothing good ever happened when a medical person looked confused, and I couldn’t help but remember that stupid dream I’d had this morning. "What's wrong?"

He didn't answer as he studied the scanner screen. "Not wrong, I don't think..."

He kept the imager screen angled away from me while he checked the scan. My eyes never left his face. His eyes went wide, surprised, a quiet little "oh" escaped him.

"What is it?"

"Uh... I may have an explanation for why you’ve had a particularly hard time so far with the pregnancy… you’re having triplets.

I grabbed Kix and pulled him close, putting as much threat in my voice as I could muster. "Do _not_ joke about that."

"No joke, look," he turned the scanner screen to face me. There were three heartbeats pulsing at the top of the screen, and images of three distinct, little shapes. I released Kix and grabbed the screen.

“That can’t be right. The scan’s wrong! It’s not calibrated correctly.”

“We double checked every calibration this morning. It’s not wrong.”

I went numb, cold all over except for a burning pit located somewhere between my heart and stomach. I stared at the screen, not quite accepting reality. I moved without thinking, slipping off the bed and moving to the door. Kix said something, but I could not comprehend anything he was saying. The doors slid open just as I reached them, placing one Obi-Wan Kenobi directly in my path.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

I couldn't say it. My brain was beyond the ability to form coherent thoughts much less words. I punched him as hard as I could in the arm and my mind coordinated enough to utter one emphatic, "Fuck you!" Then I shoved him out of my way and I was gone.

I stumbled through med bay, out into the corridor, and then I was running away, as if that would actually solve any of my problems. Unconsciously, I ran to the observation deck, it was empty, as I hoped it would be. A magnificent nebula displayed itself across the wide windows, swirling clouds of pink, purple with the occasional flash of light, a birthplace of stars and planets. It would have been a delight to paint, I would have dropped everything to try and capture it if I had been in any other mood.

I dropped heavily on a bench and stared out the window, part of me wished the nebula would reach through the transparisteel and take me away. Solve all my problems. I stared at it, wishing numbly for the impossible, then, slowly, my brain began to remember how to think and reason.

I dropped my head into my hands. What the hell was I supposed to do with triplets? It was bad enough that I had been facing a future trying to raise one child on whatever underpaying job I could pick up. Triplets... I would never be able to manage by myself. I laid a hand over my belly, over the little swell that held _three_ human lives.

Had this been part of the alien's plans? Aside from whatever horrible thing they had planned otherwise, had they also pumped me full of fertility drugs to force my body to carry triplets. This like this just _don’t_ happen. Twins, sure, they were rare, but it happened. Not triplets.

Guilt settled into that burning pit of fear in my stomach. I shouldn't have acted that way to Obi-Wan. It wasn't his fault, not really. I hadn't blamed him before, not while stuck in the cage, not when I found out I was pregnant, not while I was sick and miserable. It may have been his seed that created these children, but it was also my egg that had split into three. He had as much say in the matter as I did, and that was none.

It wasn't his fault. It was those fucking aliens! If I wasn't certain the ones who took us had been killed, I would have demanded we turn the ship around so I could go back and kill them myself.

A reflection of movement in the window caught my eye. Obi-Wan was standing in the doorway. After a moment of hesitation, he stepped into the room and settled next to me on the bench.

“Did you know?” I hissed. “Is this what you saw in the data?”

“No. This… this is news to me as well. I'm sorry.”

"I'm sorry too." I drew a deep breath and release it slowly. "It's not your fault. I shouldn't have blamed you."

"I am responsible to a degree."

"Just as I am." I fixed my eyes directly on a bright spot of the nebula that happened to be right behind Obi-Wan's reflection in the window. "If it wasn't you, it would have been somebody else."

_Probably somebody worse_ , I kept to myself.

"But it’s still your body. You have to carry them. It’s happening to you more than it is happening to me.” He released a heavy sigh. “I wish I could say with certainty what will happen in the future.”

"I wish I knew how the hell I'm going to support and raise three kids on my own."

He turned to look at me. "You won't have to be alone."

I scoff. This story is too familiar. No man who accidentally fathers children ever sticks around to play daddy. I imagine the Jedi, who aren't even supposed to have children, would be even less inclined. "Tell me that again when we get back to Republic space."

He turned me so I had to look him fully in the eye. "I won't abandon you, or my children." He then almost smiled. "Frankly, I don't think Anakin plans on letting you out of his sight any time soon either."

I hummed and shrug in agreement. "He's going to lose his mind when he finds out its triplets. The fact that I was carrying your child was enough to make him giddy."

Over the last few days, Anakin had taken to referring to the baby as "ours" collectively, including himself. It didn't take long for me to realize Kenobi and Skywalker came as a set, there wouldn't be one without the other in the baby's life. I realized something. "Is that all I am now? A surrogate?"

"Is that what you want to be?" Obi-Wan's words were carefully measured. "You never asked to be pregnant. You told me you never wanted children. If they are force sensitive like me, they can be raised as Jedi in the Temple. You could walk away like it never happened and know they will grow up loved and cared for."

The idea did sound appealing. But ever since we had been freed, I had assumed that the baby would be my responsibility. I had begun to plan for the fact that I would have a child to take care of in the future and that had started to sound less terrible, at least until now.

"I don't know. I don't know what I want to do anymore."

“Well, you have six months to figure that out, I suppose.”

“Yeah…” Six months from now felt like an eternity and also no time at all.

“You need to go back to med bay. Kix wasn’t finished with you.”

“Shit,” I laughed weakly, “Yeah I guess I kind of ran out in the middle of something important.”

“Do you still want me there?” Obi-Wan got to his feet and offered me a hand to get up. I didn’t need it, but I took it anyway.

“Yes. I would very much like for you to be there.” I looped my arm through his, and added with a wry grin. “You’ll be in charge of stopping any further escape attempts.”

Kix made no comment of the brief interruption in our appointment, when we got back to med bay. He just asked me to hop back onto the scanner table before pulling up the scan data and letting us see.

“Everything looks good, so far, the med program didn’t flag any abnormalities. Their heartbeats are strong, and they have reached all the appropriate developmental milestones. They look healthy and everything appears normal, but considering there are three of them, and the nature of experimentation done to the both of you, it is highly recommended you have an amniocentesis.”

I felt relief flood through my body when Kix said the babies – god that was still strange to wrap my head around; _babies_ , plural, more than one, fuck – were healthy, strong. Then, of course, came the anxiety a moment later when he brought up the experiment. He wasn’t wrong, just because they looked healthy didn’t mean there wasn’t something wrong with them. Who knew what those aliens might have done.

“What kind of test is amniocentesis?” Obi-Wan asked cautiously.

Kix gestured to the scanner. “The pod’ll extract some of the amniotic fluid from around the fetuses. There will be cells of theirs floating in the fluid, from those we can go a genetic assay. That will tell us if there are any genetic defects or abnormalities.”

I frowned. “How is it supposed to extract the fluid?”

“With a very long needle.”

I blanched. I hated needles. And the thought of sticking one into my womb, where there were three developing babies… “Is that safe?”

Kix nodded, and said with all confidence, “The surgical pod is extremely precise. There’s virtually no chance of harm to the babies.”

I felt a little better, but wasn’t all that keen on being stuck with a very long needle. “Do I have to?”

Kix and Obi-Wan shared a look briefly before the medic said, “We can’t force you to undergo any procedure that’s not medically necessary. No, you don’t _have_ to, but it is very strongly recommended.”

I knew, even before I asked, that I was going to go through with it anyway, but I was marginally reassured that, if I wanted to, I could back out. “What do I need to do?”

“Lie down, the pod will restrain you to keep you still while it does the extraction.”

For the second time, I laid back on the medical bed, rolling up my shirt and pulling my waistband down to expose my little round belly to the medical scanner. The bed slid into the tube and I felt padded arms press down on me, over my thighs, beneath my ribs, and along my hips to hold me absolutely still. I looked just long enough for the needle to make an appearance and then my eyes went every direction except down.

“Someone distract me, quick.”

I could feel something gently swabbing my skin, disinfecting the injection site. Obi-Wan offered his hand, and I grabbed it tightly.

“Give me two seconds,” Kix offered, typing at the computer, “And you’ll have live scan data.”

The screen blinked and a new image appeared, and for a moment even the thought of the needle left me. There they were, our babies. They looked so strange, only vaguely human, more head than anything, but I had some vague recollections of a health or biology class stir in the back of my mind. They were supposed to look like that. The three of them were nestled together in a little trine, circled in their own little bubbles, and as we watched I saw them make tiny little movements, too small still to be felt, but my heart fluttered all the same.

Obi-Wan’s hand tightened reflexively around mine. “No wonder I felt such a strong life force. There were three of them.”

“How big are they?” I asked.

Kix read something off the scan data, “Just about three inches long. They only weigh about half an ounce each.”

Three inches… my first finger was just about three inches long. And half an ounce was so light, it was practically nothing.

“That’s so small,” Obi-Wan breathed. I tore my eyes from the screen to look at him. He was glued to the screen, eyes wide and wondering.

Kix said in a matter-of-fact voice, “They _were_ smaller. And they’ll get bigger.”

I breathed a laugh. “Don’t remind me.” Things were going to get very cramped in the coming months.

Something thin, solid, and long appeared on the screen – the needle. I froze, holding my breath. I must have been numbed, because I couldn’t feel a thing, though I resolutely kept my eyes on the screen and didn’t look down the tube. We all watched silent and unmoving for a moment while the needle pierced into one of the bubbles and then withdrew.

“It’ll do that twice more,” Kix explained, “Once for each amniotic sac.”

My mouth went dry as I saw the needle appear again near one of the other babies. My hand tightened around Obi-Wan’s and he squeezed back reassuringly. The process was fast at least, it only took about thirty seconds to make the extractions. Then I was released and the medical table slid out of the tube and I sat up, swinging my legs over the side.

The live feed of the scan disappeared and Kix angled the screen back towards him.

“How long will the tests take to produce a result?” Obi-Wan asked.

“It’ll be a couple days,” Kix said, referencing the computer again. “It takes time for the cells to culture to get enough genetic material, and then the actual testing and analysis. It’ll come back with a full genomic breakdown; you’ll even know their sex.”

I hadn’t even thought to ask about the sex of the babies while I was under the scanner. “Couldn’t we see that now?”

“Not at this stage, the genitals haven’t developed yet, and they wouldn’t be easily identifiable for another couple months. At least with the genome mapped, you’ll know their chromosomes.”

I frowned, an icy, sick feeling forming in my stomach. “And what if the analysis comes back with a problem? What if something is wrong?”

Obi-Wan had an answer for that question. He put his hand back on my shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. “That is a bridge we will cross when we get to it.”

Kix nodded in agreement. “No sense in worrying about something nobody can control until you know it’s a problem.”

I shrugged and nodded. That was easier said than done, but he wasn’t wrong.

Kix handed out the datapads he had put together once more, explaining what they contained. “And one for General Skywalker. It’ll stop him from bothering us in med bay and from stealing yours.” He handed the last datapad to Obi-Wan who accepted it with a knowing nod.

I stared at the datapad in my hand while my other hand pressed over my belly. My head was full of confusing, worried thoughts and feelings, and I couldn’t let go of the thought that even though the babies _looked_ healthy didn’t mean they were, and we couldn’t know until the genomic tests came back. And if there was something wrong with the genomic tests, it could mean we would lose one of the babies, or all of them, and I just… I didn’t want to put that burden on anyone else until we knew one way or the other how truly healthy the babies were.

“Hey, can we maybe hold off on cluing Anakin in on everything about the triplets? I-I know it’s not going to stay secret for very long, but maybe can we hold off on telling everybody about them until we have all the tests back? Just for a couple days.”

“That sounds reasonable enough,” Obi-Wan agreed.

Kix nodded, but added. “Anyone with access to medical data is going to be able to access the information. But that’s only medics and med droids, and I know nobody here will let anything important slip.”

I nodded. It couldn’t be that hard, keeping a little secret for just a couple days longer, could it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have now reached the point in which, while I was plotting the story I paused for a moment and said "Is this too much?" and then I remembered this is my Treat Yo'self fic and I didn't care if it was too much. I hope you all are having as much fun with it as I am.
> 
> Also, weekly updates will probably be put on a short hold, because winter holidays eat up all my writing time.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody is bad at keeping secrets, and Kenna and Obi-Wan have a difficult, but necessary conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year y'all! Have a little something to carry you into the new year.
> 
> Content warning for this chapter: frank and open discussion of abortion. Relentless teasing of Anakin Skywalker.

"Morning," I mumbled quietly, sitting down at the breakfast table with my tray. I hid a yawn behind my hand.

"Mmh," Anakin hummed in greeting around a sip of caf.

Obi-Wan was staring at a datapad in front of him, glassy-eyed but so thoroughly engrossed in whatever he was reading he didn't even acknowledge me. I wasn't offended, he looked tired, and stressed, and probably had slept about as well as I had last night.

Ahsoka was the only one who looked properly awake. She looked between the three of us and said, "You three are a chipper lot."

"Mmh," Anakin said again.

I picked apart my breakfast – plain toast, the only thing I could stomach this morning – and said, "Well, I have a pretty good reason for being tired." In retrospect, how terrible my pregnancy had been thus far made so much sense now knowing I was carrying triplets. It also meant that I had spent more time awake last night than asleep, worrying about being pregnant with triplets. "Pass the sugar."

Ahsoka slid me the sugar, and I poured a healthy measure into my caf. I gave my cup a quick stir, and began to lift it before I was abruptly halted.

"Wait!" Obi-Wan's hand shot out and held my cup down. "Don't drink that."

A bit of the hot liquid spilled over the rim and splashed onto my hand. I let go of the cup and drew my hand back quickly, a little more spilled onto the table. "Why, what's wrong with it?"

Anakin was also eyeing his half-drunk cup of caf with alarmed suspicion.

"You're not supposed to drink caf."

I blinked, slow to catch onto his reasoning. "What?"

"You're not supposed to drink caf. It's not good for the babies. The stimulants."

I stuttered for a moment before sighing and dropping my frozen hand to the table and wiping off the caf that had spilled on my skin. So that's what he had been reading so intently, the datapad full of all the newly acquired medical information that Kix had given us yesterday. I hadn’t read mine yet, not much. I had tried, but I couldn’t get more than a paragraph or two in before it all became too much. I had enough on my mind yesterday after learning about the triplets; I didn’t need to stress myself out by reading up on what I could expect in the future. I’d get there eventually.

Apparently somewhere in the pages was a whole slew of dietary restrictions. I knew there had to be some, like even I knew about no alcohol, but caf was on the list too? I felt a little flash of stupid petulance well up in my heart. "But I love caf... One cup can't hurt."

Obi-Wan at least looked truly apologetic. "You can't drink it anymore."

“But I’ve been drinking caf all week. At least let me savor my last cup.”

“No. Sorry, Kenna. It’s in the book.”

There was a brief moment where I thought I was actually going to cry. I was far too tired and too stressed out to be deprived of caf in this manner. Damn that book.

Anakin shook his head, and mopped up the spilled caf, also stealing my cup to his own tray. "He was up all night reading. He's memorized that datapad."

"Don't act as if you didn't read it as well."

"Yeah, but I also slept after finishing it. This is what? Your fourth read through." Anakin poured my caf into his own cup and began drinking it too.

I gave him the most exaggerated frown I could. "At least let me have a sip."

I reached for the cup. Anakin held it out of my reach, and then, holding unbroken eye contact, chugged the entire cup.

I glared at him. "I hope that hurt." My caf was not at chugging temperatures.

"Not at all," he rasped through a burnt throat.

Obi-Wan stared at him in disbelief, shaking his head with thinly veiled disappointment. He sighed and turned to me. "Can I get you something else to drink?"

I tried to give him a withering glare, but couldn't keep it up. He was just trying to keep me and the babies healthy, and if the medical datapad said caf was a no-no, it probably had good reasons for being marked so. I would have to read that section myself so I could avoid anything on the Do Not Consume list without anxious Jedi intervention.

"Just some water," I told him. Nothing else available to drink had sounded appetizing on my first go through. Water, at least, I knew wouldn't upset my stomach.

He got up, and I went back to my breakfast with little enthusiasm. "All I can eat," I grumbled, "is dry toast and plain water... being pregnant sucks."

"The nausea can't last forever," Anakin offered.

"Shows what you know. All I've wanted to do for the last three months is puke and sleep, and that hasn't changed yet."

Ahsoka shuddered comically, “Being pregnant sounds awful. Glad I’m a Jedi, I don’t think I’ll ever want to go through with that.”

Anakin put a hand to his heart and age about a decade at her words. “Don’t say stuff like that, Snips, being your Master is stressful enough without thinking about that.”

I stifled a laugh and added, “Provided you don’t get kidnapped by evil aliens, I think you’ll be okay, provided you invest in really good birth control.”

“I’m not hearing this,” Anakin said quickly. “Kenna, stop encouraging her.”

“This is what you get for stealing my caf.” I looked between the Master and Padawan, “I mean, you Jedi get teenagers to take as apprentices, you basically end up living together like family. You have to have a Talk eventually, right?”

“Nope,” Ahsoka giggled.

“There are _perfectly adequate_ classes at the Temple for padawans.”

Anakin’s face was going deeply pink. I decided to put him out of his misery and end the conversation. “Good thing you’re a Jedi and won’t have your own kids. God forbid you have your own children who end up being teenagers of dating age.”

“Force forbid you ever have a daughter, Skyguy,” Ahsoka quipped. “Poor girl will never have any fun unless her Auntie Ahsoka steps in.”

“You two are killing me,” Anakin groaned, burying his face in his hands.

Obi-Wan came back at that moment with a glass of cold water. “Why are we killing Anakin?”

“Oh, just cluing him into a couple facts of life,” I said innocently, taking a sip of water.

“Ah.”

We settled back into to silence for a few minutes, finishing up our breakfast.

"So, um... did I hear right?" Ahsoka ventured cautiously, "Earlier, you said 'babies' with an s, as in more than one."

"Yeah, Obi-Wan, is that what you said?" I said very pointedly in his direction. I had hoped that nobody else had caught his slip, but apparently that was too much to ask for. I put the last bite of toast in my mouth and chewed in displeasure.

Obi-Wan’s eyes went wide as he looked to me. “No?”

“Oh, very convincing.” I scoffed. “Tooka’s already loose. There’s a big difference between just not saying something and outright lying about it.”

The fact that Anakin looked just as confused and curious as Ahsoka meant he had at least managed to go through all yesterday and last night not mentioning the triplets. So that was at least once point to his credit. But really, he had _one job_.

He winced apologetically before turning to the others. “I wasn’t supposed to say anything for a couple more days. Just until we got all the medical data back.”

Anakin was quick to ask, “Why, is something wrong?”

“Not wrong per se, everything looked fine on the scans, but there was one more test we were waiting on before breaking the news, just in case something _is_ wrong. But the scans yesterday showed that Kenna’s having triplets.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Really?” Anakin said with a broad, excited smile. “Triplets!”

“You mind keeping it down?!” I hissed, aiming a sharp kick to his shins under the table. “I don’t think they heard you in engineering!”

“Ouch! Sorry,” he lowered his voice, but kept smiling. “That’s great, though! Why do you want to keep that quiet?”

“Because it’s not exactly a low-risk thing, is it?” I said tersely. “Until we know everything, there’s a chance that we might lose one of the babies, or all of them. You think maybe that’s something we might want to keep on the down low until we know for certain they’re all healthy?”

Anakin fell sober for a moment, “Yeah, I didn’t consider that.” He then smiled broadly again, “But that’s still exciting! Triplets! Three of them! Three little babies.”

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. “Easy for you to say. You’re not the pregnant one.”

“That probably explains a few things, though, doesn’t it?” Ahsoka added with a small smile.

“More than a few,” I admitted. “Certainly explains why I’ve been so tired and miserable for the last three months.”

“So then… do you know what they are?” Ahsoka asked. “You know, boys, girls?”

“No, we won’t know until the genetic analysis is complete. So… time to place your bets.”

I figured if the secret had to be out a couple days early, someone might as well have fun with it.

* * *

I was laying in what was not the most dignified position – flat on my bedroom floor, with my legs propped up the wall, my head cushioned on my pillow – but I was comfortable, and that was really most important. I realized that my back pain was most likely psychosomatic, as I hadn’t felt any pain prior to learning about the triplets, and nothing else would have changed much over the last two days, but that did little to relieve the twinges in my lower back. My swollen ankles however, weren’t psychosomatic. Thus I was killing two birds with one stone, propping my feet up the wall and laying on the hard floor – as the book suggested. According to the medical datapad I was now reading, my ankles weren’t supposed to start swelling for a couple more months, but I assumed the triplets were throwing everything out of whack, and with three times the babies to accommodate to, my body was going to change a lot faster than a typical pregnancy.

This was fine, I decided, at least it was manageable for now. I thumbed past the section on gestational diabetes, Kix had tested my blood yesterday and right now I wasn’t at risk for that at least. I had plenty to worry about without going into those details.

There was a knock on the frame of my open door. I looked up from my reading to see one upside down Jedi standing in the doorway.

"Come on in." As I began the entirely ungraceful task of taking my feet off the wall and righting myself.

Obi-Wan fixed me with a quizzical look. "Everything alright?"

"Perfectly fine. Just alleviating some of the symptoms that I have the ability to." I took his offered hand as he pulled me to my unsteady feet. “Who knew this datapad was actually full of useful information.”

"Kix probably knew. He’ll be glad you’re reading it."

"Well, I'm just covering my bases. I know you’ve memorized the whole thing, but I suppose you won’t be around every second of the day to protect me from dangerous food and drink." I added a slight, teasing dig, still a little annoyed at being robbed the opportunity to savor my last cup of caf for the next six months. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this midday visit?"

Obi-Wan's face grew suddenly very sober. "There is something I think we need to discuss."

About the babies, no doubt, what else could there be that had him cutting time from his busy schedule for a private discussion. I doubt he had gotten nearly as much work done yesterday as he wanted to after learning about the triplets.

"Yeah, okay. I've got time to talk. Have a seat." I gestured to my desk chair, the only real chair in the room. He sat down and I sat on the edge of my bed. "What's up?"

He took a moment to collect his thoughts before saying quietly, "I've only just realized we never discussed the possibility that you could have an abortion."

My eyebrows shot up and I felt a strange chill run down my spine. Abortion was... well not something I thought either of us were going to bring up. Not at this point. So, why bring it up now? Was it a Jedi thing? Had he been… encouraged by the Jedi Council to fix things during his talk with them the other day? Was he so ashamed of haven gotten me pregnant that he wanted the evidence gone? Would there be consequences for him back home for having fathered children? Jedi weren't supposed to have children. Hadn't he told me that our first day in the cage.

The triplets were a problem, our whole situation was a problem, but it wasn’t insurmountable. At lease, I didn’t think it was.

Did he want out? He had proclaimed that he would never abandon our children yesterday, but that was in the heat of an emotional moment, we had only just discovered they were triplets. I was frightened and freaking out, he would have said anything to comfort me. With a day to think about things, was he reconsidering the future? I wouldn’t blame him if he wanted out. Fatherhood had to be scary. That didn’t mean the thought didn’t scare me a little.

My mouth went dry and I asked, even quieter than he had broached the subject, "Do you _want_ me to have an abortion?"

He shot me a surprised look, as if he hadn't expected me to turn the question back on him. "I don't feel as if my opinion is particularly important."

I frowned at him. "It kind of is. You are the father."

"But you're the pregnant one. It's your body. You have to carry them through to term."

"Yeah, but they're your kids as much as they are mine. Surely you care one way or the other."

"Of course I do. I feel very strongly about the matter, but..." He looked uneasy.

"I'd like to know what you want before I tell you what I want. You brought it up, so you get to answer first. Do you want me to have an abortion?"

We met eyes for a long, quiet moment. I knew Obi-Wan was trying to get a read on me, and I wondered if I was as unreadable to him in this moment as he was to me. My stomach clenched nervously. I knew my answer, and I was almost certain about his, but since he had breached the subject now I was unsure.

What would I do if he said 'yes'? I knew he wouldn't force the issue, or try to change my mind if our answers differed, he would respect my choice. But if we were opposed what would that mean for us? Would there be resentment? Would I be abandoned as soon as we got back to civilized space? Would everyone else on the ship turn on me for defying Obi-Wan?

He finally said, "No."

I smiled gently back. "I don't want one either."

He didn't look entirely convinced. "You're certain? This pregnancy didn't exactly come around under the best circumstances, and... well, I would understand if you had considered it."

"Of course I considered it," I said quickly but with reassurance. "Obi-Wan nobody goes through an unplanned pregnancy without considering abortion. But..." I sighed quietly, unwilling to dredge up the memories, but needing to. "In the early days, when we were in the cage, I thought about it every hour of every day. I'd fall asleep praying for a miscarriage, and I considered trying to hurt myself to cause one, I- I even thought about asking you to do it once or twice."

His jaw clenched and his hands balled into fists, he wouldn't quite meet my eyes.

I continued somberly, "Truth be told, I didn't do it because I was more afraid of what those aliens would do to us if something went wrong than I was afraid of being pregnant. But that was then, that was _there_ , in the cage. Now that we're free and safe and far away from that place, I can't imagine not seeing this pregnancy through. Yes, it's scary being pregnant, especially with triplets, but it's an entirely different kind of scary than it was in the cage. I know it's not ideal, but I'm okay with being pregnant now. It's exciting, bringing our children into the world, and I'm... well I'm not entirely there yet, but I'm beginning to be happy about it."

I reached over and put my hand over his. "Have I convinced you?"

He put his other hand over mine, drew in a long breath and released it slowly. "Yes." There was no disguising the relief in his voice. "Yes, you have. I just, never want you to feel pressured into something you haven’t chosen."

“Neither of us chose this. But at least some good will come out of it. isn’t that making the best of a bad situation?”

“Yes, it is.”

“If I didn’t want to be pregnant, I would have done something about it already.” I dared a small smile and joked lightly to try and bring up the mood after such a somber conversation, "I do reserve the right to have my feelings flip-flop and swing as I go through hormonal and physical changes. Even when I'm huge and cranky and my back hurts constantly, and I hate your guts for making me this way, I'd still choose to go through with it."

He smiled back. "Those will be bridges we cross when we get to them."

My grin widened. "Just remember: I'm right, you're wrong, and everything is your fault. That should keep things running wonderfully smooth over the next several months."

"Such wise council. You are, of course, correct."

"See. You learn fast, Master Jedi. Our weird little arrangement might just work out after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Place your bets now, folks, on where the chromosomal chips will fall for the Kenobi triplets. We'll find out what they are next chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The genetic analysis on the triplets comes back and the genders of the triplets are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a short chapter, and I'm sorry, but I've had a rough last couple of weeks and was in desperate need for something fluffy. So I took out the more serious parts I had intended for this chapter and just kept all of the sugary fluff. I hope y'all like seeing Obi-Wan being an excited father.  
> We'll get back into some drama next week.

“I can’t believe I’ve been on this ship for two weeks and I didn’t know you had your own office. This is where you hide all day?”

“To be fair, it is technically Anakin’s office, but he never uses it so I have commandeered it.”

The office was indeed Anakin’s normally; I could see his touch all over the walls. About every clear surface had been plastered with posters of podracers and model shoots of high class speeders and star fighters, and on occasion actual blueprints and specs of starships. An extra table had been shoved into the back corner and turned into a workbench – piled high with half-finished projects and abandoned tools. The only things I was certain weren’t Anakin’s were the neatly stacked piles of datapads on the desktop and the scattered assortment of empty tea cups.

“I think you might have a slight addition,” I teased as Obi-Wan hurried to stack the empty cups together and clear them off to the work bench.

“There have been a lot of late nights and early mornings,” he said with chagrin.

“Well, consider it good practice for the triplets.”

He breathed a laugh. “I’ll be sure to stock up on strong caf and tea.”

I leaned against the now clear desk and placed a hand over my belly. Kix would be along any minute now to tell us what the triplets were, and if they were all healthy. I’d thought a lot over the last few months what the baby would be – well _babies_ now – and I had long ago decided I didn’t have a preference. I wondered if Obi-Wan had thought about it nearly as much as I had, if he had a preference.

“So, what do you think they’ll be? Boys? Girls? Any one in particular you’re hoping for?”

“Not really. I just want them to be healthy. You?”

“Same. I guess we’ll just get to be pleasantly surprised with whatever Kix brings back.”

As if summoned, a moment later there was a knock on the open door frame and the very same medic was standing there with a datapad in hand. He stepped into the office and closed the door behind him.

“No sense in dragging it out,” he said without preamble, “I’m sure you’re both anxious to know what I have. First thing’s first, the genetic analyses all came back clear. No abnormalities to raise any red flags. All three of them are as whole and healthy as can be.”

“That’s really wonderful,” Obi-Wan said with not a small amount of relief in his voice. I agreed, breathing a huge sigh of relief. I rested my hand over my bump again; everything was all right in there, everyone was healthy.

“Now comes the fun part.” Kix paused for a moment, a gleam in his eyes. He was on the brink of a smile, and I had to imagine that as a combat medic he didn’t often get to share anything like good news with a patient. Taking care of a pregnancy, while outside of his wheelhouse, was probably a breath of fresh air.

Kix fiddled with his datapad for a moment until three empty blocks floated above it in projected hologram.

“Really making an event of this, aren’t you Kix?” Obi-Wan said lightly.

“This is probably the only time I’ll get to do this, General. Humor me.” Kix grin widened. “Last chance to place bets.”

“You’ve collected enough credits around the ship.”

Kix laughed. “Can’t blame a man for trying.” Hepressed a button on the datapad. “It’s a girl.” One of the boxes flashed away to reveal two X-shapes, no doubt to represent the chromosomes. He pressed the datapad again. “It’s a girl.” Another box was replaced with two X’s.

Two girls already! My eyes locked on the last box, wondering what chromosomes would be revealed with the next button press. A boy maybe? Two daughters and a son would be a nice combination.

“And,” Kix pressed the buttons one last time. “It’s a girl! X chromosomes all across the board.”

“All girls?” I said with a weak laugh. I stared as the rotating pairs of X’s floating above the datapad. Three girls.

“Daughters,” Obi-Wan whispered. His hand was resting on my shoulder and I felt it tighten slightly. I looked to him curiously. He had said he didn’t have a preference, but was he disappointed that at least one of the triplets wasn’t a boy? What man didn’t like the idea of a son? But he didn’t look disappointed. There was a strange expression on his face as everything sunk in, a mix of emotions, but he broke into a wide grin. “Daughters!”

I matched his grin and squeezed his hand.

“Daughters of Kenobi, kind of has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?” Kix said, with his own smile. Then his smile faltered a little, “Speaking of, I don’t think the leak came from med bay, but rumor of the triplets has been making its way around the ship.”

“Yeah, that’s not a surprise. _Somebody_ couldn’t keep his mouth shut for twelve hours.” My words were pointed, but I said them with a smile. “Of course, once Anakin knew, he had to shout it for the whole mess to hear.”

“That does explain some things,” Kix laughed. “Well, on the bright side, this way saves any big announcements. General Skywalker can just get the news and tell everyone.”

“Isn’t that how all open secrets get handled on this ship?” Obi-Wan asked dryly.

Kix collected his datapad. “Well, medical, at least, knows how to keep their mouths shut. I can’t speak for anyone else. I’m off. You know where to find me if you need me.” Kix waved and turned on his heel and left us alone again in the office.

Obi-Wan turned back to me with a misty smile. “I still can’t believe it. We are going to have three daughters. May I?” He reached out a hand.

“Of course.”

He placed a hand on my belly over our children. The three of them were still so small that together they could fit in the palm of his hand. I put my hand next to his and imagined what it would be like in another six months, when they were born, another year, another six, sixteen. I smiled warmly down at our children. “These three are going to give me so much gray hair.”

“They were destined to be troublemakers, regardless of gender, look at who they will have for role models in Anakin and Ahsoka.”

I grinned. “Keep talking like that and I’m going to steal them away from all of this corrupting influence.”

He chuckled, “As if Anakin would let you run away with my daughters like that.”

“Well, I guess you will just have to work extra hard to make sure he doesn’t ruin them entirely.”

“That’s a promise I’m afraid will be entirely impossible to keep.” Obi-Wan knelt down. He cupped his palms around our children and leaned in close and muttered, “You three are going to be loved so much, but so _incredibly spoiled._ ”

I smiled and didn’t argue. Between the Jedi, myself, and the clones who I knew were warming up to the idea of their General’s kids, these girls would probably wrap half the army and the Jedi Order around their little fingers before they were old enough to read.

We didn’t bother waiting to tell Anakin and Ahsoka. I knew that as soon as Anakin knew that we knew what the triplets were he would get the information from me or Obi-Wan one way or another. So rather than letting him stew in the anticipation, we tracked down the Master and Padawan in one of the training rooms. They were running through a very intense sparring match, using all surfaces of the room to their advantage – the two of them even leapt up to the rafters for some entirely unnecessary acrobatics – before coming to what looked like a draw to me.

“I almost had you that time,” Ahsoka boasted as she deactivated her sabers.

“Almost still isn’t beating me, Snips.”

They bickered lightly as they crossed the sale floor, taking a drink of water and toweling off the sweat before Anakin asked. “So, did you talk to Kix?”

“We did.” Obi-Wan replied. “The triplets are girls.”

“All three of them?” Ahsoka asked with a small, delighted gasp.

“Yep,” I said, smiling back at her.

“Yay!” She bounced on her feet and clapped her hands together. “Three little girls! Oh, they’re going to be adorable!”

Anakin on the other hand, was less than pleased. “Damnit!” He hissed, though he was still smiling. “I was certain they were boys. I bet on them and everything.” He pointed an accusatory finger at Obi-Wan. “You know it’s your fault they’re girls. I think you should pay me back.”

“I will do no such thing, Anakin. It’s not my fault you are a poor gambler. You shouldn’t have been betting on the triplets in the first place.”

The two of them began bickering. I had to smile. With those two watching over them as they grew up, the kids would be all right.

That night I dreamed of my daughters. The three of them were full grown, copper-haired and hazel-eyed, they were dressed like Jedi and carried lightsabers. They were happy and strong, confident and loved. They laughed with each other, and teased each other. I watched them as an invisible observer and saw them so clearly I could count the freckles across their noses. Though I hadn’t even begun to think of names, I knew each one so clearly in my heart. The one who wore her hair down in loose curls had been mute through childhood, and even now preferred to communicate with her sisters in their own special sign language, she was the mischievous one, finding adventure wherever she could. The one who kept her hair tied back in a tight ponytail because she hated the feeling of loose hair against her neck was the peacekeeper, always settling arguments and talking her sisters out of trouble. And the one who kept her hair cut short, she had a sharp grin and a short temper, the first to pick a fight out of boredom but also the first to step up in defense of another.

I saw my daughters. I saw myself. I saw their father. I saw where they were identical and where they were individual. All through the night, I watched them simply exist in my dreams, and for the first time in a long time I had no nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And for those of you that guessed the triplets gender's correctly, you get an internet cookie! It's your favorite flavor!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A month has passed since the cage, they are closer to home, but not there yet. Kenna struggles to adapt to her changing body. And there is a disturbance in the Force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter exists because I want to be part of a certain sandwich and I am jealous. Also because I'm just having too much fun chucking canon in a blender, hitting puree, pouring that out, spinning it around in a centrifuge, and skimming out only the choicest bits that make my brain make the happy juice. I hope that you all are having at least half as much fun as I am.

I tossed and turned in my bed. I had been lying awake for hours, and as desperate as my brain and body were for sleep, it would not come. We were a month free from the cage, a month closer to home, and a month further into my pregnancy. The triplets were now obviously visible, and as my belly had grown, I was no longer comfortable sleeping in my preferred position on my stomach. Adapting to different sleeping positions was not easy, no matter how many extra pillows I added to my bed. If I found a comfortable position, my brain fixated on a worrisome thought, and it would plague me until the position became uncomfortable and I obsessed over finding a new position. I gave up checking the time around midnight, but I had a feeling that hours had passed.

My brain was beginning to obsess on its new favorite anxiety, childbirth, when hard knuckles rapped on my door. I fell still for a moment and looked through the dark towards the door. Who could possibly be bothering me at this hour? Or… had I drifted off and half-dreamt the knocking.

"I know you're still awake in there," Anakin called through the door.

Not a dream then. I got up and opened the door. The hall lights were bright, always bright, they never dimmed for a night cycle. Anakin saved my eyes from the worst of it by blocking the light. He was dressed for sleep, soft black pants, shirtless, with a robe thrown over his shoulders, but he had that tired, near-homicidal look people got when they were robbed of sleep – had I looked in the mirror, I was certain my expression probably matched his. I didn’t bother asking how he knew I was still awake; there was a lot I had begun to write off as ‘Jedi stuff’ over the last seven months of my life.

"I can sense you tossing and turning," he said. "What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep. Can't get my brain to shut up. Can't get comfortable."

"C'mon. I can help, and I want to sleep at some point tonight." Anakin took my wrist and pulled me across the hall.

I had never seen the inside of Anakin's quarters before. They were bigger than my room, furnished similarly to mine, though more lived in, crates sat in corners and unfinished projects scattered on a workbench and across the desk – that seemed to be a pattern for Anakin, projects left in his wake to keep himself busy during down time – the main difference was his bed. He had a real bed, not just a bunk set into the wall. It was big enough to sleep two adults comfortably, and plusher than mine. There were more pillows and softer blankets. Command had its privileges I supposed. Though if sleeping continued to become increasingly difficult throughout the remainder of this pregnancy, I made a note to myself to make demands for a bigger and softer bed too.

Obi-Wan clearly wasn’t using his bed. So it was open for commandeering.

He was sleeping soundly on one side of the bed. I hesitated, but Anakin was gently insistent. He glared briefly at the gently snoring Jedi before reaching out with one of his long legs and kicking him in the middle of his back.

Obi-Wan groaned lowly and checked the time as he woke up. "Anakin, it's 0300. What do you want?"

"Help me put your _ik’ade buir_ to sleep."

I blushed slightly at the nickname. It had been affectionately bestowed upon me by the clones, and I had only recently learned what the Mando'a translated to. It wasn’t a title I ever thought I would have in my life, but given the circumstances it _was_ fitting.

Obi-Wan finally woke up enough to realize I was trailing behind Anakin. He sat up quickly. "What's wrong?"

"She can't sleep, and I can't sleep until she does."

Obi-Wan fixed Anakin with a confused look, but he scooted over and patted the bed for me to sit down. "Tell me what's keeping you up."

The bed smelled like Obi-Wan, and I wondered if he ever actually spent a night in his own bed next door. I sank into the soft mattress and ran my fingers nervously over the soft blanket. It was so much more comfortable than my hard little bunk. That settled it, I was absolutely going to commandeer Obi-Wan’s unused bed. If command had its privileges, pregnancy did too. But that wasn’t going to solve my immediate problem tonight. We all wanted to sleep and changing rooms was going to take time.

I explained again about my brain refusing to shut down, my restless and exhausted body, and my inability to sleep on my stomach anymore.

"I can help with that. Lie down, get comfortable."

I felt more than a little awkward lying down in the middle of Anakin and Obi-Wan's bed, but the Jedi hardly seemed to care. Anakin just wanted to finally sleep, and Obi-Wan wanted to go back to sleep. It took me a minute to find a comfortable position.

"Close your eyes, relax your mind. Is it okay if I touch you?"

I told him it was. I was facing away from him, lying on my side, he placed his hand on my head, fingers brushing my temple. I felt a growing sense of peace and calmness settle in my mind, a subconscious suggestion to let my worries go, a gentle reminder that I could fix none of them at the moment, they would be there in the future, I was allowed to sleep.

"Count your breaths."

I did, silently counting in and out. I got to three when something interrupted me, a tight ache in my back that demanded I move. Before I could even shift, he asked, "Where does it hurt?"

"My back."

Fingers massaged gently at the tight muscles; the pain eased. I started counting again. I got to fifteen before a new discomfort arose.

"My knees."

Another hand rested over my leg; the pain disappeared. I registered vaguely that Obi-Wan didn't have three hands. I found Anakin's touch as soothing as Obi-Wan's. I breathed, I counted, I got to fifty, I was just on the brink of drifting off. Then that stomach-jolting butterfly feeling of the babies moving filled my abdomen. I ran my hand over my belly; they were still too small to feel anything on the surface. Another hand fell next to mine, and then a third.

The babies settled. I felt safe, a deep sense of peace washed over me. I started counting again, I drifted off somewhere around twenty.

I woke up wrapped up in limbs. Anakin had his arms around me, his face buried in the back of my neck, his flesh hand resting over my belly. I felt rested, comfortable in a way I hadn't been in months. It was early, but the four or so hours of sleep I had gotten felt more rejuvenating than a full eight.

Obi-Wan was also awake, he was close and had his arm thrown across me to hold Anakin. He smiled when he saw I was awake too.

"How did you sleep," he whispered.

"Incredibly." I sighed in contentment. "If you could bottle that up, nobody in the galaxy would have insomnia."

"It's not completely foolproof." His eyes flicked from my face to Anakin, still asleep. "He didn't sleep so well."

Anakin tensed for a moment, holding me tighter, burrowing deeper into my neck. It passed after a moment, he relaxed back into deep sleep. Obi-Wan reached over and brushed some hair from his face.

"Something is bothering him, but I do not know what. He's been like this for a few days now and, of course, he won’t admit anything is wrong."

"He did seem particularly agitated last night."

"I think dragging you over here was more for Anakin's benefit than yours."

I smiled shyly. "I don't mind. It was the best night's sleep I've gotten in a long time."

I fell still and quiet as Anakin held me tighter again. It only lasted a few seconds, then he relaxed. I would have stayed there as long as it took for Anakin to finally wake, but I was dealing with my own urgent needs.

"I have to pee," I whispered.

"He's deep asleep, I don't think you'll wake him if you get up."

Carefully, I unwrapped Anakin's arms from around me, and scooted out of bed. My trip to the 'fresher was quick, but my absence was noticed. By the time I got back, Anakin was sitting up, fully awake, confused and concerned, it faded when I reappeared.

"Thanks for that last night. Best sleep I've had in months." I didn't move to join them back on the bed. "I should go get dressed."

Anakin dug the heel of his palm into his forehead like he had a headache, he didn’t say anything. Obi-Wan spoke up, “We will meet you shortly for breakfast.”

I backed out the door, not thinking about what it might look like if someone saw me leaving, not even thinking that I might get caught. But as I stepped into the hallway, I ran into one particular, young togruta. I tried to stammer an explanation, even though literally nothing had happened. Ahsoka simply grinned slyly and commented about Master Skywalker finally getting some sleep, before she walked off to the mess hall.

I felt my face burn red as I hurried into my own room to shower and dress. I tried to figure out how to explain what happened to her. I didn’t want her to assume I was part of some threesome with her Jedi masters. Except, I realized, we already kind of were, even if one third of said threesome was really only in it for the platonic benefits. Skywalker and Kenobi were a pair, and if I was precious to one, I was precious to the other.

I beat the other Jedi to breakfast, but Ahsoka was there, taking her sweet time over her breakfast and morning caf. I sat across from her and said in a rushed undertone, “Look, Ahsoka, what you saw this morning—"

She raised a hand to cut me off, “You don’t have to explain. I heard Skyguy drag you from your room last night, and five minutes later you were both actually asleep for once. It’s about time. Between the two of you, I don’t know how Obi-Wan gets any sleep.”

My cheeks grew warm again. “I didn’t realize my insomnia was so disruptive.”

“It’s not usually, but Skyguy’s been so ramped up about something over the last couple days, I think he accidentally amplified you.”

I shook my head and dug into my breakfast. “I don’t think I’ll ever really understand all your Jedi stuff.”

“You don’t have to.” Ahsoka chewed over her last bite thoughtfully. “The thing about Anakin is he doesn’t ever ask for help. Not when he really needs it. He deflects and defers and finds some way to fix his own problems by fixing somebody else’s.”

“I’ve noticed.”

The other Jedi finally joined us, and the breakfast conversation fell into more of the normal type for life on the ship. Except Anakin hardly took his eyes off me the entire meal. He kept sneaking glances as if afraid I might disappear or keel over. He was making me nervous, and I was a little happy when the others split off for their normal daily duties and I was left to my own devices. I returned to my room, picked up my tablet, and decided to camp out in the observation deck to finish up a painting.

I was unsurprised when less than an hour into it, Anakin showed up in the doorway, looking immensely relieved to find me exactly where I said I was going to be.

I let him look over my shoulder; I was trying to recreate that gorgeous nebula from memory, the one we were stopped at when I learned about the triplets. I had taken quite a few creative liberties, though, as my memory was admittedly a little fuzzy. That day I’d had plenty of other more pressing things on my mind than memorizing the view outside the observation deck. Still, it had been a very memorable sight.

He made some noncommittal compliment and took to pacing in front of the windows. I noticed that every couple minutes he would falter in his pacing, gripping at his stomach as if it pained him, but when questioned, he insisted it didn’t hurt. He didn’t even realize he was doing it.

Finally, I couldn’t take the brooding anymore. “Do we need to talk about last night?”

“No. What for?”

“You’ve been acting weird all morning.” I watched him scowl at his reflection in the window. “I know you didn’t have any ulterior motives last night, you just wanted to help me sleep. It was actually really nice, in a very platonic way. So, thank you.”

He grunted some acknowledgement and kept staring at the streaks of hyperspace. His frown deepened, he gripped his stomach again with one hand, and rubbed at his forehead with another.

“Tell me what’s bothering you,” I prompted gently.

“I don’t know how to describe it,” he finally admitted.

“Try using words,” I suggested dryly. “I am not a psychic wizard.”

“Then you wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.”

“My head hurts. It’s been getting worse all day.” He finally turned to look at me directly.

“You get migraines, right?”

“Yes, but I don’t think it’s that.” He picked up pacing again, keeping me in his eye line. “When… when I’m not with you, I feel this crushing sense of guilt. I don’t know where it’s coming from, or why. I sense the Force is trying to send me a message, to tell me something important, but I can’t understand it. I have this… this pit inside me.” He gripped his stomach. “I feel like I’m missing something very important, but I don’t know what.” He stopped pacing and stared at me intensely. “But when I’m around you, when I’m with you, I feel… better in a way.”

I thought for a moment. “Well, as I understand it, you’ve been active since the beginning of the war, right? A new battle, a new planet almost every week. You’ve never really stopped or been able to focus on one problem for longer than a campaign. But when they kidnapped Obi-Wan, you dropped everything to find him. You left the war and everything else behind. I mean… you abandoned your post, didn’t you?”

He did an awkward little nod-shrug-shuffle.

“You left behind people you cared about, good soldiers, and Jedi friends, and an ex-wife. You left an entire war behind. You haven’t had much communication since entering Wild Space. That’s a lot of unfinished business and loose ends to just drop so suddenly. By the time we get back, you’ll have been gone for almost a year. And when you left, you thought you were just rescuing Obi-Wan, but I came along too, with my… extra baggage. I understand having anxiety over everything you left behind and wondering what the galaxy would have become in your absence. Things could change forever in a single night.”

“But that doesn’t explain why _you_ are the only thing that makes me feel better right now.”

I shrugged. “I’m something to protect, and right now, I don’t need any protection. Maybe your mind takes solace in knowing I am safe.”

Anakin considered my words for a long moment. I couldn’t tell if he agreed with anything I just said, but at least it got him to stop pacing for a minute. “The Force is trying to tell me something. Something big. Something bad? I don’t know. I’m staying with you, just in case.”

“Alright.” I turned back to my tablet and studied my painting. Something was missing, but I couldn’t figure out what. “So long as you’re here, you can be useful. I need your artistic eye.”

We passed the rest of the morning in the observation deck. Anakin’s headache got worse, as did his phantom stomach pains, though he never uttered a single complaint. He checked in on me often, made sure I hadn't suddenly heard the creeping specter of death call my name. And when my words weren’t enough to assuage him, he spent a good minute or two holding me, checking me and the babies. It was disruptive, but if it helped him, I wasn’t going to tell him to stop.

I had just finished the last touches on my painting, and was about to suggest we break for lunch, when I heard Anakin cry out in pain. He crashed to his knees on the floor, gripping his head tightly, doubled over in pain.

I rushed to his side, mind scrambling over whether I could even help him or if I should run and find somebody who could. As soon as I touched him, he sprang into motion, grabbing me and pulling me into a tight embrace. One arm snaked around my waist while the other crossed my shoulders. He held me like he was dying, and I was the last embrace of a lover. He didn’t speak, he hardly moved, he just buried his face in my shoulder and drew ragged breaths. It wasn’t comfortable, but he wasn’t hurting me either. I tried to talk to him, but got no response, he didn’t seem to even hear my voice. I had a feeling that Anakin’s mind, his consciousness was gone somewhere far out of my reach.

I heard running footsteps, and both Obi-Wan and Ahsoka burst into the observation deck, breathless from their sprint from opposite corners of the ship.

“What happened?”

I tried to explain, but I’m not sure I made much sense. The Jedi knelt on either side of us, hesitant for a moment to touch Anakin.

“It’s like he’s not even here,” Ahsoka breathed.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and touched Anakin’s shoulder, calling out to him. For a minute, nothing changed, then, like he was coming out from a trance, he drew a deep, gasping breath, and finally loosened his hold on me. He didn’t let go entirely, but I was able to shift into a more comfortable position. His hand moved to my belly and stayed there for a long while.

“Did you sense that?” he asked hoarsely.

“That great disturbance in the Force? Yes.” Ahsoka sounded spooked, her voice wavered.

“Not just that,” Anakin insisted. He blinked rapidly, his brow furrowed in focus. “I saw… I saw so much. And I can’t remember. New starbursts of life, and great darkness. It… it _devoured_ them. And the Jedi, but… it also didn’t. I saw a constellation and a black hole stealing its light. It was all so far away.” He growled and shook his head. “I can’t make sense of it.”

“All I sensed was the new life,” Obi-Wan said soothingly. “Some new, incredibly powerful Force sensitive must have been born. If you believe they may be in danger, we can warn the Council. Perhaps they can find them before anything happens.”

A plan of action seemed to calm Anakin more than anything. We hurried to the communication room, but our current position kept us from receiving even the furthest flung signal to piggyback off of to Coruscant. Unless a fleet made a sudden change in position, it would be two days until we were in proper position to make the connection.

Anakin hardly let me go in those two days. Whatever his vision had shown him it had done nothing to ease his anxieties. He held me like a child might their favorite plush animal. If we were just standing around, he liked to hold me around the waist and pull me against his chest, resting his chin either on top of my head, or on my shoulder.

I didn’t sleep once in my bed. Instead my nights were passed sandwiched between Anakin and Obi-Wan, lulled to sleep by the peaceful mind of one Jedi, and myself dragging the other one into restful oblivion. I slept well at least; I couldn’t complain. And it seemed, despite his inability to let me go, that Anakin slept a lot better through the night in the aftermath of his vision.

Even so, I could only tolerate playing teddy bear for so long, and by the time we got within communication range, I was desperately hoping that whatever news Coruscant brought, it was good news.

I was brought into the communication room for the call by Anakin, by this point he could barely stand to be apart from me for more than a few minutes. I know I wasn’t the only one who hoped this call home would bring him solace, or at least ease his exponentially building anxiety. I had to admit to being a little nervous, considering how my last, and only, call to the Jedi had gone, but at least this time I knew I was only here for moral support. If everything went right, I could just stand off to the side and say nothing and go unnoticed.

It took longer than normal for the call to connect, as Anakin so impatiently demanded to know what was taking so long. Obi-Wan told him to be patient and the clone technicians did what they could to strengthen the signal.

There was another long moment of nothing. Anakin huffed and drummed his fingers against his biceps. Even I began to wonder if they were even there to take the call. Did the Jedi temple have an answering machine? When the call finally connected, only one Jedi appeared in the holo, Mace Windu.

He did not seem at all surprised for us to call unexpectedly, thought I felt him studying me intently. Anakin explained what he could of his vision, the new lifeform, the encroaching darkness and danger.

Windu’s response was carefully measured. “Yes, we know of these children, twins. They were born here on Coruscant. I would be surprised that their birth resonated so powerfully that it reached you but—" He cut himself off, deciding against his first choice of words. “We also expected their presence would draw danger. Their mother agreed to let us shelter her and them here within the Temple until we can be certain the danger has passed.”

Anakin’s relief was immediate. His hand finally lifted from where it had been resting, hidden on my back. “There is no safer place.”

“On that we can agree.” Windu turned his attention to Obi-Wan, his eyes sliding critically over me in the transition. “Have you any new updates? It has been a month since you last contacted us.”

“You have been kept appraised of our position, we estimate another seven weeks of travel before we enter settled space again. And you received the data packet we sent about the colony?”

“Yes.” His eyes looked over me again, he looked concerned. “Anything else.”

“Well…” Obi-wan shifted uncomfortably, he glanced to me, seeking permission to tell. I shrugged and nodded. It wasn’t like the triplets were going to stay secret. “When our medical databases received the updated information, the scans were able to illuminate some new information.”

“Would you care to illuminate me?”

“It turns out, that the… experimentation done on us has resulted in triplets.”

The strangest expression crossed Windu’s face. I thought it was the exact impression a person would make the instant they decided it was time for them to retire. He stared for a moment, blinking slowly, as he drew a deep breath and released it. “Did I hear that right? You said _triplets_.”

“Yes.”

“Triplets as in—"

“As in three babies, yes.”

I felt his eyes on me again, taking in the curve of my belly that was bigger than it had any right to be at this point. Windu pinched the bridge of his nose, and I swear I heard him mutter “Force, help me.” under his breath. He lowered his hand and sounded suddenly very weary. “I will update the Halls of Healing. Any other updates? You haven’t found another Sith Lord out in Wild Space, have you?”

“No, nothing like that.”

“Good. Unless something drastic changes, you can continue with the normal reports for communication until you return to Republic space. May the Force be with you.”

With that, the holo blinked out of existence. Anakin turned to Obi-Wan with a quizzical brow raised. “What do you think that was about? Master Windu is usually so… unflappable.”

“I haven’t the slightest idea.”

I snorted a laugh as I turned to amble out of the room. “Probably because you informed him that there will be three miniature versions of _you_ running around in the future.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to do something different with the formatting next chapter. For the sake of moving the story along, I'm going to combine all the little scenes and vignettes that don't quite fit into their own chapters into a collection. So if you have any particular favorite tropes you want to see, this is the place to ask. (And I might even toss in something a little sexy *wink*)
> 
> Mando'a Translations:  
> ik'ade - babies  
> buir - parent  
> ik'ade buir - pluralized 'baby mama'


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kenna does some bonding with others on the ship as they make the long journey back to the Republic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the really long delay. January ended up being a really bad month for me personally, and February wasn't much better, and then all of a sudden it was March. So, here's a double update to make up for it.
> 
> This chapter is gonna be a bit jumpy, as I said before, I really am using this an an excuse to squeeze in all the bits I want to include without devoting entire chapters to each point. Because I really want to move the plot along. This will be the only chapter like this, I promise. Bonus tho, it's a longer than normal chapter because of it.
> 
> Next chapter is gonna be the little something-something sexy I promised. I was going to be just another section of this chapter but got long enough to be its own chapter. And I think it works out for those of you who might just want to skip the smut.
> 
> Enjoy!

Chapter 11

**In Which Force Bonds Are Discovered**

I scowled at the painting on my datapad screen in annoyance. It wasn’t turning out right, and I was getting tired of trying things to fix it and none of them working. I sighed and swore under my breath before closing the file. I was tired of looking at the stupid thing. I half considered deleting the file entirely but decided against that. Maybe after sitting in time-out for a few days I’d find something salvageable or worthwhile in the painting. But I knew it wasn’t going to be one of my favorites. Stupid painting.

I sighed again.

It wasn’t really the painting that was pissing me off. I was just… distracted. I hadn’t been able to focus on much of anything over the last few days. Being pregnant with nothing really substantial to distract me wasn’t a great combination. Actually, just being pregnant wasn’t great. My first, real craving had set upon me the other day, it hadn’t gone away, and I couldn’t find anything relieve it. On a ship with limited provisions, there was not a single blueberry to be found. It was… depressing. Particularly considering that my body had decided if we could not eat blueberries than we could not enjoy anything.

Which was a problem in its own right, as I was trying to grow three new people and still had to keep myself nourished in the process. I needed to eat, but I did not want to eat, and trying to force down something just made me nauseous, which made everything worse. My stomach growled lowly and clenched painfully. I hadn’t eaten lunch and breakfast has been sparse, and I was paying for it now. I could feel how low my blood sugar was and if Kix or any of the Jedi realized how long I had gone without a proper meal they’d probably throw a conniption. Good thing it was dinner time, though without blueberries, that sounded just as unappealing as breakfast and lunch had.

I looked down to my belly and put my hands over it. “You three are killing me,” I scolded the triplets gently. “It had to be blueberries, and not something we have available on the ship? You realize it’s another six weeks before we are anywhere close to someplace with blueberries, right? I have to be able to eat eventually.”

My stomach gave a queasy lurch in response. I sighed again and patted it gently. Maybe I could get away with skipping dinner too, I really didn’t feel all that great and an early bedtime sounded better than trying to force down some dinner. Maybe by the time I wake up tomorrow morning the craving will be gone.

“Kenna, you ready for dinner?” Obi-Wan was standing in the doorway, ready to collect and escort me to the mess hall.

“I’m not hungry.”

Obi-Wan crossed his arms, frowning at me. “Well, that is untrue.”

I shrugged and admitted, “Fine, I’m not hungry for whatever the mess has cooked up today.”

“I know, but you still have to eat.”

I pulled a face. “You make it really hard to be an irresponsible adult, you know that, right?”

He chuckled but stepped over to offer me a hand. “It is a habit carried over from training Anakin, I am afraid. Someone has to be the responsible one.”

“Oh yes,” I countered, taking his hand to lever myself out of my seat. I didn’t need the help, but it was still a nice gesture. “It’s very responsible to go diving headfirst out a skyscraper window.”

“I see Anakin has been telling stories again.”

“You can’t get mad if they’re true.”

“Keep talking like that and maybe I won’t share the surprise I found with you.”

I wavered a bit as I took my feet, my body reminding me for a moment how low my blood sugar was. Obi-Wan’s hands tightened around my arm to steady me. I swear I saw him have to take a moment and steady himself as well, but that may have just been my imagination as I waited for my balance to return. It really only lasted a second or two, but still it was noticed by the Jedi.

“Are you all right?”

“Fine,” I brushed him off, “Just… maybe hungrier than I should be.”

Obi-Wan sighed. “You skipped lunch, didn’t you?”

“And maybe breakfast too.”

“Kenna, you can’t do that.”

“Yes, thank you, I’m well aware of how much skipping meals isn’t great for my body.”

“You could hurt yourself.”

“Low blood sugar isn’t going to hurt me. Not long term. And it’s not like I’m letting it get dangerously low. It’s just leaving me a little tired and cranky is all.”

“And what just happened?”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m pregnant, I get dizzy every time I stand up. Doesn’t matter how much I’ve eaten.”

Obi-Wan made an unhappy noise in his throat but said nothing else. I bumped him with my shoulder as we walked towards the mess hall. “So, what’s this surprise you’ve got for me?”

“That I believe I’m going to keep until after you eat dinner.”

“Oh, I have to eat all my vegetables before I’m allowed to eat dessert?” I shot back teasing.

“Actually, yes.”

“Well now you have to tell me.”

“No, I don’t think I have to.”

Obi-Wan refused to even hint at what the surprise was throughout our entire meal, and I tried every trick in my arsenal to pester the information out of him. Anakin was apparently in on the surprise as well, and he, infuriatingly, was being rather smug and silent about it. Still, with the promise of a surprise, or perhaps just me being in a better mood to distract me I did manage to eat an entire meal without the babies deciding one ingredient or another was off-limits. (Though there was still a disappointed corner of my brain that reminded me with every bite that nothing I was eating was blueberry flavored.) And, I had to admit, having a full belly did help me feel a lot better in general.

And I was a much more contented person when the Jedi dragged me into one of several lounge spaces in the ship where people liked to gather during their off-duty hours. There were comfortable chairs and couches, a couple of holonet viewers, though they were useless as far out from the Republic as we were, and a scattering of other tables and chairs around the place for games or other recreational activities. And while the lounges were open to everyone, this one was most often frequented by the officers and Jedi and myself – I had established a favorite couch and everything over my time on the ship.

I scanned the lounge, figuring whatever the surprise was, it had to be here, but I saw nothing amiss. In fact, it was still rather empty, it was early enough in the evening that most clones were still on duty or eating dinner. So, no obvious surprise I could see. I turned to Obi-Wan. “You promised me a surprise after dinner. What it is?”

Obi-Wan produced a small package. Inside were individually wrapped purple-ish hard candies. I raised my eyebrow at him. “You know Kix told me I had to watch my extra sugar intake, right?”

“I think this counts as a reasonable exception to the rule.”

I took the candy and opened the package. It had already been opened and was probably half-empty and I couldn’t help but wonder where Obi-Wan had found half a packet of candy on the ship and why he thought it was a suitable surprise or gift. Then the scent of the candy hit me.

“Oh my god.” It was a little stronger than the real thing, strengthened with artificial flavoring and sugar, but it was undeniably blueberry-flavored candy. “How did you know?”

Obi-Wan’s knowing smile fell just a touch. “That might require some explanation.”

“What do you mean?”

Obi-Wan sank into his own favorite chair, facing my seat on the couch. He waited for me to settle in before explaining. “You remember what I told you about the Force, how it is in all living things.”

“Yes…” I blinked at him, so thoroughly confused about that my pregnancy craving for blueberries had anything to do with the Force.

“Well, it is not unusual for close individuals to create bonds in the Force and – oh, for Force’s sake, Kenna,” his brow suddenly creased with irritation, “please, eat one of those before I go insane.”

I was taken aback feeling a sudden flash of irritation. I looked between him and Anakin. Anakin was doing his best to keep his face straight, but he seemed on the brink of sheer entertainment over everything. “Are you feeling all right?”

“I’ll feel better when you have one of those candies.”

“Okay, fine.” I dug one out and unwrapped it. They had been tantalizing and tempting me with their perfect, craving-satisfying flavor, but I was trying and be polite and wait until after this discussion to eat one. The flavor melted across my tongue, not the exact flavor I had wanted, but close enough that I felt myself relax almost immediately. Across from me, Obi-Wan relaxed too. I offered him a candy, he rejected it.

“Those are for you. Trust me, I already tried one and it didn’t help.”

“Help what?” I frowned at him. “I’m so confused. First off, how did you know I was craving blueberries, because I know I didn’t tell anyone.” I hadn’t seen the point, considering I was certain there was nothing even remotely close to blueberries on the ship. “And second, why are my cravings bothering you so much worse than they’re bothering me?”

Obi-Wan shook himself. “As I was saying, the Force sometimes creates bonds between two people, particularly when they are close. I have bonds like this with Anakin, and Ahsoka, and several others.”

“And we have one of those bonds?” I concluded.

“Yes.”

“But I’m not like you, I’m not a Jedi.”

“But the Force is still in you, and because I am a Jedi, I can feel the bond much stronger than you can, but it is a reciprocal connection.”

“And these bonds… do what exactly?”

“Among other things, they can carry feeling and emotion between individuals. Or sometimes physical and physiological sensations.”

“Like pregnancy cravings?”

“Apparently yes.”

All the pieces fell into place. “Huh,” I breathed, settling back into my chair. “So, you said it was reciprocal, which means I can get your feelings and stuff too?” I laughed. “And here I thought my mood swings were just from the hormones.”

“Well, to be fair, I tend to keep myself filtered along all of my bonds by habit, but it is possible you have caught onto stronger emotions. I receive more from you than I broadcast. Actually, I only just realized we _had_ this bond. I didn’t think they could form so strongly from someone who wasn’t Force-Sensitive.”

“But I’m also pregnant with three potential-Jedi.”

“We don’t fully understand it, but that is a potential cause, yes. The triplets may be amplifying your presence in the Force.”

“So… what tipped you off about this bond?”

“Well,” Obi-Wan smiled again, “I suddenly got this insatiable craving for blueberries and could not alleviate it to save my life.”

Anakin finally chimed in, barely keeping the laughter from his voice. “You should have seen the way he went tearing through the ship for anything remotely close to blueberry-flavored.”

“Hence the surprise candies,” I surmised. “Where did you find them?”

“Some clones have a fondness for sweets, and one of them had the right flavored candy stashed away. I arranged a few trades to get ahold of them.”

“Aww, all of that for me?” I cooed playfully. “You really do care.”

Anakin added, with a smug smile. “He did it for himself too. I believe he described it as being ‘incapable of thinking of anything else’ until he found a blueberry.”

“Yes, thank you, Anakin, you’re so astute.” Obi-Wan said dryly.

We all laughed, but it was short lived as I realized something. “So… my constant broadcast into your brain is probably not a good thing, is it? Is there anything I can do to stop it?”

“Unfortunately, no. You aren’t Force sensitive and you can’t really control how you interact with the Force. However, now that I know there is a bond like this between us, I can sort of cap things off from my end and filter out the worst of it. In fact, I’ve already begun to do so, I just wanted to tell you about this. And forewarn you that there might be a slight ‘echo’ effect across the bond. So, if you feel any particularly stronger than expected emotional reactions, it very well may be that.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “I was already chalking that kind of stuff up to hormones, so now I just also have the Force to blame as well. Force stuff is weird.” I then realized something and added with a wicked grin. “You do realize that now that you’ve admitted to knowing all my cravings before hand it is you’re responsibility to ensure they are satisfied.”

Obi-Wan gestured to the bag of blueberry candies. “I thought that went without saying.”

* * *

**In Which Anakin Catches Foot-in-Mouth Disease**

Before I had become pregnant, I would not have imagined that a poncho would be my favorite piece of clothing, and yet, here I was, five months pregnant with triplets and living in my poncho. It was actually an ideal piece of maternity wear. The wool was thick enough to hide the fact that I had given up on bras unless absolutely necessary as my breasts were increasingly tender and bras were evil. And I could also get away with wearing the same shirt for two or three days in a row, which was a blessing because my already small selection of clothing that fit me was rapidly dwindling. And the poncho was also perfect for hiding my secret stash of snacks that I kept in a small pouch behind my back. Perfect maternity wear.

Unfortunately, as a wardrobe staple it did occasionally get dirty and require a trip through the laundry, which meant I had to spend a day wearing a bra all day, and a clean shirt, and I didn't get to have my snacks. It was a bad day all around. Also, it made my ever-rounding belly even more noticeable, which stupid men with a death wish couldn't help but comment on.

"Oh wow... you know without the poncho, you really can tell it's triplets."

The temperature dropped in the room and a collective stillness fell over the others. I felt all eyes on me as I turned very slowly to face Anakin. "Excuse me?"

He very quickly realized his mistake. "Wha- I mean... I didn't mean it like a _bad_ thing."

My eyes narrowed as I constructed the perfectly scathing remark.

Obi-Wan quickly hit Anakin's shoulder and muttered, "Shut up, Anakin."

Anakin didn't shut up. "I mean. You look great, Kenna! Really glowing. It's just the poncho hides things..."

I threw my scathing comeback out the window in favor of pure indignation. "Please, continue making unsolicited comments about my body. It's what every pregnant woman loves."

Anakin shut his mouth, finally realizing just how deep a hole he had dug himself.

Obi-Wan tried to say something, but I wasn't having it. I turned a very threatening finger and a deadly glare towards him. He also shut his mouth.

"Any of you are welcome to try growing three whole people inside you and see how your body turns out. You're fucking rude." I pointed back at Anakin. "Fuck you." I worked down the line to Obi-Wan, "Fuck you." Past him to Rex "Fuck you." (To which Rex muttered only after Kenna was out of ear shot "What did I do?") And then gestured all around the lounge, "Fuck all of you."

Then I turned on my heel and left the lounge, determined to never speak to any of them again or well... at least for as long as it took for them to learn some manners.

Did I realize in hindsight that I was having a completely irrational reaction to Anakin’s stupid comment? Yes. Did I care? No.

I gave them all the silent treatment for as long as it took for my temper to cool, which varied by the minute. The only person sparred my frosty silence was Ahsoka, who I forgave in a show of female solidarity. Also, because she understood the sign-language I used to communicate, and she seemed to have quite a lot of fun interpreting my glares and signs for the others on board – mostly because it gave her a free pass to swear. And who was I to correct her if she made some creative embellishments to my rapid hand signs? To be fair, almost everyone on board was passingly fluent in Galactic Standard Sign Language, but I was particularly proficient at it. There were no shortage of reasons for people in a mining colony to need to speak with each other without being able to hear.

I surprised even myself when my silent stint dragged out over an entire week. Every time I thought maybe it was time to give it up, someone (usually Anakin) made some stupid comment about my not speaking the petty little gremlin working my voice control center in my brain decided to add another day to the count. By this point it became a matter of pride to see if I could keep silent longer than Anakin could be annoying. Both Ahsoka and Obi-Wan warned me that I would be fighting an endless war, as Anakin would never _not_ be annoying to some degree, but I had to see for myself.

So, I went a whole week in a silent, cold war. No speaking and no touching which I realized pained Anakin and Obi-Wan more than they wanted to let on each time I slapped away their hands from checking on the triplets. The only exception to the rule was Kix and that was only on medical necessity.

It wasn’t exactly _fun_ or easy on my part. By the end of the week I was feeling the strain of my silence – mostly in my back, shoulders, and feet. No touching meant no back rubs or foot massages, which I had grown accustomed to over the last month or so as my body began hurting more.

It all came to an end one evening in the same lounge where this fight began. I was stretched out on the couch reading. Ahsoka was in the chair beside me playing a game. We were touching shoulder to shoulder, but otherwise not speaking. The door opened and let Obi-Wan and Anakin in. I had hardly seen them all day, they each muttered their own greeting. Obi-Wan scooped up his own datapad and settled into a chair. Anakin peeked over Ahsoka’s shoulders to see what she was playing before he looked at the other half of the couch where my feet rested.

“Can I sit there?” He asked with a nod towards the couch.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

“That’s a ‘no.’” Ahsoka translated with a quick look at my face.

“What, really? You’re still not speaking to me? It’s been a week!”

I flipped Anakin off.

Ahsoka piped up helpfully, “Kenna says-“

“I know what she said, Snips.” Anakin snatched up his datapad and dropped into one of the chairs next to Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan sighed, shaking his head, but made no further comment. Still, I signed to them, ‘ _That’s another day of silence._ ’

“Oh, come on! What’s it going to take for you to speak to us again?” Anakin spread his hands in helpless exasperation.

‘ _An apology for being such an ass would be nice._ ’ I signed sharply, because he never had apologized for commenting on my body in the first place.

“An ap-“ he looked to Obi-Wan for help. Obi-Wan merely gave him a significant look before turning back to his datapad. Anakin sighed shortly. “You’re right, I was an ass. I shouldn’t have said what I said to you, and I’m sorry.”

‘ _Better._ ’ I signed with a smirk before settling into my seat.

Anakin sputtered for a moment. Obi-Wan cut off whatever he was going to say back, announcing, “I’m going to find something to drink. Anybody want anything?”

I asked for a tea. Obi-Wan left to fetch drinks and left us alone – Anakin fuming in irritated silence, and Ahsoka and I doing our best to maintain composure. Not a word was spoken in the time it took him to return. My tea was hand-delivered and when Obi-Wan asked to sit at the end of my couch, I folded my legs for him to sit.

“How do you feel?” Obi-Wan asked. “My ankles have been aching all day, so I imagine your feet must be in agony.”

They were.

“I can fix that, if you want.”

I smiled. This was a nice apology too. I stretched my legs back out to put my feet in his lap. He held up a finger, “Ah, you have to ask for it.”

‘ _Please_.’ I signed with a smirk.

“Use your words, Kenna,” Obi-Wan smirked back.

I gasped. ‘ _Rude!’_

He took a sip of his tea. “I’m assure you, my dear, I can be just as patient waiting you out as you can be not speaking to us.”

“Ha!” Anakin tossed from his sulking behind his datapad.

Obi-Wan shot him a sharp look, “Must I share with everyone the reason I can hold out against an extended silent spell, Anakin?”

“No!” he said quickly.

“Oh, I think you do,” Ahsoka chimed in with a wide grin. “When did Anakin stop speaking to you?”

“Well, as I recall it was in protest of-“

“If you finish that sentence, you’re sleeping in the hallway tonight.” Anakin threatened.

“All right, all right, another time then, Ahsoka.”

I signed to Obi-Wan, ‘ _Smart, because I’m not sharing my bed either, even if it used to belong to you. Now about that foot rub._ ’

“You know what you have to do for that.”

I glowered at him. ‘ _Blackmailing a pregnant woman. I expected better from a Jedi._ ’

“It’s not blackmail, it’s clearly bribery.”

I kicked him off the couch. ‘ _I can’t be bribed.’_

“Oh, I know for a fact you can.” He dusted himself off and leaned forward with a grin. “But if you prefer blackmail, keep in mind that I know all your cravings before you do. Imagine what I can do with that foresight.”

My righteous indignation was too much to contain to silence. “You are a diabolical, evil mastermind! That is cruel and unusual punishment.”

He smiled and turned to Anakin. “I win.”

“And you’re betting on me too?!” I wasn’t really angry, and my mirth came through a little too clearly in my words. “You two are the absolute worst.”

“I was going to irritate her into speaking again eventually. At least I didn’t stoop to war crimes. How’s that feel?”

“Pretty good, considering I still beat you.”

“The both of you are terrible people.” I muttered with a laugh. “I am definitely filing this away for a formal complain when we get back to Coruscant. Now you owe me a foot rub.” I pointed at Obi-Wan. “And after all that I am not asking nicely.”

“Of course, I did promise you one.” He slipped my shoes and socks off and began working at my aching feet. It did feel _very_ nice, and I nearly forgave him for the past week on the spot. But there was a small part of my brain that had to have the last word, and I had to justify my silence for more than just petty stubbornness. So I said, “You’re all welcome for that refresher course on Galactic Standard Sign Language.”

* * *

**In Which Kenna Has an Age Crisis**

“Oh, yeah, I never saw it, that came out before I was born.” Ahsoka said with a shrug.

I paused, confused. “It’s not that old. I mean, I was still a teenager when it was brand new, and I know it was the hottest thing for kids at the time.”

Ahsoka shook her head. “It was before my time. I’m only sixteen.”

I paused. I blinked. Her words sunk in. “You’re only sixteen?!”

I knew Ahsoka was young, but somehow it hadn’t registered to me before exactly how young she was. I did some quick math, because she had just mentioned it had been almost three years since her first battle. “You were thirteen in your first battle!”

“Fourteen!” Ahsoka shot back defensively, “I was fourteen, and it was fine.”

“That’s not fine! You’re a child.”

“Yeah… well Anakin was only nineteen when the war started.”

“No!” I turned to face the other Jedi.

He looked at me alarmed. “It’s okay. I had trained for it! I’d been a padawan since I was nine, it was fine.”

“That’s not fine! None of this is fine!” I grabbed Anakin by the shoulders, pulling him in for a hug as if somehow I was actually capable of protecting him.

“Yeah… well Rex is only twelve!”

The clone muttered, “Why are you dragging me into this, sir?” He then must have seen the distress on my face because he quickly tried to add, “Kenna, it’s different for clones. We age quickly, we’re mature adults before they send us off to battles.”

His words fell on deaf ears. I wailed wordlessly, distraught. “Babies! You’re all babies!”

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was vaguely aware that I was definitely having a hormonal overreaction, but the much louder and emotional part of my brain was teetering on the brink a full meltdown because there were _actual children_ fighting this stupid war.

My emotional state was not helped at all when Obi-Wan added his two credits, even if it was in my favor. “She’s right. You are all children!”

“I am _twenty-two_!”

“Shut up, Anakin. You were barely an adult when you were given a Knight’s responsibility! We made you a General in the Army and put you in command of lives and battles. And Ahsoka, you’re still just a child and you’ve been held responsible for so many lives! How could we allow this to happen? How could we do this to you?!” Horror dawned slowly on Obi-Wan’s face. “Oh hell, we’ve put so many children through such trauma. For what? Nobody under the age of majority should have ever been put on the battlefield. How could we let that happen to you, Ahsoka?” He was on his feet now, pacing short tracks around the lounge.

“Wait a minute, you knew all of this already! You know how old we all are,” Anakin shot back, clearly confused. “Why are you getting upset over it now?”

Obi-Wan paused, finger raised to punctuate the point he was about to make. “That… that’s a good question.” His hand fell and he turned to look at me, “Oh, Kenna…”

I was still teetering on the brink of tears, and this pitying look he was giving me wasn’t helping anything. “What?” I sniffed. “What did I do?”

“Nothing,” Obi-Wan said reassuringly, “You’ve done nothing. It’s our bond. Your emotions are projecting onto me and then getting reflected back to you. It’s becoming an amplifying loop.”

My voice wavered. “I can’t control that.”

“I know. That’s on my end to take care of. Just… try and take a few deep breaths.”

I did, though they were closer to sobs than anything, but slowly that fiercely protective, heartbreakingly sad, paralyzing fear in my chest began to ease. Stifling another sob, I threw my arms out, catching Ahsoka with one arm, pulling Anakin in with the other, and I managed to grab Rex and pull him into the group hug.

“You’re all still just _babies_ ,” I whispered tightly, unwilling to let them go. “It’s not fair.”

Arms wrapped around me and held me close. Ahsoka rested her cheek against mine. I thought about my own childhood, my teenage years and my early twenties. While growing up on a remote colony hadn’t exactly been easy, and I had been through my share of loss before I was eighteen, it still was nothing compared to what Ahsoka and the clones and the Jedi were going through. It wasn’t a fucking war. The thought crossed my mind, wondering how many close friends and family the four others around me had lost just over the last three years. I held them all a little tighter.

* * *

**In Which Kenna Gets A Haircut**

I frowned at the end of my braid, running my fingers over the coarse and frizzy hair. I hadn’t gotten a haircut since before my kidnapping, and after six months in the cage and two months beyond that my poor hair was really beginning to show its damage. It was several inches longer than I liked, and though it was a minor annoyance, it was still an annoyance that I wanted eliminated. I would have cut it myself, but I already had personal experience that told me cutting my own hair was a terrible idea.

So I asked at dinner whether there was anyone on the ship who would be able to cut my hair. A lot of the clones differentiated themselves with varying hairstyles, so I figured somebody had to be not completely useless with a pair of scissors, but at the same time they also kept their hair cut very short, so maybe they were only good with clippers, and I didn’t really want my head shaved.

Ahsoka was unhelpful, as she had no hair, and neither Obi-Wan nor Anakin had anything useful to add other than Obi-Wan warning me to not let Anakin near my hair with scissors. Anakin protested this insult but then admitted with a shrug that there was a reason he didn’t cut his own hair either. So I asked a clone, and Rex was right there at the dinner table.

“Depends on how short you wanna go.”

“Not shaved,” I emphasized.

He thought for a moment. “Hmmm… Well, Tup has the longest hair, but I don’t think he cuts his own. I think Fives does that for him.”

“I just need my ends trimmed.”

“I’ll ask him.” Rex scanned the dining hall and found the clone he was looking for leaving the mess line with a tray. He called him over and the clone joined us at the table. Rex asked just as he sat down, “You cut Tup’s hair don’t you?”

“Yeah? Why do you ask?”

“Think you could give the _ik’ade’buir_ a trim?”

Fives raised his eyebrows and gave me a look. “I suppose. How much do you want off?”

“A couple inches, just to take off the dead ends.”

“Yeah, I can do that. Tonight? I’ll come get you when I’m ready.”

And so, a couple hours later I was following Fives into a part of the ship I hadn’t been in before. It wasn’t that I wasn’t _allowed_ to go into the clone quarters, I just hadn’t had reason to go there before. There was a brief lull in the hum of conversation around the area when I entered. I felt the heavy weight of eyes on me, but they turned back quickly. By this point, everybody on the ship knew who I was, and my presence was nothing more than a passing curiosity to most of them.

The room was almost courtyard-like, with doors leading off to what looked like bunk rooms peppered all along the walls. The common area was bigger than any of the other lounges around the ship and divided informally into sections. I saw clones maintaining their armor and touching up pain in one circle. In another a handful of them sparred with many more sitting around betting on the victors or antagonizing their brothers. Fives led me over to a space where a handful of clones were either cutting their brother’s hair or getting their hair done.

“So you all cut each other’s hair?” I asked, as I sat in the chair Fives indicated.

“Easier than doing it ourselves. But not every brother’s as good with a set of clippers. So those of us that are do this as a favor to the others. When one of us looks bad, we all suffer.”

I scoffed a laugh at the joke. Clone humor – that had taken some getting used to on the ship.

Fives sat me down in a chair and there was a series of greetings from the clones who were either getting their hair cut or doing the cutting. I recognized most of them and knew their names. Jesse was getting his head shaved so his distinct tattoo would be clearly visible, and the clone who was holding the clippers, Bluestreak, has his head wrapped in an opaque cap – either dyeing or bleaching his hair. Fives shook out my braid and combed my hair for a minute before spraying it down and going at it with the scissors.

Jesse’s head was shaved down once again, and while he checked for missed spots, Bluestreak disappeared into a nearby fresher to rinse out whatever he was doing to his hair.

“How do I look?” He asked several minutes later when he reappeared with dry hair, showing off his dye job.

“Really taking your name literally now, aren’t you, Bluestreak?”

Bluestreak had done exactly that. He’d shaved down most of his head, save for a strip in the middle, giving him an almost-mohawk, which he had bleached and dyed 501st blue.

The clone shrugged and smiled, “Might as well, right? Always wanted to, and since we have the down time now’s the time to do it.”

“Yeah, now you match your helmet.”

I mostly sat and listened to the clone chatter around me as he worked, simply enjoying the people watching. It wasn’t long before we were joined by the Jedi, with Anakin claiming that I had reminded him how much in need of a trim he was too.

Someone said, “Oh, General, I heard a new joke.” And that started a series of swapping jokes and funny stories. Some of which I knew if maybe given a twist or two, and some which were entirely new to me. After Jesse shared a particularly funny, if a little dirty joke, I had a memory spark and I knew it was too good to keep to myself.

“Oh, I’ve got a good one.” I said around giggled, shooting a look to the Jedi. “Earmuffs, if you don’t want to hear anything inappropriate. You ever hear the one about the Rodian in the Ryloth cantina?” Nobody had, so I began setting up the joke.

I finished the punchline to a raucous chorus of laughter. It was a good one, one of the golden standards that was guaranteed to get a laugh back home, and it wasn’t one I’d been able to tell yet, considering I was normally in the company of Ahsoka and it was not a minor-friendly kind of tale.

“ _Stars,_ that’s a good one. I’ll have to remember that, with all of the embellishments.” Jesse said appreciatively. “ _Ik’ade’buir_ has anyone ever told ya’ you swear like a poet?”

I held back a laugh. “Is that your polite way of telling me I have a foul mouth and swear like a spacer?”

“Worse than a spacer.”

“Well, I did live in a mining colony. Who do you think _teaches_ the spacers?”

From there the conversation drifted off to other topics, and I lost the thread a little bit while Fives asked me some clarifications about exactly how short I wanted to go. When I tuned back in they had gotten onto the topic of flying, of which Anakin was discussing very animatedly, and several of the clones – the pilots in the group – were reciprocating. I half tuned out again, because like Obi-Wan, flying wasn’t really my thing. I wasn’t trained to handle any starships, and using speeders was more of a chore than a thrill. Anakin must have caught onto my feelings about flying because he then started trying to convert me, expounding on all the beauty and fun of flying.

“And then when you hit an open stretch and can really open the throttle and just go all out,” He sighed wistfully. “Honestly, sometimes it’s better than sex.”

I laughed, “Anakin, that’s not a great metric. Anything can be better than sex.”

He looked at me like I’d grown a second head. “Okay, that’s a lie and you know it. Maybe some things, but-“

I cut him off, “I’ve had a sandwiches that were better than sex. Literally _anything_ can be better than sex.”

I heard Fives snicker behind me. “I hear that.”

I suddenly felt a very warm spark of solidarity with the clones all around me. I met Bluestreak’s eye as he tried to stifle a laugh. Then I turned to look full to Fives. “You too?”

“Our template was, so most of us clones are.”

I grinned widely. Being part of a majority wasn’t something I experienced very often, in regard to my sexuality or not.

Anakin gaped at me for a moment, before sputtering and turning to Obi-Wan. “I feel like I should be _offended_ on your behalf.”

Obi-Wan was barely containing his own smile. “Don’t be, Anakin. Kenna’s asexual.”

Anakin’s eyes went wide with understanding. “Oh, _Force_ ,” he said with a laugh, hitting himself in the forehead, “I thought you were a lesbian.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenna discovers that being pregnant really isn't all that great, and has a little help solving a particular problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pure smut, and thinly veiled set up to smut. There's no real story or plot here, so if you're not interested in the smut you can skip this chapter, no worries.
> 
> The rest of you, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> I am gonna drop a few content warnings for this chapter: consensual anonymity, brief body-negativity with regards to pregnancy, references to earlier events of the story and the trauma it left behind.

Chapter 12

For as much as this emotional bond between me and Obi-Wan had its benefits we were quick to discover its drawbacks. Having a direct window into the emotional state of a pregnant woman seemed like a blessing in disguise. Sure, Obi-Wan maybe had to keep track of where and why his emotions were swinging a little more consciously than before, but he also always knew when I was craving something and exactly what to bring me, and the not-so-phantom sympathy pains in his back and ankles were the perfect early warning system for the days when I needed a little more TLC at the end of the day. But the hormonal feedback loop had its failings when the inevitable horny-and-pregnant phases hit.

Maybe it wasn’t a _problem_ for Obi-Wan, he could always just drag Anakin off to a back room for a quick fuck when the hormones got too high to ignore. Anakin certainly wasn’t complaining, and he wasn’t either. And while I couldn’t say Obi-Wan wasn’t aware of the problem from his end, as soon as he had tried to bring it up I shut down the conversation immediately. In this situation there really wasn’t any way he could help me. It just sucked to be in my shoes for the time being.

I didn’t exactly have a ready and willing sexual partner on board who I could just secretly signal that I needed a quickie when I got too horny to think straight. In fact, being _horny_ in and of itself was a complete nuisance. How non-ace people ever functioned through hormonal periods like this was beyond me. And that was without the Force-carried emotional feedback making things even worse.

There’s a special kind of rage that happens when in the back of your mind you’re distantly aware that someone else is having an orgasm, and it does nothing to help _you_.

Trust me, I tried everything to help myself, but masturbating just wasn’t good enough anymore. And there wasn’t anybody I could ask either. I wanted nothing to do with anything going on between Anakin and Obi-Wan, even if they offered, that was territory I wasn’t at all comfortable in. Which left the clones, who were as ace as I was, and the thought of having sex with any one of them left me with the same ‘ew, nope’ feeling as considering having sex with anyone gave me.

Which meant on the whole horny-and-pregnant front, I was fucked, or well… more like super-extra- _not_ -fucked.

And because I was horny and couldn’t do anything about it, it turned into irritation. And of course, because I was irritated, the others took notice. And _of course_ , because others took notice they asked what was bothering me. Brushing it off as “hormones” was a good enough excuse for almost everyone except for one irritatingly nosey and persistent medic.

“You say it’s hormonal? We might be able to give you something to help balance that,” Kix offered.

I almost laughed. “I doubt it.”

“Don’t know until we try, and it’s clearly bothering you. No sense in suffering. Explain how it’s affecting you.”

“I’d really rather not,” I muttered, “It’s kinda personal, and embarrassing.”

Kix flashed me an unimpressed look. “I’m your medic. I’m your primary care provider. There’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

I laughed at that, a low scoff in my throat. “That’s a lie. I already know I’m your first pregnant patient, so this is all new to you.”

“Well, all right,” he conceded, “but I’d still like to try and help you. And I am still a medical professional. It can’t be _that_ bad.”

I considered him for a long moment. I really, _really_ didn’t want to have to talk about it. It was such a personal problem, and I was 100% certain there wasn’t a single thing the medic could do to help my little horniness problem. On the other hand, maybe confiding in one person might help somehow. (Though how it would help, I didn’t know)

“All right fine!” I snapped, feeling irritated and embarrassed with this whole ordeal. “If you must know I have been annoyingly horny for weeks now.”

Kix’s eyes went wide with understanding. “Ah.”

“And to make things worse, nothing I’ve done has really helped.” I hoped he would get what I was implying because I didn’t think I would bother spelling it out for him otherwise.

“Right,” Kix cleared his throat a little. “Well, the literature did say hormonal changes to the body could cause an increased libido.”

“I know,” I sighed shortly in frustration. “I just kind of thought it wouldn’t happen to me, since I’m ace and all. But apparently not, and I’m just shit out of luck considering there’s nobody I could _ask_ for help, you know.”

I felt my cheeks burning red. Nope, talking about it had not made me feel any better, and now someone else knew what was really bothering me. This was all so embarrassing, and I wanted nothing more than to melt through the floor and pretend like this conversation had never happened.

Kix was quiet for a long moment. He was thinking something over, and I hoped and prayed it was just a way to gracefully duck out of this awkward conversation.

Instead he said, “You know, you might not be as out of luck as you think. There might be a… willing volunteer.”

“I absolutely do not want-“

“I know,” he cut me off quickly. “But Kenna, us clones, we’re all ace too. We _get it_.”

“I’m not sure you do.”

He shrugged. “You basically want a few orgasms, right? No feelings, no emotions, nothing really awkward about it, just you getting what you want.”

“Well, it all sounds so sexy when you put it that way,” I grumbled sardonically. He wasn’t _wrong_ , that was kind of exactly what I wanted. But that raised several other problems. “It’s not that simple, though. Because it would still be sex. And I… if I know who it is, that’s just problems down the road. Plus, it would have to be reciprocal and I don’t think I can handle that. I’m too…” I trailed off, unable to fully articulate just how messed up the cage had made my view of sex.

Before the cage, sex had always been something that I knew I could put up with for the sake of a partner if I ever found one. It wasn’t a terrible thought, then, just not something I was going to seek out for myself. Now, after the cage, as much as we tried to make the best of our terrible situation, I knew I’d never be able to see sex through a completely positive lens again. I couldn’t bear the thought of actually having someone inside me again, no matter how horny I was.

“It wouldn’t necessarily have to be reciprocal. I could just be about you.”

I pulled a face because I hadn’t thought about it that way. Would someone really be willing to _just_ take care of my needs? That sounded a little too good to be true.

“That still doesn’t fix the fact that I don’t really want to do anything with _anyone_. And this is getting a little too deep into personal territory.” It suddenly struck me that Kix might have been offering _his_ help with things and I very much did not want to think about that. Sure, of all the clones on the ship, he was probably the one I was closest with, but that kind of came with the fact that he was my primary medical care provider on the ship, and we saw each other a lot. I quickly added, “I really don’t want to see _anyone_ like that, actually. It would be too awkward.”

“There could probably be some way to keep it anonymous, if that’s what you want.”

I wasn’t entirely sure _how_. They were clones, but they were all still individuals. It wasn’t like they were interchangeable.

“No. Nope.” I shook my head and got to my feet. “Not gonna happen. I think I’ll just suffer through the hormones and hope like everything else so far in the pregnancy it’s just a phase. It can’t possibly get worse than it already is, and other than being a little irritable, I’m fine. I’ll just deal with it.”

I beat a hasty retreat from med bay, bound and determined to just ride this hormonal shit out. Kix, to his great credit, made no further mention of it when we had check-ups. It was able to just fade into my memory as a briefly awkward conversation between a medic and his patient. Except my body had other intentions. Whether it was my hormones ramping up, or my mind knowing that there actually _was_ a way for me to get what I wanted, I found myself hornier than ever. It was not helped in the least by the fucking Jedi who were going at it like damn horny teenagers. And it did eventually become a mind-consuming thing that I could never entirely ignore.

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I pulled Kix aside and said in a low voice, “You know what thing we were talking about the other day? I want to do it, but I don’t want to know who it is.”

Kix nodded. “I’ll make the arrangements. It’ll be totally anonymous if you want. And, well, he’s going to have to know, but trust me, it’ll be kept quiet.”

“Fine.” There was no getting around one of the involved parties knowing entirely what was going on, but knowing I wasn’t about to be the hottest story passing around the ship helped ease some of my anxiety about the whole thing. God, I hoped whoever the ‘willing volunteer’ Kix dug up wasn’t going to kiss and tell.

Later that afternoon, Kix pulled me aside. “Tonight, your room, 20:30. Wear this if you don’t want to know.”

He passed over a piece of cloth, it was rather thick and sturdy, but soft, and about as long as my forearm. A blindfold. Yeah, that would keep things pretty anonymous.

I was in my room at the appointed time, sitting on my bed, staring at the blindfold in my hands. I had… prepared as much as I dared, still a little unsure about the whole thing. I was wearing a soft pair of shorts that I usually slept in, and I had changed out my shirt for the day to an oversized wrap-styled top – one of my real maternity shirts, I figured it would be easiest to take off. The chrono turned over and showed 20:30. I drew a deep breath and tied the blindfold over my eyes. It blocked out everything but the faintest hints of light around the top and bottom.

I secured the knot just as someone knocked on my door. “Come in,” I called, hoping my voice didn’t sound as shaky to him as it did to me.

I heard my door slide open, a couple footfalls over the threshold, the door slide closed again. Then a clone’s voice spoke. “Kenna? Are you ready?”

I could almost feel his eyes on me. I turned my head toward the general direction of the door and nodded. My ears picked up every one of his slow footsteps towards me. He stopped in front of me. I looked up, even if I could see nothing from behind the blindfold.

“Can I touch you?”

“Yes.”

I heard the rustle of clothing as he moved a little closer, I could hear him breathing. A hand touched my cheek and a flinched slightly from surprise. His thumb brushed across my cheek, just grazing the blindfold. “I see you went with the blindfold.”

I swallowed nervously. “Don’t take it off.”

“I won’t, I promise.” His hand moved. They fell on my shoulders and trailed slowly down my arm until he was holding my hands. “Stand up.”

My legs felt weak and jelly-like, but my body was absolutely buzzing with anticipation. His touches left hot little trails down my arms, a pleasant tingling of sensitive nerves, and that was through my clothing. How much better would it be if my shirt came off?

He seemed to have the same idea, once making sure I was steady on my feet, his hands went to my shirt, tugging gently. “Can I take this off?”

“Yes.”

The shirt was held together with a tie at my waist, and he deftly undid the bow. The shirt fell lose around my shoulders and exposed my nakedness underneath. My skin prickled with goosebumps, and I felt suddenly very shy of my body. The triplets had changed me, and while my stretch marks hadn’t registered before as anything other than marks of my pregnancy and I didn’t find the curving of my belly to be an unpleasant sight, I knew that wasn’t how everyone felt about it. _‘Grotesque’_ I had heard some people say of pregnancy back home, ‘ _body ruining.’_ Feeling suddenly very conscious of the eyes on my body, I crossed my arms over my chest, pulling my shirt closed again.

He paused, his hands pulling back. “What’s wrong?”

“D-don’t look. I-I’m…”

“You’re beautiful.”

I bowed my head and pulled my arms tighter. “I’m not used to being _seen_.”

“Okay. Okay, how’s this?” He stepped away, moved around behind me. His hands fell on my shoulders again. “Is this better?”

I thought about it. He would still see me, but maybe the view from behind wouldn’t be as exposing. I nodded and relaxed my arms. He started pulling gently at my shirt, exposing my shoulders and breasts entirely. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck, and unconsciously I began to match it.

“Tell me if there’s anywhere you don’t want me to touch.”

“I will.” My body was beginning to take over for my brain. Every touch felt like fire, lighting up pleasant tingle wherever his fingers landed. It was almost like the mist, though nowhere near as unpleasant. This was controllable, satiable, pleasant. This was… not horrible. It was actually very nice.

His hands were calloused, like Obi-Wan’s but calloused in different places. The difference between holding a lightsaber and a blaster. I could feel every callous as they ran gently over my bare skin, around my shoulders, down my arms, pulling my shirt with them until it the sleeves came free from my arms and it fell to the floor. His hands ran back up my arm, down my bare back, around my waist, skirting past my belly, until they cupped my breasts.

My breath caught in my throat at that touch. It wasn’t like I hadn’t noticed how sensitive my breasts had become over the pregnancy, they were always sore and aching, and my nipples always seemed to be rock hard, but even my touching them hadn’t elicited a reaction like this. My legs went a little weak and I let myself lean back against him. He seemed encouraged by my reaction, cupping my breasts more firmly. He teased at my nipples with his rough fingertips, and I swore that alone was going to tip me into an orgasm. The rest of my body was catching onto the attention. I could feel my pussy get hot and wet and began to tingle in appreciation for the attention my breasts were getting.

He bent his head and began peppering little kisses along my neck and shoulders, blazing a trail all across the delicate skin. His hands were both fully occupied with my breasts, working on them with a strangely tender kind of roughness. I could feel the pleasure building in me. I wasn’t going to come, was I? Surely my body wasn’t _so_ desperate for touch that I could be undone so easily.

“Oh fuck.” I managed to whisper before I tipped into a small orgasm. Nothing toe curling or mind blowing, but enough to make my legs weak and my heart race.

He was ready for me, holding me close and secure when my legs gave out for a moment. I felt a smile curve his lips against my neck. “Let’s get you to bed.”

I made no protest as he laid me out on the bed. Setting me down gently like I was made of fragile glass. I made a disappointed noise when he pulled away – surely that wasn’t the end. He chuckled, no we weren’t done.

“Be patient,” he said lowly, though I could hear the smile in his voice.

His weight settled on the bed beside me and his hands roamed from my waist to my hips, his thumbs caught on my waistband. He hesitated for a moment, asking silent permission to continue. I lifted my hips to expedite the removal of my shorts. I hadn’t bothered with underwear beneath them, anticipating tonight’s activities would lead to this point.

He took far longer than necessary pulling my shorts down my legs, trailing his fingers along with them, moving in the opposite direction I wanted. When they finally reached my feet I kicked them off impatiently and heard them hit the floor somewhere in the room. That got another laugh from him as he caught my blindly flying foot, probably before I accidentally hit him in the face.

He took a moment to massage my foot and ankle, easing some of the constant ache they carried these days. “Now I know you like this,” he teased.

“Yes,” I said a bit impatiently. Because while a good foot massage was a pleasure in its own right, it wasn’t what I wanted right now.

He seemed to get the message, leaving my swollen ankles alone and traveling back up my legs. His hands lingered excruciatingly on my thighs, a respectful distance from anything untoward, even though I parted my legs welcomingly. His hands lifted. His weight shifted forward on the bed.

I realized that now was probably the time to include him in on the fun, surely now he had to be half-mad with arousal as I was. I groped blindly towards the weight by my hips, and my hands found his chest. I ran my fingers down the firm muscle, across his hard abdomen until I found his waistband. I didn’t even get to work my fingers underneath before he had my hands caught and pulled away, pinned gently down on either side of my head.

“No, no,” he chided, “This is about you, not me.”

My breath caught and my fingers curled. This really was too good to be true. Breathless, I said, “Okay.”

“Keep those hands to yourself.”

I grabbed a fistful of sheets to show I would behave myself.

“Good girl.”

He let go of my wrists. His hands slid down to my breasts again but skimmed past them to rest on my belly. I felt another flash of self-consciousness. Earlier in the pregnancy, I had gotten used to touches on my stomach, it was how Obi-Wan checked the babies, assured himself that they were growing healthily, but since we were rescued from the cage, since we got proper scans and medical care, it had been so long since someone had touched a bare hand to my bare skin. Now, here I was, entirely exposed to the touch of another man, a man whose identity I wasn’t even entirely certain of. Obi-Wan saw my body somewhat in awe, as it was carrying and nurturing our children. What would this man think about it?

“It really is a beautiful thing,” he said, as if reading my mind. “It’s incredible, what you can do. Can endure, and still stay so strong. You are beautiful, Kenna. Let me worship every inch of your body.”

His weight shifted as he leaned over me. His hands lifted from my belly and took one of my arms, trailing down it slowly as he pressed little kisses to the skin. The touches were so tender, the kisses to light, I’d never been treated like this before, touched like this. He worked all the way down to my hand, pressing a kiss to the palm, before gently folding my arm back and picking up the other. He gave my arm the same treatment, and when he was done with that one, he moved onto my legs. My self-consciousness and sexual frustration was forgotten as he worked down my legs, giving me a gentle massage as he lavished me with tenderness. Then he moved to my body, lifting me ever so gently from the bed so his hands could work up and down my back and across my hips.

By the time he was done, I felt so relaxed and cared for, but I was aching for a touch of a different kind. He laid me to rest once more gently on the bed, resting his hands on the bed beside me.

“Are you ready for more?”

His hands were on the move again, one moving up to my breasts while the other slipped between my legs. I parted willingly to his hand. He gave my clit a couple brushes with his fingertips before slipping one finger inside me. I couldn’t help but gasp as my body reacted eagerly to the new touches. He worked his single finger for a moment before adding a second finger. My back arched at the thrill of pleasure that sent shooting up my spine. His fingers pumped slowly in and out of me, stroking my walls, and his thumb found my clit, working at that in tantalizing circles. That in combination with the attention his other hand was giving my breasts was quickly building up my pleasure.

I only had a brief moment to wonder where the fuck an asexual clone had learned to do this before my brain gave up entirely on thought for several minutes. A much stronger orgasm washed over me, the mind-blowing release I so desperately needed. As the powerful waves of pleasure coursed through me, he kept stroking, elongating the orgasm until I was breathless and near brainless. He withdrew his fingers as I came down and caught my breath.

“Think you’ve got one more in you, _ik’ade’buir_?”

“Oh, fuck yes.” I answered without thinking, my brain and body only obsessing on the fact that we could have another orgasm, even one half as good as the last would be the cherry on top.

I was vaguely aware of his weight lifting from the bed once more and settling down between my legs. His hands were gentle as they repositioned my legs.

“What’re you?” I managed to ask before I felt his breath on my exposed pussy. “Oh!” I felt my cheeks go red and hot. This would be a new experience.

He paused, “You’ll tell me if you want me to stop.”

“I will.”

Though I was still securely blindfolded, I felt like I could see when he bent his head to me. I could feel his motion in his breath on me, the pressure of his hands on my thighs. And then –

“Oh, fuuu-“ I bit down on the flesh of my hand to keep from shouting out. Holy shit. I’d heard oral could be one of the most pleasurable ways to have sex, but until now I’d never believed it. I hadn’t done anything like this in the cage. My brain was on the brink of a full shut down, I could barely keep myself together enough to remember to keep my voice low. I’d never been very vocal before and I didn’t want to start now, but goddamn was it hard. As he nibbled and licked and kissed and sucked it was all I could do to not start screaming.

This would be my quickest orgasm, I could feel the pleasure coiling up inside me, ready to explode. I wasn’t going to last long, but god I knew when I came it would be the best one yet.

I grabbed my sheets again to give my hands something to hold onto, and I lay there on the bed, panting, writhing, mewling beneath his ministrations, until finally that coil of pleasure reached its limit and broke loose. My mind went blank with pleasure and my body tingled from head to toe in waves of pleasure. When I came down, I was spent, utterly boneless.

“Feel better now?”

My answer came out in a breathless whisper. Yes, god yes, I felt so much better.

He scooped me up into his arms and shifted me carefully to the other side of the bed, resting my head on a pillow and pulling a blanket up over my shoulders. I managed to catch his wrist before he stepped away.

“Thank you.” I wanted to say more, to specify what exactly I was thankful for, but I didn’t think I needed to say all that. He knew what I mean.

He patted my hand and I let him go. “Any time, Kenna.”

I heard him walk across the room, the door slid open again, the thin lines of light around the edges of my blindfold disappeared, he crossed the threshold and the door closed behind him. I managed to stave off sleep just long enough to be certain he was gone and pull my blindfold off. Then I was deep asleep.

I woke up the next morning feeling chipper and refreshed. I had slept the whole night through, which was saying something as these days I was usually awake at least once to pee. Still, I knew my good mood wasn’t entirely attributed to a restful night of sleep.

My good mood didn’t go unnoticed when I sat down at breakfast across from Obi-Wan. Anakin was bickering with Ahsoka over something innocuous and I tuned them out when I caught Obi-Wan’s eye. He smiled at me over the rim of his cup of tea and asked so innocently, “So, did you sleep well last night?”

I felt a flash of fear that maybe I hadn’t been so quiet last night as I had thought until Obi-Wan tapped at his temple. He had sensed my evening’s escapades, of course. I grinned back shyly and said, “Actually, I slept quite well.”

“Good. That’s good to hear. New room is working out well. The bed’s comfortable.”

“Indeed it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I didn't include the blindfold because I straight up could not make up my mind as to who Kenna's new best friend should be. Why would you ever ask that?


End file.
